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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Golliwogs...

544 replies

GoodNewsTwo · 03/09/2018 17:44

A colleague of mine today put a small golliwog figurine on her desk. Said she's always liked them and that she doesn't see an issue. I explained that some people (myself included) find them offensive and dated, and think they are too controversial for a workplace setting. As a black woman, I don't really like to sit and look at it all day. I'm sure many people wouldn't regardless of their ethnicity/race. AIBU to ask her again to remove it? I don't want to be 'that girl' who has an issue with race (I don't) - on this occasion, I just feel extremely uncomfortable.

wwyd?

OP posts:
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 04/09/2018 09:35

I’d be fucking aggressive about this too....and I am white.

It’s inappropriate, it’s racist and it’s bloody awful.

I never had one of these as “toys” as a child and that was in the seventies. My Mum pulled faces and said they were racist as did my Nan who was born in 1904.

And to the poster who said the OP was “oversensitive”...have a word with yourself. That’s one of the most stupid things I have read in the past year. Idiot.

Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 04/09/2018 09:37

ugh

I did ask her to remove it. She doesn't see an issue and has left it there.

I don't think this is a strange way for someone to react. I've seen people raise issues about race before in an open office only to be labelled as 'that black person who has a chip on their shoulder'

It's a really deep rooted worry and issues regarding race are really not easy to raise. I doubted myself because that's what we often do.

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 04/09/2018 09:37

Bugger - straight to HR with you OP ... l'm afraid this thread has rather highlighted the problems you are facing. Good luck.

PS. I still think stamping on it has a certain poetry Wink

MagentaRocks · 04/09/2018 09:38

I wasn't born in a multi cultural town. Every person at the schools I went to were white. I never really knew anyone that wasn't white until I was in my twenties. It hasn't made me racist, coming from a multi cultural town doesn't automatically mean you are not racist and your views are more valid.

Keely71 · 04/09/2018 09:41

Ask her to move it op in the first instance ( sorry haven’t RTFT so you may have already done this? )
I remember my 1st job at 17. It was a fairly male dominated environment & in the staff room they had a page 3 calendar. It made me feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed but I just didn’t have the guts to say anything, I doubt they would have taken it down even if I’d said anything but still.
I wish people would think more about what they consider is ‘harmless’

Keely71 · 04/09/2018 09:42

Ah, I’ve just seen you have. X posts.

UghNoWay · 04/09/2018 09:45

GoodNewsToo

I did ask her to remove it. She doesn't see an issue and has left it there

Well ask her again and let her now you are going to go to HR about it if she doesn't. Tell her you've given it more thought and you want her to move it. It's weird to be sitting there doing nothing about it. You've time to update MN so I'm thinking you have time to actually address the problem either by speaking to her again or contacting HR. Maybe when you spoke to her yesterday she could sense your doubt about whether the figurine was a reasonable thing for you to be offended by. Surely after this thread you can confidently tell her it IS offensive.

No need to have a row with her.
I don't understand why you would risk drawing it out.

UghNoWay · 04/09/2018 09:45

Sorry for typos

Know not now.

UghNoWay · 04/09/2018 09:49

I'm curious what type of workplace you work in, what sort of area it is and the ages of you and your offensive colleague. Roughly obviously so as not to put yourself.

Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 04/09/2018 09:50

I have time to type on mn because I'm in the back of a car on my way to a meeting!

I'm still going to raise it with HR. I explained that the doll is considered racist and offensive to black people. I'm not going to beg her. If it gets drawn out then so be it but a word with HR might actually benefit her. She has a bloody golliwog on her desk for goodness sake and a black colleague on the desk next to her! If that's not an issue for management then I don't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 04/09/2018 09:51

I work in an office. 15 of us roughly. She's 40 something. I'm 20 something.

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 04/09/2018 09:53

I'm white and I'd find it offensive. If she doesn't see problem, she's in the wrong. It's like saying a bare tits poster is appropriate in the work place.

antipodeankat · 04/09/2018 09:53

@GoodNewsTwo, I am really sorry that you have had to deal with this at work and that you have been criticised on MN. You are perfectly entitled to ask your colleague to remove it. 💐💐💐

bellinisurge · 04/09/2018 09:54

I'm older than her. It's not an age thing, it's a stupid thing.

Jakethekid · 04/09/2018 09:54

Am I the only one wondering why a grown ass woman (I presume because golliwogs are a very dated thing) has a figurine on her desk in the first place??

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 04/09/2018 09:57

@obviousNC101 fuck off

Eminado · 04/09/2018 10:04

. It's weird to be sitting there doing nothing about it. You've time to update MN so I'm thinking you have time to actually address the problem either by speaking to her again or contacting HR. Maybe when you spoke to her yesterday she could sense your doubt about whether the figurine was....

Ugh can i ask why you are interrogating the OP?
Why does she have time to be on Mumsnet? Wtf kind of question is that?
YOU are on Mumsnet arent you?
Wtf does the OP have to justify being on mumsnet, having to post, name changing, proving she is not a troll, she is not a DM journo, she is not a goady fucker, why didnt she go straight to HR - WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS aggressive vetting all about?!
Because she is black?
Because the person in the wrong is white?

Why are you auditing her like this? Like there is an imagined threshold made up by you that she has to meet before her post is valid?

Foh!

White privilege at it’s best.

bluetongue · 04/09/2018 10:12

YANBU

This is news where I live at the moment www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/royal-adelaide-show-may-not-accept-golliwog-dolls-after-social-media-backlash/news-story/8c64863cda054fee7c347619bf7b019e

As much as Australia is mostly a great place to live it can also be incredibly backwards and insular at times. Most people reacting to the article legitimately have no idea why golliwogs are offensive.

UghNoWay · 04/09/2018 10:13

Eminado

Why does she have time to be on Mumsnet? Wtf kind of question is that?

Try reading what I wrote. I was very clear. I wasn't interrogating her about why does she have time to be on Mumsnet. 🙄 I said if she has got time to be on Mumsnet then maybe it would be time better spent on addressing the actual problem. The OP said she was going to contact HR in the afternoon. Personally, I'd have sent an email this morning. The OP is chosing not to do that and she may well have perfectly valid reasons but now that the OP has established that she is not being unreasonable to be offended I'd encourage her to do something about it ASAP.

Pornstarlips · 04/09/2018 10:16

eminado you are absolutely correct.
This thread is another reminder what ethnic minorities have to put up with on a daily basis, but no matter what is thrown at us, we will always be proud of our heritage. SO BRING IT ON.

ilovesooty · 04/09/2018 10:19

This woman has not only told the OP she doesn't see what the issue is she has been deliberately provocative by sticking it down with blu tac. I hope HR make her remove it and also take further action to address her behaviour.

MeyMary · 04/09/2018 10:20

I had to google this. These kinds of toys weren't popular where I'm from. And I'm not black either so I may be missing something...

This seems clearly offensive. I would not blame someone for keeping their beloved childhood toy (at home...) but in an office? Even after you said something? It's imo unacceptable.

However: I've seen people raise issues about race before in an open office only to be labelled as 'that black person who has a chip on their shoulder'

She's also your senior and presumably a more established member of the team.
I feel like you need to decide whether making an official complaint (I'm hoping there is s procedure like that in place?) or to talking to your boss is worth the risk.

I'm really sorry that you're in this situation and that you have to consider the possible backlash to a complaint.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 04/09/2018 10:21

Not the point of the thread at all but in my workplace we are no longer allowed anything personal on our desks (even photos) as it doesn't look professional. I guess things like this are why.

OP please raise it with your manager /HR. The fact that whenever the term golliwog is used by anyone famous it creates uproar and debates around racism must show even the most oblivious person that they are no longer OK (I don't mean that they were ever OK but I guess people could be forgiven for thinking that when they received it as a doll as a child), and should definitely definitely not be tolerated in the workplace. There have been enough press storms about this over the years surely it is impossible to have missed it.

If your company don't act to remove this immediately I would have thought they would face claims of discrimination as they are making it uncomfortable for people to work there by effectively condoning racist paraphernalia. It is in your company's best interests for this to be reported and dealt with asap. Is it a large company with a big HR department and proper grievance procedure etc? I can't believe no one else has reported it, I definitely would and I know some of my colleagues would if we saw something similar on someone's desk. I understand it is harder as an ethnic minority though as you don't want to be seen as a troublemaker. I would really really hope that pointing this out wouldn't be classed as causing trouble though.

If you class this lady as a decent friend it is up to you whether you want to have another chat with her first. Point out its history and what it represents and how it makes you feel and how you wouldn't want anyone to think she is racist (!).

Even if she can't actually understand how upsetting it is, there is plenty of material explaining why it's offensive and racist so the 'it's just a doll' argument is like saying a swastika is 'just a geometric design'. Yes it is, but it also represents something evil

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 04/09/2018 10:23

If you have concerns about raising it officially...do you have a friend at work who you know would keep you out of it and raise it for you? Or a manager who would keep your name out of it etc?

ilovesooty · 04/09/2018 10:23

@MeyMary why should it be a problem to address a senior member of staff's racism unless your workplace is inherently racist?