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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going to a barbers as a woman?

42 replies

l0stmummy · 03/09/2018 20:39

In May I buzzed off all my hair. My medication was making my hair very thin and brittle so I thought I'd just do it before it inevitably all snapped off. I did it myself. I hadn't touched it at all, and it was about 2 inches long all over so I decided I needed a tidy up. I just wanted a short back and sides. I had a difficult day so I asked DH to look after DD while I went and made myself feel better.

So I walk into the barbers and ask them for the generic cut they have on the board on the wall. They say no, sorry, we don't serve women. I asked why and they said they "just don't" They're a "men's barbers and cut men's hair." I told them I want a men's haircut, nothing crazy just a simple back and sides. But they still insisted not to serve me.

I'm currently sat at home all upset, because I don't understand why it was wrong to ask for a barber, who specializes in men's hairstyles, to give me a men's hairstyle. Was I being unreasonable going to a barbers? Should I have gone to a normal salon?

(There was no advertising on the building or online that this was a men's only salon)

OP posts:

Santaclarita · 03/09/2018 21:11

I think it's also because some men don't like getting their hair cut with women. Dunno why though. There's a hairdresser near me that does men's nights and they prefer to go then to avoid the women customers.

Hedgehogblues · 03/09/2018 21:14

Why can't you just go to a hairdresser?

women's hairdressers will never cut my hair the way I want it. They always insist on feminising it or making it softer when I just want a basic short back and sides

phlebasconsidered · 03/09/2018 21:17

I go to the barbers. I have very short hair and a fade and hairdressers just don't do it properly. Always try to give me some feathery shit.

At first they were a bit dubious, but it was unusual to have such short hair back then. Now a lot more women have short hair. I see quite a few. Plus it only costs 6 quid!

Aeroflotgirl · 03/09/2018 21:33

Beacause hair salons are 3 times more expensive for the same cut. Yiu could also find a good mobile hairdresser, who is cheaper than a salon.

BumDisease · 03/09/2018 21:37

I'll rephrase the question; why is it unreasonable of the barber to only want to cut men's hair?

And I'm 99% certain that this exact same thread was posted a few months ago.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 03/09/2018 21:57

It's so annoying isn't it. I've also been told that they aren't insured - it does make me wonder in this modern world of self-ID if we just said we identify as men that they would have to cut our hair or they could be done for discrimination!

I can never get a hairdresser to go short enough at the back, they all want to feather it around the hairline which just curls up and looks shit, then grows into a mullet within 2 weeks! And yes, they usually charge far more than a barber.

Hedgehogblues · 03/09/2018 22:22

it does make me wonder in this modern world of self-ID if we just said we identify as men that they would have to cut our hair or they could be done for discrimination!

Nope, none of the trans men I know that don't pass can get their hair cut in barbers that don't cut women's hair either

petalflowercherrybomb · 03/09/2018 22:49

DP gets hers done at the local barbers. They're brilliant. Hairdressers always try to 'fluff it up' as she puts it when really she just wants to look like Zayn Malik. Her current barber says he gets loads of girls coming in asking for similar.

I'm jealous as she pays 10 quid for hers and mine is 32 pounds at least

sessionExpired · 04/09/2018 04:36

It's one of the few remaining male spaces. Let them have it.

He shouldn't have to cut your hair if he doesn't want to.

straightjeans · 04/09/2018 21:30

I go to a barber shop full of men. There is one female barber there. Everyone who works in the shop has cut my hair at some point.

SynchroSwimmer · 04/09/2018 22:13

Maybe try one of the Uk based Turkish Barbers who operate now in many towns?

I do like their stylish precision mens cuts.

...and I will admit to trying a few of them when in Turkey...the barbers seemed nervous at my requests - and then there was the language barrier as well, but they all willingly obliged. 🙂

Hellywelly10 · 04/09/2018 22:34

It sounds like you had a shit day and this was the icing on the cake.

ItsJusNicFromOldham · 10/04/2023 00:30

Hi all, so basically I shaved my head last July for charity (McMillan) I hated it anyway so it seemed like a 2 birds, 1 stone situation.. Fast forward to now, and it’s grown to the nape of my neck, I can make a quiff on top lol and it’s annoyingly af round my ears and neck so desperately in need of a trim, only the usual hairdressers is in town, where I seldom go anymore, or there’s a barbers literally up the road from me, bout 4/5 min away.. I’m an anxious/nervous person in general so don’t know if I’m allowed to do that or what to ask for and if he’s says no or is rude I know 100% I’ll jus come home and have a meltdown..
Any help/advice appreciated..👍🏼

Seeingadistance · 10/04/2023 00:51

I get my hair cut at a local barbers. The first one I tried, staffed by two women, refused. At the time I had a short undercut. Second barbers I tried asked what I wanted done - pointed at my head, short undercut like this - and I explained that hairdressers who cut women's hair no longer seem able to work clippers, or even have sharp clippers, and can't do short haircuts. And they charge a fortune!

I'm not disputing what previous posters have said about insurance covering either for men's or women's haircuts, but that really is nonsensical as there is nothing intrinsically male or female about a haircut. I'm in my mid-50s and as a child and teenager, males and females had broadly similar haircuts.

TomPinch · 10/04/2023 00:54

I asked my (male) barber about this and he said the techniques used for cutting men's hair are different, which would explain why barbers / hairdressers specialise.

DD's friend, who is learning to be a hairdresser, won't cut my hair for the same reason (I'm male.)

Regarding cheapness, most barbers take 10 / 15 minutes tops. Is this less time than women's cuts? It would explain the difference in price.

I wonder if insurance has an effect: less risk of getting things expensively wrong with men's hair hence lower premiums.

Also I find that hairdressers who specialise in men's and women's hair will charge me two or three times as much as a barber. They tend to take a bit longer cutting my hair.

70sDuvet · 10/04/2023 01:12

I got my haircut for years at the barbers. I agree with PP the Turkish barbershops were more easily persuaded to do it. Though occasionally a traditional barber would too.

I just always went in with full confidence as if I was meant to be there, asked for a short back and sides. Then I trimmed the top layers myself at home - as I think they were the bits they were more concerned about doing.

I always assured them that if it went wrong I didn't care - because frankly I didn't- hair grows back.

Now missing my £8 haircuts and my home bleach jobs over my £££ long bob and baylage.

Hainets · 23/03/2025 01:48

A woman is entitled to plain barbered short back and sides just as women give me a Cut shampoo and Set . Women are entitled to . Women are Enforcing men for Cut Shampoo and Set. Fashion and popular bill in parliament take precedence anyway. Hairnets

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