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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asking me to turn off outside security lights

196 replies

DLL1 · 03/09/2018 14:33

New neighbours have moved in next door to me and asked that I turn my security lights off at the night time. This is because they are (supposedly) shining into their landing and they sleep with the bedroom doors open and don't have a blind so it is going through into the bedroom.

They haven't said they will get a blind or curtain or shut their bedroom doors but want me to turn my lights off instead.

We have nothing but trees behind us so it's very dark without them on.

We have had the lights for 1 year and the family who have just moved out of that house never complained about the lights.

I turned them off last night when they asked but don't want to keep doing so as I paid a lot of money for them and like the garden to be lit up at night.

Am I being unreasonable if I refuse to turn them off during the night?

OP posts:
BackToTheFuschia7 · 03/09/2018 22:38

Good for you thecatsthecats and just because you aren’t frightened by something, doesn’t mean someone else can’t be. Glad you have ‘grips’, shame you don’t also have empathy.

And I don’t leave outdoors lights on so have no axe to grind Wink

willyloman · 03/09/2018 22:42

Get motion sensors or switch off lights - real pollution!

longwayoff · 03/09/2018 22:47

Blue Christmas lights are abomination and should be binned immediately. Small town near me forked out a few thousand for blue lights a couple of years ago and will be putting them up every year. They're just depressing and wrong.

cameltoeflappyflapflap · 03/09/2018 22:47

I have a motion sensor light but I switched it off at night because it kept going off with the foxes that ran through my garden.

My neighbours never complained but I decided to switch it off because it would annoy me with the amount it was going off if the light was going in my bedroom.

NipInTheAir · 03/09/2018 22:57

I think you are being unreasonable. Some eco friendly uplighters along your drive, paths should provide security and perhaps a gentle porch light.

What surprises me is if you are so close to your neighbours your lights shine into their bedroom, is why you need security lights af all?

GuntyMcGee · 03/09/2018 22:57

The people in the street in front of us (their rear garden faces the front of our house) have a motion sensor security light which is way bigger/brighter than necessary for their garden size. It shines intermittently through our bathroom window, down the landing and illuminates our bedroom.

I'm often woken by it flicking on at random times.

Just because I've never been round and complained about it doesn't mean it doesn't disturb us. It does.

We do have a blind and I don't want to sleep with my bedroom door shut, plus it still shines through the glass panel at the top of the door frame so wouldn't make a difference if we did close it.

Ultimately OP if your outdoor lights are disrupting someone else's sleep and enjoyment of their home then yes, YABU to continue using them.

AJPTaylor · 03/09/2018 23:03

Blimey.
OP am i being unreasonable?
Whole of mumsnet Yes!
OP fair enough, i'll stop it then.

Fair play Op

BigBlueBubble · 03/09/2018 23:07

My neighbour put up a motion sensor light that shone straight into my bedroom. To make things worse, it was faulty and flicked on and off every 5 seconds. Drove me nuts. Flashing on and off was actually worse than a light that was always on because the flashing caught your attention. We put up blackout curtains but the light still leaked round the edges and across the ceiling. I ended up sleeping on the sofa because it was the only room that faced away from their house. And then they got annoyed when I repeatedly asked them to fix it and accused me of being difficult. Why would I waste my time complaining about a light if it wasn’t genuinely causing a problem? I was inches away from smashing the bulb with a big rock when they took it down and replaced it with an uplighter than turns itself off at 11pm.

YABU not to realise how disruptive it is to have lights shining into your house at night. I do have lights on my own house (because it looks nice and I like to be able to see when I go outside or come home late etc). But they’re uplighters and they turn off at 11pm.

batshitbetty · 03/09/2018 23:09

I think everyone is being a bit unkind to OP on this thread. Maybe she is afraid of the dark? maybe she lives alone? It depends what kind of location her house is in as to how scarily dark it might be at night.
My neighbour installed a motion sensor light and it shines onto my back garden and I am really grateful for it because I am on my own. So as posters suggest perhaps OP can get one of those. Buy the neighbours some blindfolds/sleeping masks!

Or get some bloody nightlights! Constant lights are actually attractive to burglars as it helps them see what they are doing. So twats that insist on lighting up the neighbourhood all night are not only putting themselves at risk but all their neighbours whose properties are being lit up. It should be illegal to cause such a nuisance, it is so anti social, and frankly if you are frightened to that degree you need to move, grow up or get a dog. Not irritate all your sodding neighbours

tinyme77 · 03/09/2018 23:09

Surely having the lights on makes it easier for the burglar to break in. Please turn them to only coming on if they detect movement. You are wasting resources and creating light pollution.

batshitbetty · 03/09/2018 23:10

*Ahem. I grew up rurally (though even though the nearest town was 10 miles away over the hills you could see the glare of lighting).

I could see the stars, the moon bright enough to cast shadows, and yes, some nights of absolute dark. Because it's completely natural and I am well supplied with grips.

Sometimes it's actually ok to tell someone to woman up you know.*

This!

80sMum · 03/09/2018 23:15

I think you're being very sensible in turning the lights off, OP. They would otherwise be causing a nuisance and contributing to light pollution.

I think having lights on all night, aside from the nuisance factor, is not a good look anyway. The only place I've seen recently with bright lights on all night is Dartmoor Prison!

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 03/09/2018 23:17

I think everyone is being a bit unkind to OP on this thread. Maybe she is afraid of the dark?

How would lighting up someone elses bedroom help if she's scared of the dark? A lamp in her own bedroom would make more sense!

wombat1a · 03/09/2018 23:19

VVU, even if the lights are angled downwards there is a huge amount of light pollution from the reflections off the garden itself.

You would be a neighbour from hell for most people. An alternative if you really really must have some lights in your garden would be to put some solar powered 5w lamps dotted around on sticks no more than 50cm off the ground, they will live some light to the ground and be a) dim enough and b) low enough to probably not bother others.

Redland12 · 03/09/2018 23:20

We have this problem with our neighbours, it’s like a normal day in our bedroom but brighter! So inconsiderate so yes YABU! People need to sleep.

Ilovelblue · 03/09/2018 23:44

I had a motion sensor security light fitted a few years ago and the old guy who lived across the road moaned from day one that it shone into his bedroom. I do think he was being deliberately difficult (it was his way) but I got a lower wattage bulb put in and had it angled downwards. He was ok after that. When he died and somebody new moved in, I did wonder if the new resident would complain but he's never said a word about it.

CoffeeCoffeeTea · 03/09/2018 23:44

Hi OP, I hope you are ok ? If you like to have your garden lit up at night I recommend solar lights . If you are worried about security you need an alarm.

eddielizzard · 04/09/2018 06:59

@Mehaveit thanks for that! It certainly is worth a try.

serbska · 04/09/2018 07:20

Ugh you are totally U with your floodlights.

its really dark otherwise
No shit Sherlock, it’s night time! It’s meant to be dark you wally!

serbska · 04/09/2018 07:21

You would be a neighbour from hell for most people. An alternative if you really really must have some lights in your garden would be to put some solar powered 5w lamps dotted around on sticks no more than 50cm off the ground, they will live some light to the ground and be a) dim enough and b) low enough to probably not bother others

^this

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/09/2018 09:35

A bit unfair to label @DLL1 a 'neighbour from hell' when she has said, in response to this thread, that she WILL switch the light off at night from now on, @serbska.

Freezingheart · 04/09/2018 09:45

Sorry but I think you’re being really unread here. Yes they maybe ought to consider curtains etc but ultimately your choices are now dictating how another family have to live and decorate their house. By all means get motion sensor and angle away from other houses but lights on all night is really antisocial. Plus expensive. And is light pollution.

LemonysSnicket · 04/09/2018 09:50

How wasteful, having your garden lit all night ... who for? The squirrels?

It's enraging having someone else's lights waking you up.

Childrenofthestones · 04/09/2018 10:04

You are being totally selfish.
The answer is simple.
Test their coverage in the dark and angle them down so that the light doesn't extend beyond your boundary.
To expect to be able to Shine a floodlight into your neighbours property highly selfish and inconsiderate.
This is the downside that people didn't for see when the cost of running flood lights dropped dramatically with LED bulbs.
People wouldn't leave two or three 500 watt lights on but will happily leave two or three 10 watt lights on through the night.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2018 10:07

Has anyone even bothered to read the OP's updates, let alone RTFT?

She's said she's turning them off.