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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my neighbour to clean up her garden? (WIBU)

63 replies

RavenLG · 01/09/2018 12:13

More of a WIBU as I've not acted on anything yet.

Our first summer in the house, NDN has an apple tree close to our side of the fence approx 15 feet from the house. Don't mind the tree, in fact we've been taking advantage of low hanging branches on our side. The problem is, the apples falling in her garden aren't being picked up. I don't even think the apples that fell last year have been picked up. There are flies EVERYWHERE. We can't open our dining room window without loads coming in. Wasps are starting to hang around and we had to keep an eye on some looking like they we're trying to make a nest in our roof.

Now we've never actually met ndn. Seen her once, actually only yesterday when her daughter was bringing her come from somewhere. I'd guess she is early 90s. When we have spoken to her 40ish year old son when we first moved in, he said he stays over most weekends, and her 50ish year old daughter comes over I'd say most days.

I'm not expecting her to clean them up obviously, but WIBU to ask them to clear them up? I know its her garden, she can do what she wants etc.. but it's getting ridiculous with the flies and the wasps, and being a massive snob too, it looks horrendous from the back bedroom. The area around the tree is paved and it's literally a block of rotten brown apples.

OP posts:

bellinisurge · 01/09/2018 13:11

She's an old lady! Offer to pick up the apples. Currently making some apple butter from apples a colleague brought in from their garden. Or make apple cider vinegar. Or chutney. Really jealous of this fab nearby resource you have. Or a sour dough starter.
There'll still be some that are good and you'd be doing her a favour.

Tartyflette · 01/09/2018 13:24

We have several apple trees and pick up the best windfalls but leave the rest they provide food for birds like fieldfares, redwings, starlings, blackbirds and thrushes during the autumn and early winter. polishes green halo--They're all gone by the spring. Woodpeckers sometimes go through them too looking for insects.
There are far more wasps on the plums! Their numbers seem to have rocketed recently and as PP have said there's not a lot you can do about it. They will be gone in a few weeks. In the meantime - wasp traps?

Tartyflette · 01/09/2018 13:25

polishes green halo. Sheesh.

cheesemongery · 01/09/2018 13:27

I had 3 apple trees in my old house, a lot of fruit fell and was inedible as it had been gotten to first by birds or bugs - the fruit never attracted flies though, maybe wasps but the birds loved it.

Are you sure there isn't a carcass of some sort nearby? Hopefully not your neighbour!!

tempester28 · 01/09/2018 13:29

To be honest if she is 90 I would just offer to do it - so you could get rid of flies ect. Probably her son ought to do but.....however I would just say we have had lots of flies bugs and wasps in our garden and our garden and the neighbors are clean and tidy. But obviously apples will attract more

Original poster

RavenLG · 01/09/2018 13:30

Op you've taken some criticism well
Lol, thanks. It's nice to have someone to open your eyes when you're being a twat lol.

Will try and draft a very polite note to see if we can clear some up for them. It's just awkward cos we can't get into her garden without going through the house. And she has sliding doors out into the garden so i imagine so will be watching lol.

OP posts:

Raver84 · 01/09/2018 13:35

It's her garden leave her to it. Such a pointless thing to potentially fall out over.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 01/09/2018 13:36

I think I would go down the route of maybe speaking to one of her children along the lines 'I see there are a lot of apples on/falling from the tree - it does seem a waste - could I collect them and make something with them? Obviously will give your mother some crumble/pie/jelly/whatever'.

Birdsgottafly · 01/09/2018 13:36

""Ok my maths was off there lol. They're not in their 60s so she is obviously younger in ill health which is obviously awful. ""

If the Son is in his 40's, she will still be in her 80's, how well do you expect people to be in their 80's?

Don't put a note through, wait to see one of them.

8misskitty8 · 01/09/2018 13:40

Our neighbour has an apple tree and I don’t think she ever uses the apples as there’s always loads on the ground. Doesn’t seem to cause flies or anything, are you sure it’s not something else attracting the flies ?

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/09/2018 13:40

Raver
What is there to fall out over?

WindyWednesday · 01/09/2018 13:43

My fil is in his 80’s and his son is in his 30’s, so makes sense a 90 yr old could have a 40 ish yr old.

My NDN is in 90’s with children in 50’s.

kaytee87 · 01/09/2018 13:44

@WindyWednesday it's usually easier for men to have children in their 50s than it is for women ...

Charley50 · 01/09/2018 13:45

My mum's 90 and I'm 48. We actually have a similar issue with a neighbour. I just clear them up myself (and take nice ones for crumble).

Jaxhog · 01/09/2018 13:45

I have a horrible feeling it isn't the apples that are attracting the flies and wasps, although it is peak time for them at the moment. By all means pop a note through her letterbox, offering to clear her garden a bit. But I'd have a word with her son and check it isn't anything else.

If it really is a bad as your OP suggests, then a call to Envrionmental Health might also be in order.

WindyWednesday · 01/09/2018 13:47

That’s isn’t my point. Early 80’s and late 30’s. Both pil are same age.

kaytee87 · 01/09/2018 13:48

Op said ndn is in her early 90s (so 90-94) and son around 40 (so 38-42). It's just unlikely.

WindyWednesday · 01/09/2018 13:48

Thanks Charley. Not everyone has children in their 20’s. Perfectly
Possible. Both myself and Charley have confirmed this
,

Bobbybear10 · 01/09/2018 13:52

We have and had (before we moved) a fairly large orchard and do have a reasonable amount of windfalls even though we try to pick the fruit as soon as it is ready.

Are you sure the flies are from that? Honestly we have never noticed any increase in flies. Wasps might be an issue but if you have any wood, flowers, sweet stuff in your garden they will be just as attracted to that.

I would check to make sure the flies are not from something else.

kaytee87 · 01/09/2018 13:52

i realise that. My gran had her children in her 30s (unusual at the time) she's now in her 90s and my mum is 61...

Original poster

RavenLG · 01/09/2018 13:52

how well do you expect people to be in their 80's?
My grandad is in his 80s and is fighting fit so I suppose it varies tbh, it's a shame when anyone is in poor health tbh.

Anyway not getting hung up on their ages, I do think it's the apples. Some of them we're not cleared up from last summer (we found loads in our hedge that were sopping and mouldy in spring after the snow went away) and you can see how brown and moldy they are so it's definitely in the realms of possibility that rotting food is attracting flies. We want to work out where the flies are coming from. It's not a normal amount of flies. Out the front is fine, so it's something in the back and clearing rotten apples personally is my first point of call.

Will try and catch the son this weekend, if not will pop a note in through the week.

Thanks for the input.

OP posts:

BigBlueBubble · 01/09/2018 13:53

I’d be annoyed if it was a young healthy neighbour, but an old lady in ill health is different. Offer to clear up and ask if next year the kids can pick the apples before they fall.

ChikiTIKI · 01/09/2018 13:54

I would try and catch one of her children and say "do you mind if I pick up the apples because of the wasps, I don't mean to be rude just want to be helpful".

alardi · 01/09/2018 13:55

NU to explain to the adult offspring the problems the rotting apples are causing you & can you help them find a solution. I'm sure you can approach them in a way that will be well-received.

ChikiTIKI · 01/09/2018 13:57

Can you not get to the garden by sliding up a fence panel? Or is it a fixed fence?

If the panels could slide up I would talk to the son, say I will clear them up tomorrow unless when you ask your mum she isn't happy, in which case let me know.

Good luck!!

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