To think DD can't drive to Wales yet (18 and passed her test last month)?

[HaHaItsRosa]

We live in London. DD, has randomly booked this little cabin thing in Wales!? It's for tomorrow. Plans on leaving tonight and staying in a Travelodge or similar and then arriving tomorrow. This is her first ever trip away on her own... she also only drives to work. She starts uni extremely soon and "wanted a peaceful getaway before it starts". I'm a bit hmm. I know she's 18 and she can go on her own and she's obviously no longer my daughter so I shouldn't worry about her no but seriously, I'm really worried. She's a sensible girl, she really is, but Wales!!!! Tell me I'm too involved and she'll be fine.

I drove 360 miles (Scotland heading south) 5 days after I passed. Maybe tell DD to stick some P plates onto her wee car just so that other road users are aware she's a relatively new driver, especially if she's not used to driving busy motorways or long distances. I kept my P plates on for that journey and other drivers were really nice to me! I'd never driven on a motorway before and found people were much better at letting me out to overtake and giving me a bit more distance

Driving in London is way harder than driving on the motorway to Wales. London drivers are so aggressive and awful. If she can drive there and be fine, she can drive anywhere in Britain. And she sounds sensible, so she will be fine.

Why would you no longer be proud because she’s spent some of the money she’s saved?
She’s taking herself away for a break for a few days before starting uni. Funded by herself. That’s brilliant.

She plans on driving in the dark she likes night driving as it's usually more quiet. I don't know how quiet the M roads are at night, I've never been on one in the dark!

Also tell her to Google map the journey, OP. It'll give her an idea where the roundabouts, junctions, etc. are!

Bonnie, there is no need to be nasty. It IS a hell of a drive.

Except driving long distances, as long as you take breaks, is not really an issue in itself. She sounds sensible. And I do think independence should be encouraged.

It will be quieter later on and motorways are easy at night too as there are better road markings, signs and cats eyes than you get on many A roads.

I'd be just as worried as you!
Wouldn't let her see it, but I'd be panic stricken about terrible things happening. (No sense detailing those here.) That's my issue though.
My daughter at that age was siimilar to yours by the sounds of it. She's 26 now. Drives and travels and is happily independent!
It's tough. She wants to do a relatively big, solitary, different thing. I get why it's scary for you. But she'll be ok.

I still think it's odd an 18 year old going to a cabin on her own?? Surely she's meeting someone and hasn't told you.

Well done you! You've raised a confident and independent young adult

She sounds very grown up and independent

We often do this journey. The worst bit is getting in and out of London. The other bit that can be tricky is on the A roads in Wales, which can be bendy and should not be taken too fast. There are idiots who may sit on her tail and pressurise her, so tell her not to go any faster than she judges safe

It's lovely to hear how many people who keep telling me how odd my daughter is she's not your "average" 18 yo, but she's not odd, fgs. She's just a girl who likes to be alone and draw. She's never had alcohol in her life, another thing that everyone loves to mention irl. On her 18th birthday we sat and had pizza... apparently that was odd, oh well.

The worst bit is getting in and out of London.

She won't need to be getting in and out of London. It'll be M25 all the way to the M4, I should think.

Mumsnet is so weird.

An 18 year old who has just passed her test and has never driven on a motorway wants to drive from east London to Wales alone - and her mum is told she is overprotective for worrying about her?!

Young drivers are statistically very likely to crash in their first year.

Motorways are tiring to drive on and you need to be able to stay alert for any problems at such high speed - it is obviously a risky thing to do to drive for several hours alone on a motorway for your first journey.

I would definitely try to talk my 18 year old out of doing that - as would any sensible parent.

Of course you can't stop her but you could show her stats on motorway crashes/ explain how tiring it is focusing on motorway driving.

I am an experienced driver and would not look forward to a drive like that.

For starters OP

• is she going to be comfortable coming on and off a motorway on busy slip roads?
• does she know where on the journey there are services and will she be sure to stop if she gets nervous/ finds it tiring and needs a break?
• does she understand how to stay alert when in her fourth hour of concentrating and lorries are hurtling past her?

To be honest I think it's irresponsible of her to do it without having had a motorway lesson - she is putting other drivers lives at risk if she isn't competent and prepared.

I dont think your daughter is odd for wanting to go to a cabin in Wales by herself! I think thats a great idea. Is she going to uni in another big city? Its a perfect chance to get some alone time in before she is again surrounded by people all the time.
I used to go camping by myself when I was around that age. I had lots of friends and still do... but its nice to unwind by yourself somewhere remote. Thats not odd at all!
OP your daughter sounds great. Confident and independent. Id be very proud of her.

I would have done this at 18. But I would have been meeting someone off the internet 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree with @waterrat and I would be concerned about an inexperienced driver, who has not yet driven on a motorway driving on the M4 from Dagenham to Wales in the dark. A big section of the M4 has no lighting after Reading and it can be quite scary with big freight lorries thundering past.

It is a long drive, look at aa website for preparation, take water, make sure car is ok, tyres oil water screenwash. Good idea to write down your route and have paper map a well as sat nav
Take a break every couple of hours, walk around for a few mins. If you feel tired stop and rest, travel lodge good idea. Make sure she knows what to do if she breaks down. Buy her some snacks for the journey.
Girl power!

Make sure she can use her wing mirrors

I grew up in rural Wales. Talk to her about windy bendy roads, that might have hedges obscuring whats going on ahead (nice and slow), that she doesn’t need to stick to the speed limit (60!) and can go as slow as she feels safe, that there will be laybys where she can pull over and let cars past if she has built up a tail and she shouldn’t stress about tails or rude honking people. She should watch out for sheep in some areas, and motorbikes too. And possibly slow moving tractors, or slow moving caravans unexpectedly blocking the road ahead.

Depending on how rural it is, the roads might be very very dark at night. There might still be sheep. Discuss full/dipped beam headlights. Perhaps suggest travelling in very early morning instead.

Definitely agree to the new driver plates!

Hope she has a great time! You must be proud of having such an independent and resourceful daughter.

I'm taking my sister to university in Wales (6 hour drive) in a few weeks and have enlisted DH to do the actual driving as I don't feel confident. I passed my test while pregnant with DC3 and haven't ever, in 9 years, done a long journey myself.
Wish I'd learned that independence at her age!