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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dd going out

54 replies

Igetboredeasily · 01/09/2018 16:44

Hello everyone.
We have recently moved and we are living next door to these two girls who are sisters and both seventeen years old. They are rebellious and have got up to bad things in the past. However, my dd (9 yrs) has become quite chummy with them. The two girls keep asking my dd out to town with them and I always say no as I'm anxious that she won't be looked after. The two seventeen-year-olds say I'm old-fashioned and need to stop being so overprotective.
AIBU and should I let my dd out in town with the two teens and loosen up?
TIA

OP posts:
Charolais · 01/09/2018 17:22

Tell them to fuck off and for gods sake keep your child away from them.

GreyGardens88 · 01/09/2018 17:24

Bit odd and YANBU. Looking back to when I was 17 I couldn't imagine wanting to hang out with a 9 year old Confused

cariadlet · 01/09/2018 17:25

This reply has been deleted

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Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 01/09/2018 17:25

You’ll decide in a few months?!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/09/2018 17:26

They sound very presumptuous.
How often does DD see them? I would be curbing contact straight away with them in your shoes OP.

Lizzie48 · 01/09/2018 17:28

Like one PP, I'm suspecting that they might be wanting to manipulate your DD into shoplifting for them. It sounds as if your DD really loves being with them and she'd probably do whatever they ask her to do.

I have a 9 year old DD, there's no way I'd allow this.

ChikiTIKI · 01/09/2018 17:34

I am shocked they called you old fashioned and over protective. Did they say this to you directly? How cheeky!

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 01/09/2018 17:35

My dd is nearly 17 and no way would her or her friends want to hang out with a 9 yr old. Something definitely fishy, especially as you say their mother doesn't seem to care about them Shock Sign of the times or not, the first thing I thought of was those girls kidnapping the kid in primark.

premiertav · 01/09/2018 17:37

Jamie Bulger rings to mind

Erm, why?

I am probably over reacting, No, No, No!

Not shit Hmm

HashTagLil · 01/09/2018 17:48

I was also going to suggest shoplifting. They may think she won't get into any trouble.

Nanny0gg · 01/09/2018 17:50

The two seventeen-year-olds say I'm old-fashioned and need to stop being so overprotective

I wouldn't be taking parenting advice from a couple of 17 year-olds.

Floaty2018 · 01/09/2018 17:50

No way!

Jaxhog · 01/09/2018 17:51

NO! Why on earth would 2 17 year olds want to spend time with a 9 year old for? They aren't related or baby sitting, which would be the only valid reason.

SuperstarDJ · 01/09/2018 17:52

Not a chance.

It sounds odd. When I was 17 the last thing I’d have wanted was a 9yr old tagging along.

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 01/09/2018 18:18

Not a chance in hell would that have been ok when my dd was 9. Why in God's name would 17yr olds want a young child hanging around? I'd be highly suspicious!

imtired1butmykidsarent · 01/09/2018 18:21

no, i think you are completely right. try to encourage your DD to play with some different kids as well, that are closer to her age range. 17 and 9 is a big age gap.

viques · 01/09/2018 18:30

upsideup the situations that you describe are very different, siblings know each other for a start! The older sibling will understand about caring for a younger child, acting responsibly and will be mindful of parental wrath if they forget to bring the younger one home, or bring her home upset or injured . Similarly members of a dance troupe or other activity will have a close relationship, will probably be organised and have feelings of responsibility towards each other and will have built up a degree of trust over several years. Also 12 and 13 year olds have more in common with 11 year olds than random 17 years olds do.

These are new neighbours, who do not have a very good reputation and have no reason at all to befriend a much younger child, let alone take her out. As others have said I would suspect they want to use her for cover for shoplifting .

viques · 01/09/2018 18:33

Sorry, 9 year old, not 11.

Even more reason to doubt their motives. 9 years old is below the legal age when a child can be charged with an offence (I think) if they are shoplifting guess who will be carrying the goods if they are picked up?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/09/2018 18:34

Strange. I have twin 17 year old girls and the only time they're with 9 year olds is if they're being paid to babysit them! They certainly wouldn't be interested in hanging out.

And I really can't imagine them telling a neighbour that they're old fashioned and over protective Shock

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 01/09/2018 18:42

I used to take my mum's friends 9 year old and 4 year old out shopping with me sometimes at that age. I liked babysitting them and took a bit of an auntie/big sister role with them. It was good fun. I was considering childcare as a career at that point.

These two don't sound very mature though so on those grounds I wouldn't let them.

Sparklesocks · 01/09/2018 18:46

I remember being 17 and wouldn’t want a 9 year old hanging around me, it seems quite odd!

HopelessWanderer · 01/09/2018 19:14

At 9 I would query why two 17 year olds wanted my daughters company. It might just be them being nice, feeling like they're giving your daughter freedom of some sort. She is 9 though, I think I was 10 or 11 decades ago before I went down town without a parent.

Everyoneiswingingit · 01/09/2018 20:01

No I wouldn't. I have a 17 yr old DD and there is no way she would want to be hanging out with a 9 yr old. It suggests an inappropriate interest to me.I would steer clear.

WittyFuck · 01/09/2018 21:48

Why would you take any notice of a cheeky pair of madams? Not in a hundred years would I even allow her to be ‘friends ‘ with them. Why would two off the rail teens hang around with a kiddie? Not for any good reason.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 01/09/2018 21:53

You'll decide in a few months?! Confused