To ask my neighbour to clean up her garden? (WIBU)

[RavenLG]

More of a WIBU as I've not acted on anything yet.

Our first summer in the house, NDN has an apple tree close to our side of the fence approx 15 feet from the house. Don't mind the tree, in fact we've been taking advantage of low hanging branches on our side. The problem is, the apples falling in her garden aren't being picked up. I don't even think the apples that fell last year have been picked up. There are flies EVERYWHERE. We can't open our dining room window without loads coming in. Wasps are starting to hang around and we had to keep an eye on some looking like they we're trying to make a nest in our roof.

Now we've never actually met ndn. Seen her once, actually only yesterday when her daughter was bringing her come from somewhere. I'd guess she is early 90s. When we have spoken to her 40ish year old son when we first moved in, he said he stays over most weekends, and her 50ish year old daughter comes over I'd say most days.

I'm not expecting her to clean them up obviously, but WIBU to ask them to clear them up? I know its her garden, she can do what she wants etc.. but it's getting ridiculous with the flies and the wasps, and being a massive snob too, it looks horrendous from the back bedroom. The area around the tree is paved and it's literally a block of rotten brown apples.

I'm not convinced the flies will be coming from the apples - wasps yes, but flies no. Mind you you lost me when you objected to how it looked, that's none of your buisness.

Offer to pick them up and then put them in your own compost bin, rotten apples make fantastic compost, the worms love them!

I don’t think you’re being that unreasonable. I’ve just cut down 3 apple trees as we couldn’t keep on top of the maintenance (don’t flame me, I’m gutted).
Fallen rotten apples stink when there are a lot of them! I can’t stand the smell of rotting apples now, after 8 years of dealing with them.
If you can get in early enough, there may be a local group making apple juice (we have a co-op society doing this locally, and also apple cider vinegar) who would be grateful for the apples. Knock on when her kids are there and ask :)

I would be worried about the flies and what's attracting them, we have windfalls which aren't picked up as I leave them for the birds, they don't attract flies. Are they house flies, or fruit flies that you're seeing, OP?

You don't need to worry about wasp's nests as wrong time of year for them to be building new nests, the nest start to die off now.

Ah, I didn't realise you'd have to go through the house. In that case, I'd go for a friendly chat with the son, if you can manage to bump into him. Just say there's something bad out back and there are a lot of flies and wasps. I had a similar chat with my elderly neighbor recently. There was a huge wasps nest on the side of his house, but it wasn't possible to see it from his garden. I just mentioned it to him casually and he sorted it out that day.

Can you actually see in the garden? It might be a dead fox or something.

My NDNs have caused bad issues with me by wanting full control over how my gardens look and it’s even worse because I’m seriously ill. If they knew then they probably wouldn’t be hassling me. As PPs have said she’s very old and her family might not be able to help her. You never know what’s going on in people’s lives and if her garden isn’t bringing down the price of your house then just ignore it. My other NDNs have a garden full of horrendous dog shit 24/7 but I’ve learnt to ignore it since the council won’t do anything!

Who cuts her grass? Could they also pick the apples up? They would need to anyway.

I know the grass hasn't grown much this year, but I would have thought it needed doing once or twice at least or is the grass overgrown too.

I think you're going to have to talk to her children about a solution, the main barrier to doing it yourself, if you are willing/able to being that you can't get in her garden without going through her house and she doesn't answer the door. Maybe go round when you know the children are there, and either pick up the apples then, or arrange to go at a different time. She may answer the door if she is expecting you.

You saw the garden before you bought the house, did you know you would have an elderly NDN? I think YABU, you chose the house and so chose to live next door to a fruit tree, now live with it, apples fall off trees, if they don't get picked up so what? If you're not going to go round and say you find it a problem that a tree has dropped its fruit then live with it. I can't see how flies are a problem in your house from these apples, if you have an infestation of flies then that is caused by something else.

I have a twattish neighbour who wants to control what I grow and how I maintain it, complains all the bloody time about my lovely garden. I've found him over my side of the fence cutting my plants down, moaning about birds singing in my plum trees before cutting them down and chopping the branches of HIS apple tree which overhangs my garden to prevent my family picking apples from it. Leave your neighbour's garden and apples alone.

I'd put a note in to say "On saturday we are going to be doing a lot of tidying up of our garden, mulching leaves etc. Would you like us to come round and do your's while we're about it, we can pick up any windfall, mow your grass, any other gardening jobs you've got while we have the tools out" or something along those lines.

That way you're not specifically complaining about a certain thing and you are offering her some general assistance. That's much more likely to be accepted and you won't make her feel bad about her garden.

You can take apples to cooperatives where they make cider. Best part is you get a share of the cider. I'd check if there are any of these near you. Also making crumble etc and handing it in would be a lovely gesture.

'Hello--good to see you again, NDN's Son of Indeterminate Age. I've been wondering whether your mother might allow me to take the apples that have fallen into her garden? It's just that they'd be a great addition to my compost heap, so if she doesn't mind . . . '