Partner's mum making me confirm her other son is just as handsome?

[namecha]

Someone please tell me how you'd have responded, I felt extremely awkward and didn't really know how to respond!

Been with my partner 4 months. Finally visiting his family for this evening - Monday morning. They live a few hours away which is why it hasn't really been any sooner.

They all seem lovely. My partner has 1 brother who I haven't met yet, he is at university!! He's 20. I'm almost 30 (partner 31)...

She got out a lot of photos to show me and we got to one of him and his brother and she strait away went "aren't they handsome" and I smiled. I assumed it would be left there. Then she goes "well, you obviously find (son 1) attractive, but isn't (son 2) just as handsome?" I again just smiled. I didn't know what to say? She then kept going "isn't he?"

I honestly have absolutely no idea what the appropriate way to respond was, so would like to know what you think?

CoughLaughFart well she can call him anything, but ‘partner’ after four months sounds a bit premature.

But your view on this isn’t really relevant.

@Theredcape678 it depends on what the individual couple have agreed. If they have both decided they are "partners" then they are and it is no-one else’s business

I just think a ‘partner’ is someone you’ve been with long term... I would cringe if my boyfriend of a few months called me his partner! Obviously just me though, fair enough!

@Theredcape678
“CoughLaughFart well she can call him anything, but ‘partner’ after four months sounds a bit premature. Surely that’s someone you’re dating or a boyfriend after that short amount of time?!”

My Mam and dad got married after seeing each other for 3 months and have just had their 46th wedding anniversary, and are blissfully happy.
Shall I telly them you said they’re doing it all wrong? Some people ......

Okay clearly I was weird to have found it awkward

I honestly have absolutely no idea what the appropriate way to respond was, so would like to know what you think?

I think when she said, "aren't they handsome," you should have said, "yes, very handsome."

If you had said yes the first time she asked, she probably wouldn't have pressed.

I had no clue there was a dating time difference between boyfriend and partner ???
I've done "I love you boyfriend " after 3 days and current lover/partner/ OH. took 6 months ( 10 years married)

Or you could have said ‘Eurgh, no! What w munter!’ Fun if nothing else.

I think of a boyfriend is someone you are dating, a partner is someone you live with but haven’t married.
But as to the question, “yes, he looks lovely “ .

I'd bang him like a storm door in a hurricane

Yeah. I'd ride him like Seabiscuit

Lick the picture

love these.

They live a few hours away which is why it hasn't really been any sooner. You've only been seeing each other for 4 months!

Anyway, she's a proud mum, nothing weird.

Isn't a boyfriend a partner?

He's just a boyfriend. You've just met his DM.

I genuinely thought ‘partner’ was the term when you lived together?

Although to be fair the OP hasn’t said they’re not living together!

You are making too much of your boyfriend's mother's comment. She was talking about the baby of the family so cut her some slack.

so what exactly was the aibu ? i don't get it

I’d have found that really weird too, why keep asking you?

Presumably if OP had answered the first time, she wouldn't have kept asking. I must say, I can't see why OP couldn't have just said "Yes" and moved on.

The proud mother wasn’t asking you to fuck the younger brother!! - just to admire the photo

She got out a lot of photos to show me and we got to one of him and his brother and she strait away went "aren't they handsome" and I smiled. I assumed it would be left there.

This. Easy enough to reply yes to without any awkwardness.

I think it’s weird she then carried on about his brother after that, tbh.

I would have just said yes? No big deal.

She sounds like she's talking about a 4 year old, not a 20 year old.

But the op did say yes, albeit in a nonverbal way, I am totally with the op on this. I think it’s really weird to keep asking for confirmation that her other son is attractive, why does she care? If my mum were to keep asking my sister’s boyfriend if he thought I was attractive, I’d be mortified 😂😂

Smiling isn't saying "yes". Mostly it's saying "I don't want to commit myself".

""I’d have found that really weird too, why keep asking you?""

Because the OP didn't answer. That's what should happen during a conversation, not one person making it awkward by just smiling.

""She sounds like she's talking about a 4 year old, not a 20 year old.""

It probably didn't cross her mind that it would be taken that she was making it sexual. To her it probably was a perfectly innocent observation.

She's proud of her Sons. OP, why didn't it occur to you to just say yes?

How about “very handsome, I can’t wait for the threesome”