To ask the advice of anybody who has ever been on anti-depressants?

[therewillbetime]

I will try to keep this brief:
I suffered PND nearly 20 years ago with son (treated with ADs over several months and recovered pretty well)

Several years ago, I went through pretty tumultuous time: divorce, moving house, illness etc BUT coped pretty well. It was almost a case of the more I had going on, the better I coped.

Two (ish) years ago: went to GP as I felt down and had no apparent reason for this- things had settled in my life. GP helped me to narrow it down to most possibly, pretty severe PMS and was prescribed 7.5 mg Prozac.

Weaned myself off Prozac a couple of months ago with GP's advice. 7.5 mg is a tiny amount but dropped it really, really slowly as remember feeling terrible when coming off ADs when I had PND. Felt ok, but then had terrible crying bouts. Then felt ok for a bit. Currently - feel ok when I'm busy (which I often am), and can conduct myself pretty normally with other people even when I'm feeling a bit shit. But, at certain times I just feel so sad and tearful which is really not like me. There is nothing major in my life that is bad and I have lots of positives in my life - nice home, job (very stressful but work with good bunch of people), caring partner, healthy happy grown up son, and apart from all this, am healthy and fit. But, when I get tearful for no real reason it affects so much - for eg, partner asked if I wanted to go out for a bit tonight but I just couldn't face it and then I get more and more upset and things start going round my head.

I came off the Prozac because I seemed ok and the drug actually seemed to numb me a bit - I swear I did not shed a tear the whole time I was on it and I would rather not be on anything.

SO: I guess the Q is: at what point do/did people who have been on/off ADs know IF they should be on them? At what point do we sit and think that actually, we are feeling shit, but that's life OR do we think that this shouldn't be the case and ADs help. How much do they mask stuff? (The point I'm making is that yes, there are some things in my life I would like to change such as moving to a different area which I currently am unable to do but are my emotional feelings a normal reaction to being a bit fed up with stuff?) And also, if I AM depressed, how come I can function so well - not missed a day off work for 10 years, go to gym daily, blah blah blah). I would just be so interested in any of your experiences. Thanks

Worlds best nachos… yes, withdrawal is horrendous. Even after my low dose of Prozac, I felt awful for a couple of weeks.

Domino, I think it could be PMT related and am keeping a close eye on things.

Omg, yes, yes, yes......can’t bear music from the past as every other song brings back feelings it seems.

I would say that at times, I am functioning rather than living. The problem is that on Prozac the numbness makes me wonder if I’m still just functioning then, albeit in a more stable manner?

Depression isn't always about particular life events so sometimes looking for a reason isn't terribly helpful - it's just the way you're wired.

I take a fairly biochemical view of depression - mood is impacted by the chemical processes in our bodies, which is why depression can impact someone who feels like you, that there's no specific pressure or problem in your life that is causing it. It is actually, literally, all in your head, in the pathways and chemicals that the brain uses to tell us how we feel.

Neurotransmitters and receptors and synapses and whatnot in the brain can go wonky just like any other part of the body. For some people it corrects without treatment, for others it's a lifelong issue. It's actually pretty fascinating when you read up on it!

You can actually feel 'better' when you're really busy and pressured because the adrenaline and other hormones kick in so you're permanently firing on all cylinders, although it's not sustainable in the long term.

You're doing the right things - going to the gym is great for getting your endorphins up - and keeping off the booze is probably a good idea as self medicating is not the way to go. Most important is that you've recognised that how you feel isn't how you SHOULD be feeling.

CBT may be helpful in terms of developing strategies for recognising and dealing with low mood when it strikes. Maybe try running - a lot of people find it is good for mild-moderate depression. But don't struggle on if you don't feel right. Go back to your GP and tell them that somethings not right, and see what they suggest. There's a lot of stuff other than Prozac and it can take a bit of fine tuning to get what works for you.

It is worth getting a decent doctor who is willing to help you experiment with different ADs to help you find the right one for you. Their go-to one may not suit you.

Also, do some research and talk to others like you are doing here. I started trying SSRIs then found I was better on SNRIs. I also have a prescription of diazepam for when necessary but a single packet lasts me about 18 months.

Really, it's worth exploring as it's not necessarily a question of either on or off ADs as they vary depending on your own chemistry.

Gareth.....haven’t thought about talking therapy, but it might help.
Maggiecate...thanks for your response, that explains it about being busy. I had never thought of it like that. My job is high pressured, busy and changes constantly and I can deal with that. Forgot to say I’m also studying at home for an MA which I love. I do run already actually but have hurt my hamstring. Tomorrow I shall go on a very long power walk though!

I feel like I’m coping pretty well but it’s like I’m too aware that I’m not emotionally 100%, if that makes sense.

I have been on fluoxetrine pretty much for years 40 mg a day. And lamotrigine. I have bipolar and this works for me.
Currently I have not taken any for about a week as I stayed away longer on holiday than planned and I can feel the symptoms creeping in. Cried over neglected kittens on Facebook for ages this afternoon for instance and am having odd thoughts. I can't pick up the new prescription till 3 working days are up from requesting it so that's Tuesday. I have been cleaning all day to keep the thoughts away.
I ve tried to do without any tablets but come to the sad conclusion that I will be on them for life.

Too many paws

It has already been so useful to hear people’s experiences on here.

I have generalized anxiety disorder and have been on an antidepressant for years. If I miss a dose my anxiety ratchets up madly and my mood goes down. I cannot speak to your situation but I feel SO much better on the meds

For me, at least, anxiety is a chronic illness. It's part of another chronic illness that I have. I don't experience side effects from my meds and I function much better with them.

Reckless ruby, sorry to hea

Sorry, iPad issues.

Reckless ruby, sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I would call the GP first thing Mon morning and ask for an emergency prescription.

Also, reckless ruby, I saw a sad cat story on Twitter last week and just burst into tears.

Agnurse, glad you are feeling well. I guess for me it is working out whether I am/ will be prone to this and therefore the best course of action.

I see some people commenting about having to be on meds for life. I think one of the common misconceptions about mental illness is that the meds are just a "crutch" and that if we just made up our minds we could "get over" our illnesses.

Would you suggest that if someone just thought about it they could go off their blood pressure or diabetes medications? Maybe if their willpower was stronger they could stop taking their blood thinners too.

Mental health issues can be chronic illnesses in many cases. They can be treated but not cured. Now I have nothing against therapy. It can be very helpful. I've gone to counselling myself in the past. But it should never be the case that you consider that you're "weak" if you have to be on meds or that they're meant to be just a "crutch" until you get better.

I agree agnurse. It’s just for me, I don’t want the side effects and to be honest I just feel really annoyed with myself because I’m looking after myself in many other ways so it’s like I should be ok.

Completely irrational I know!

You may not be on the right antidepressant. There are many different ones. It took me a couple of tries to find one that worked for me.

Your brain doesn't work properly. If you were a diabetic would you feel that if you didn't eat any sugar and had a perfect diet you wouldn't need medication anymore? Some people still do. Some people need blood pressure medication even if they don't eat any salt.

It's not just you. I think we as a society need to recognize that mental illnesses aren't a personal failing. They are illnesses just the way physical illnesses are illnesses. It's estimated that 1 in 4 people will be diagnosed with a mental illness during their lifetime.

Sorry to not answer your question but can I ask @therewillbetime was the very low dose of Prozac you took, 7.5mg, in liquid form? As I thought the lowest dose in tablet form was 20mg? Many thanks.

YoucancallmeNancy - I haven't been on the pill for many years as it didn't suit me at all including affecting my moods. Have thought about beginning to take a supplement like Primrose oil and maybe a vitamin B complex tablet - there are so many on the market. I think it is Agnus Castus that is also supposedly good for mood?

Yes, Togaandsandals - it was liquid form which meant I could take the 7.5 mg dose and really taper it down gradually. I spent ages tapering even from such a small amount although I did read that your brain chemistry has to alter back to working without it.

I've been on and off ADs and have never experienced numbness or the suppression of positive emotions. I still get happy and excited easily, but when my mood dips it doesn't stay down for long or go as low. I still experience anxiety/fear even on high doses but remain calm. I've never had an issue coming off them, weaned down slowly and my mood remained stable.

I recommend reading Lost Connections by Johann Hari.

Its a fantastic work by someone that was on ADs for years.

onestepsideways- I guess our bodies react to drugs differently. I was surprised that even on such a low dose, I had side effects from withdrawal.

Franciscrawford - I shall ask my surgery about a mental health nurse - have only even seen my GP who is very lovely but spends literally five minutes with me.

Elainaelephant - thank you - shall definitely be downloading this on my kindle in a bit!

I spent a year on citalopram & whilst it helped at the time, I hated the numbness, lack of sex drive & weight gain. It was the lesser of two evils at the time.

Extensive therapy has helped me - over quite a few years. I’ve now got enough understanding of myself & various strategies for coping with those darker times. I’ve also accepted that this is me - I can ride it out until it lifts. But that’s because it doesn’t last as long as it used to. My life has been particularly difficult for the past 6 years (I’ve found a strength I didn’t know I had), which I also think has helped - bizarrely!

I’ve never suffered severe depression though - mine is reactive & has been helped by almost reprogramming my thought processes.

Getting off them wasn’t too bad - I tapered off very slowly & used Passiflora to help, which was brilliant.

Overall, though, for me - I didn’t like them one bit. Yes, they helped but I felt very little joy too - it was such a numbing of everything.....

It took me being hospitalized for a breakdown for me to acknowledge that I need medication. I still worry (a lot) about the things that caused the breakdown but medication takes edge off.

moonfacebaby -thanks for your response - can I just ask who you accessed your therapy through (ie, GP or privately).

user - sorry to hear of your breakdown; it seems though that medication has played a useful part for you.

I eventually stuck with Amitriptyline, not that the GP was happy about it. SSRIs weren't doing it and I hated the side effects. Talking therapy was helpful too.

Perhaps it would be worth you trying a tricyclic? They don't affect sex drive but can have other side effects although I've never had any.

They don't like prescribing amitryptiline as it is old fashioned and they say the side effects are awful but I never had any and it worked within days. There's no such thing as a magic pill but this was the closest thing.

Several years ago, I went through pretty tumultuous time: divorce, moving house, illness etc BUT coped pretty well. It was almost a case of the more I had going on, the better I coped.

OP, I mean this very kindly - but this is ringing alarm bells for me. I went through some horrendous stuff about 4 years ago (I'll get too upset if I go into details) and I kept going through adrenaline and because I had to (connected to my child). I collapsed afterwards. Your body can only survive in "fight or flight" mode for so long, and the longer you keep going like that, the worse the eventual consequences can be.

There is nothing major in my life that is bad and I have lots of positives in my life - nice home, job (very stressful but work with good bunch of people)
This is also flagging alarm bells for me. I remember being told that I was having panic attacks, after I thought I had a heart problem. The doctor asked if I had been stressed at all and I said "No. Well, I finished with my long-term partner, moved house and changed jobs, but I've coped fine with it." The look the doctor gave me was priceless! May I recommend reading "Depressive illness, the curse of the strong" by Dr Tim Cantopher - I have a feeling that you are someone who is too strong too often.

With regard to ADs - I have been on many, many different types. Some turned me into a zombie, some made me exhausted, some just did nothing at all. I have finally settled on Mirtazapine which are taken at night, so any side-effects aren't noticed.