Asking my neighbour and his visiting lady friend not to shag so loudly at 1am and 5am - aibu to ask you to help me word it?

[lilyheather1]

I'll start this by mentioning that I have zero issue with having this conversation with my neighbour, I don't embarrass easily, but I don't know how to bring it up and get across my frustrations without creating neighbourly tension between us.

So a bit of a back story, a few weeks ago I posted on here about my male neighbour who is occasionally visited by a lady friend, say two nights week. On those nights, they shag SO LOUDLY! If it was just creaking, it would be more livable but we can hear EVERYTHING, moans, dirty talk and the rest, and I'm beginning to feel like an involuntary participant in their late night sessions. The kind people of MN suggested we shout through the wall so they knew just how thin they were, we tried this by shouting "It's so loud!!" but it made zero difference and they then woke us again at 5am.

My DH works in an industry where he works 9 - 5.30 Mon-Fri and often works 14 hour shifts on the weekends too. as such, he NEEDS to sleep far more than I do and I am incredibly pissed off on his behalf.

Don't get me wrong, I think sex is great too, but I think it's so disrespectful to not even try to alter your volume if you're going to go at it in the early hours when you know most people will be asleep.

I'm going to knock on his door tonight and have a word, but I don't know how to say "please stop shagging so loudly" without getting visibly pissed off. I'd like us to have a civil neighbourly relationship and want to make the chat as non-accusatory as I can, whilst still getting across how loud (and frankly fairly grim) it is. How would you word it?

I'll leave mentioning how often his dog barks for another day....

I played Chas & Dave at my neighbours when they did squealing and moaning at 3am. I only had to do it twice.

Why can't you just use ear plugs?

My last neighbour was like this. Used to wake me up and that was annoying. I used to shout be quiet at the wall which made no difference. I used to try really hard to be quiet and considerate in the mornings because I got up earlier than them. So I stopped. Used to have tv on full blast, banging doors etc. Very childish. They moved out.

Wish I'd thought of the music playing protests. I'd have played the funeral march or the birdy song through the wall

When they finish either shout at top of voice "oi ive not finished yet" whilst ba ging on the wall.

Or turn up sounds of aplause ans start scoring them so just shout 5/10 not as good as before etc

Yes imature i know. But it will do the trick!!

Wait until after they’ve gone to sleep and sound a fog horn after they’ve just drifted off. Or post a score card and write at the bottom every time she’s faking it. Or maybe DH just needs some ear plugs

How funny. Bet the girlfriend will be mortified when she finds out !