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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to tell me if you’ve ever had a bad vibe from someone and been proven right?

78 replies

ethelfleda · 31/08/2018 20:56

Have you ever met someone and felt that something wasn’t right with them? That they give off a bad vibe or get your spidey senses tingling? But you can’t quite figure out why? And then been proven right?

I’m asking because I’ve had this with a new co-worker (and experienced it before and been proved right)

I’m just curious to see if any of you have a sixth sense about such people!

OP posts:
PickledElectricity · 31/08/2018 20:57

Always. I'm trying to listen to myself more, just not tell people how I'm feeling.

Cat2lady · 31/08/2018 21:01

Yeah, I wasn’t keen on a friend of a friend. There was always drama in her life, I felt a lot of it was attention seeking and she was playing on my friend’s good nature... she got caught out in the end.

MintedLamb · 31/08/2018 21:01

Only once, was a fleeting encounter with a friends bf and I just shrugged it off. A year later she left him after being emotionally and physically abused by him.

bandthenjust · 31/08/2018 21:04

Oh god yeah. The wor st was my bil's ex girlfriend. I'd met her for the first time, not heard anything about her prior. BIL announced she was pregnant, and the first thing out of my gob 'is the baby bil's?' One of the most awkward situations I'd ever been it, don't know WHY I said it, I just verbal diarrhoea 'd...

Baby weren't hi s.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 31/08/2018 21:05

Always. I'm trying to listen to myself more, just not tell people how I'm feeling

This is my current approach. Guard up, don’t say anything but just observe!

OP posts:
RebeccaCloud9 · 31/08/2018 21:05

Yes our IT man at work (in a school) always seemed dodgy, then I caught him looking at my holiday photos from my computer on his own - I think he'd copied them - and complained but nothing was ever really done about him as he hadn't done anything strictly/provably wrong at the time. He is now in prison for being a predatory paedophile.

MrsMozart · 31/08/2018 21:08

Yes, though it took a few years to become a thing. Horrible. Wish I'd listened to myself, though oddly did have some good times during that period and at times I doubted what my gut had told me.

RebeccaCloud9 · 31/08/2018 21:10

Just googled him. He's out of prison and now working freelance Envy (obvs not envy)

bandthenjust · 31/08/2018 21:10

rebeccacloud9 urgh god! Reading that made my skin crawl.
I remember watching the intial interview with Ian Huntley. I think I was about 14 at the time, and as soon as I clocked him I thought 'he did it'. Pretty sure it's been proven that some people pick up on things like minute body language than others. Nothing supernatural, just some are more sensitive.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 31/08/2018 21:13

My ddog hated my neighbour.
He turned out to be a murderer.
Have you got a ddog you can take to work?

Boyskeepswinging · 31/08/2018 21:14

Absolutely. Have yet to be proven wrong about my first impression of someone, despite me often trying my very best to get along with them (BIL, colleagues etc) when my spidey senses are twitching.
I once started a job after my instinct told me to run a mile from my potential new boss at the interview (was desperate for a job, any job at the time). No surprise to learn that new boss turned out to be a complete nightmare and I left after a couple of months. Since then, if something doesn't feel right at an interview I walk away. It's not worth the aggro.

HemanOrSheRa · 31/08/2018 21:15

Yes all the time. I work with people in their homes. I've done it for over 25 years and never ignore that spidey sense that something is off. We don't always get full information on people initially but 100% of the time I am right. It might take a while for info to reach us or for the person to show who they are.

dangermouseisace · 31/08/2018 21:23

Yes.

Best example...whilst working for local authority a vulnerable clients partner set off my something is not quite right alarm. There was no concrete reason for this, but I told my manager and he said well it might be worth checking him out, as he believed in trusting your instincts (to an extent).

Turned out he was a convicted pedophile.

dangermouseisace · 31/08/2018 21:24

Ps not saying your co worker is a pedophile!!!

Hidillyho · 31/08/2018 21:26

Yes, my colleague (same position as me in another branch). I disliked him from the start. He ended up becoming my manager (god knows how he got the promotion) and ended up bullying myself and the rest of my colleagues (he even hit one of them). Took the company 18-months to get rid of him but he sure did make a lot of people ill in that 18 months with stress. Even thinking about him gives me the rage

Namethecat · 31/08/2018 21:27

When I was much,much younger I used to walk to work. Had to go through a housing estate and would often see a creepy man that would leer at any young girl going past. A good few years later he was stabbed to death by his daughters husband when she broke down and told him she was sexually abused by him as a young girl.

FetchezLaVache · 31/08/2018 21:28

Yes, a friend of DSis, who had done nothing wrong, in fact she was unfailingly generous and helpful when DSis was seriously ill, but I couldn't help feeling that there was something ruthless about her, somehow.

Not long afterwards, she treated DSis to a weekend away in a naice spa hotel, ostensibly to celebrate her recovery but neglecting to mention that she had also invited her married lover, on purpose to use DSis as a cover for her affair.

Hassled · 31/08/2018 21:31

Only ever once - and that was less of a spidey sense and more just immediately clocking the guy was a nasty piece of work. I don't know why I realised it so quickly with this bloke, where usually it might take a few meetings (if on the surface they seem relatively normal, say all the right things etc).

Vicky1990 · 31/08/2018 21:32

Yes, Jeremy Corbyn.
Always had a bad vibe about him as soon as he came on the scene, now look how that is turning out, Just not to be trusted.
I think his connection with the IRA was the give away.

Nagsnovalballs · 31/08/2018 21:35

Fetchez, did the dh get off on the basis that it was self defence (even though he burned the body to get rid of it)?

Piffpaffpoff · 31/08/2018 21:41

Boyskeepswinging I had the same experience, really wanted the job so rationalised away the terrible vibes I had got from the boss In the interview. Biggest career mistake ever, it all went pear shaped and took a long time to recover from, both personally and professionally. I listen to my gut 100% now.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2018 21:44

More times than I can count. I ALWAYS trust my instincts and intuition.

Pigletpoglet · 31/08/2018 21:46

Yep. Spidey senses tingling hugely on first meeting. He was later horribly violent to his partner, and had form from a previous relationship.

percypig · 31/08/2018 21:48

Years ago I went to meet a prospective new childminder at her house. The house was a little messy, but she said all the right things etc, there was nothing I could put my finger on, in fact objectively she seemed a perfect fit. A couple of hours later my husband came home from work, he’d mentioned to one of his colleagues that I was meeting the childminder that morning and his colleague straight away said ‘Do not under any circumstances leave your children with her.’ Turned out he was somehow related to her and knew lots of things which confirmed my feelings.

I ended up going with a childminder who on paper was a terrible candidate - non-native English speaker, v different faith and cultural background, house v different from ours, in an inconvenient area of the town for both our house and my commute - but my boys were v happy with her for almost 2 years until I was off on mat leave again.

Notwhoyouthink35 · 31/08/2018 21:48

Yes, several times. I always listen to my gut instinct now.

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