To think DD can't drive to Wales yet (18 and passed her test last month)?

[HaHaItsRosa]

We live in London. DD, has randomly booked this little cabin thing in Wales!? It's for tomorrow. Plans on leaving tonight and staying in a Travelodge or similar and then arriving tomorrow. This is her first ever trip away on her own... she also only drives to work. She starts uni extremely soon and "wanted a peaceful getaway before it starts". I'm a bit hmm. I know she's 18 and she can go on her own and she's obviously no longer my daughter so I shouldn't worry about her no but seriously, I'm really worried. She's a sensible girl, she really is, but Wales!!!! Tell me I'm too involved and she'll be fine.

I grew up in the countryside with no buses so I was out driving for hours daily from the moment I got my test. The first evening after I passed my test aged 17, I picked up two friends and we drove two hours down the motorway to the city to visit a friend in hospital. I have never been fearful of driving anywhere (although crossing through the tolls into Manhattan on one holiday was a bit hairy). I am always a bit surprised at these super cautious drivers on MN who can't drive more than a hour, can´t drive on a motorway, can´t all sorts of other things. I wonder do people end up as long term unconfident drivers by putting all these restrictions on themselves, when the best thing they could have done after passing their tests was just to go out and do it?

It's quite normal to be worried in this scenario - I would be. Honestly, some posters are so heavy-handed on the 'leave her be' comments they must be wearing concrete gloves to type. I'd just give her loads of advice, hope she takes it, then sit back let her get on with it. It's an achievement for her, she'll be pleased and proud when she's done it - and so will you

I'd be concerned too, but not much you can do. Spend a bit of time preparing her for 'what if's', (breakdowns/ flat tyre), also warn her that the roads in Wales can be very dark with sudden tight bends. She really doesn't want to be approaching these with any speed.

Stop stressing her out.

Help her plan.

You need to calm yourself down. Good parenting at this age is helping them carry out their own plans, not imposing your own.

Are you anxious generally? How on earth have you never been on a motorway in the dark?

I've seen a few similar posts on the same topic of driving. I am struggling to think of another example in life where someone passes an exam successfully, then says that person cannot do that activity ! I spent time and money passing my scuba diving exams. Would you be telling me that I should not be going on holiday to scuba dive , because it is a dangerous sport ? There is no logic to your argument. People gain experience when they drive or dive under different conditions like weather, day or night, the seasons. You pass the exam, you do the activity !

She sounds fab. Yes it's scary for parents when they head off on their own after passing their tests, but don't squash her enthusiasm.

My 17 year old DD passed her test in June. We're in London and a couple of nights later she said she was popping out to get a Starbucks with a friend at 10.30pm. Fine, I said be careful etc. I went to bed and was woken up at 1.30am to the sound of her coming in! Turns out they decided to go down to Brighton .... just because they could . It's an exciting time for them, independence.

Don't you have to drive on motorways in order to pass your test now OP?

M4 is the easiest motorway - straight road into Wales.

I think they've recently changed the rules but you didn't used to have lessons on motorways.

It's odd. I remember taking DD out one weekend practising before her test and we had to stick to the A roads .... wasn't allowed on motorway at all with me sitting beside her. The following weekend she had passed her test and allowed on them alone!

Ach - the week I passed my test (at 17) I got a job at a motorway service station so was on the motorway every day. And shortly after passing my test I took me and my car on adventures all over the U.K., the Channel Islands, France, Belgium. Nothing bad happened. She’ll be fine.

YANBU in my opinion. Passing your test means you have the basic skills required for driving but experience is the main thing that counts. I would be nervous if my daughter drove such a long distance so soon after passing her test. However your daughter sounds sensible and confident and am sure she will be fine. I was always taught not to trust anyone else on the road and don't assume everyone will do what they are supposed to when driving.

I passed my test at 2pm on a Friday afternoon (at the same age) and by 3pm I was on the M6 from the North West driving to Birmingham.

She'll be fine - please just let her do her own thing.

Motorway driving will be fine. They're some of the easiest roads in the UK! I think it sounds lovely and she'll be absolutely fine.

Don't you have to drive on motorways in order to pass your test now OP?

No. Learner drivers are now allowed to have lessons on the motorway with a qualified instructor but it's not part of the test, otherwise there are parts of the country where this would be very difficult as there's not a motorway nearby.

I drove to Wales from Leeds within a couple of months of passing my test. I was fine, obviously. A year later I drove to Spain.

Has she driven in the dark before? As long as she applies what she's learnt about dual carriageway driving to driving on the motorway, especially using her mirrors and checking her blind spot before changing lanes on the motorway, I'm sure she'll be fine. Also taking a break if she gets tired.

I wasn't sure where in Wales Powys is, but I see that it's a huge county that seems to take up literally half of Wales, so she could be heading to south, mid or north Wales, but I'm assuming it's mid Wales due to the Birmingham stopover.

The cabin with a hot tub sounds lush though.

It's natural to be worried OP, but I'm sure she'll be fine and have a lovely break.

Of course you will worry. I’m 45 and my Mum still worries about me! But, at 18 and about to go to University - it sounds fine. I was doing similar at that age. And also motorway driving isn’t a massive deal, and it will be useful practice for her.

This is why I think its brilliant learber drivers are allowed on motorway.

Takes away some of the worry from the 1st time on a motorway.

18 years old, just passed her test, never driven on the motorway, setting off on a 3 hours plus drive in the dark to a place she has never visited, mother unaware where Birmingham is, says she is no longer my daughter. Hmmm!

Honestly, best thing she could do. She sounds sensible, and I have a friend who still hasn't, 10 years after passing her test, driven on a motorway because she was too scared to and now she's built it up so much in her head she daren't. I had to go on the motorway the day I got my first car, so I was thrown in at the deep end, and I'm a more confident driver for it. If she's confident enough to go away for a weekend by herself, and she already knows she's stopping en route, I think she'll be fine :-) For your own sanity just check her oil etc before she goes!

I decided to be brave and drive to Manchester Airport after passing my test. Could I fuck work out how to leave the ringroad and get home. After circling for an hour and going across lanes I decided to return to the terminal and pay a taxi driver a tenner to guide me out

Not read whole thread but have dimmed.
I'm pretty surprised at the comments here. The day after I passed my test, aged 17, I drove alone from W Wales to Shrewsbury. Naff all phone signal. It set me up a a confident and proactive driver and drove to S France a month later. I imagine it would do the same for your daughter.

Lol! Did people not get the joke when I said "no longer my daughter" with all the emojis??? I was taking the piss that a lot of people on Mumsnet give that impression when you're concerned.

Also, I know where Birmingham is??

*skimmed

My 18 year old triplets who also passed their driving test recently know who posted this nonsense!

Abacucat I'm not a nervous driver at all. I drive in the dark all the time. I drive on motorways. I drive in City Centres. I drive long distances on my own, etc, etc. However, by choice, if going on a 4 hour journey, to a place I've never been, etc, it just makes sense to me to do that in the day time - when it is going to be light when I get there, when I've got time to spare on the odd occasion I've broken down, when I can pull off the road and feel safe if I want to break up the journey for an hour, when road signs are more easy to see when I am near the destination (particularly in some parts of Wales where the sat nav can't pick up a signal) and so forth. Doesn't make me a nervous driver, just don't see the point in putting extra challenges in the way of any job I am doing, if there is a choice.

She’ll be fine.

Never understood why so many people in Britain are so terrified of motorways. Easiest place to drive.