to have just realised I'm incredibly ugly?

[magicleek]

I turn 29 tomorrow and I'm feeling really down about it. Not just that is the last year of my twenties but me and my ex split up last month - it was mutual but he's moved on already and I'm alone.
We were together for 10 years - I had a few boyfriends before but nothing serious so I thought he was the one but now I've found myself single and alone and I have realised my looks have faded, make up doesn't sit on my face the way it used to, I've got crappy skin, I've put on weight I think I was just so comfortable with him I really let myself go and didn't notice until I went out with some friends last night, I looked awful in the pictures, like I really stood out as the ugly one which I've never noticed before, all my friends were going on at me about finding someone else but after seeing the pictures I think my chances are pretty slim and they posted them on facebook. I just wanted to cry!!!

Shut yer face. Course you're not!!!

Can U post a pic?

This is very normal end of relationship blues!

You need a haircut, a new face cream and to get out and about. You’re allowed approx 2 months of getting drunk, eating and ugly crying about how you’re ugly and you’re going to be alone forever before you do the above.

I think you may be better concentrating on doing things to make you happy. Whatever that is it could be keep fit ( I don’t suppose they call it that now) but that will get you fit and feeling better about yourself. If you are happier everything else will slot into place. You may have to try a few things by yourself so be prepared to go out of your comfort zone. Good luck

hugs I doubt you're ugly. Insecure, yes.

I felt shit until i lost a stone, now I'm feeling more like myself. I'm sure you're not as bad as you think, but if you really do feel you need to change then there's a start

You’re not ugly, you’re sad. You need a Gwyneth Paltrow ‘Sliding Doors’ new haircut and some self-care💐

I split with my ex of 8 years at 29, it was my decision, we weren't compatible anymore. I could have written your post at the time of my split. By the time I was 35 I had lost some weight, found a new hobby, had 2 kids a lovely home and a fabulous DH and were still together 10 years later - you never know whats round the corner.

You poor thing. I just turned 29 after a very nasty relationship breakup – it's not for the fainthearted! I've decided to really go for life this year – fitness, joining clubs, working on my writing project – to help myself feel better.

I have difficult skin too, and I'm getting on well with some products from The Ordinary. The glycolic acid solution has massively helped my spots and given me a sort of glow. Maybe take a look?

I'm sure you're actually gorgeous though – we're so hard on ourselves.

You met your former boyfriend ten years ago. The people you’ll be dating in the future are also older and heavier than their younger selves. Time changes everyone; be kind to yourself. x

I agree with chesty.

I'm kid you are not ugly. You are a beautiful woman. You've just had a big blow and a knock of confidence.

Sure* not kid (fucking autocorrect)

I would bet a reasonable sum of money that you are not ugly, and I am decidedly not a betting person and wouldn't even buy a Lottery ticket!

However I completely understand the feelings - my relationship ended last month, it wasn't mutual and it was a couple of days before our wedding. And I am 49, old enough to be your mother!!!

I second the haircut, nice moisturiser, making a list of things and people that make you feel good about yourself and happy. How we see ourselves in the mirror is inevitably coloured by how we're feeling inside.

This is so normal, many people experience this when a long term relationship ends. You tend to become comfortable and feel secure within the relationship so none of this matters then suddenly you’re single and it makes you feel incredibly vulnerable and insecure. It’s simultaneously normal when you’re close to the big 3-0 to feel this way.

Maybe a different style of make up would sit differently? Maybe you could do with some new clothes? A new hair style/colour? That often helps people feel better about themselves. I’m certain you’re not ugly.

Please be kind to yourself. You are not ugly, you are feeling vulnerable and down at the moment, but not ugly.

It is accepted custom after a breakup, to get a new hairstyle, a makeover, do a bit of gym work and treat yourself to new clothes!

It happens to everyone. I remember it quite clearly. Pre break up I’d think, yes, I’m looking hot, but after being dumped I’d think, what’s wrong with me? I must be ugly but I’ve been fooling myself all these years!

It passes. Be nice to yourself.

I am ugly. I've always been ugly. Had some surgery to correct a facial defect 25 at and the surgeon said 'Why do you need it you are married, you don't need to be attractive now?'. When I was 14 a grotty boy asked me 'what's it like to be as ugly as you are?'. So I've always known.

I've been single for 12 years and will never have another relationship but it doesn't bother me so much now. I don't hate my face. Now I'm older at 53 I don't even mind it.

I would say mostly you have lost confidence in yourself and you don't like what you see in photos or the mirror. You can change that by learning to like you. I am sure you are a lovely person and I'm sure you have a lovely face, most people do.

If your friend put on the same amount of weight you had would you think they were ugly and would be single for ever? Same for if their face has aged a bit (after all we all age unless we turn to Botox!)? Don’t be so harsh on yourself, it’s early days and break ups are hard

If you're kind and you smile, you can never be ugly. True fact!

This...

Long hot bath. Moisturising face mask and good skincare routine in place now to see you into your 30s.
Haircut.
Exercise for the endorphins.

Bet you look great. But you'll look even better when you start believing it and allow yourself to be happy in your skin.

mitch that surgeon was an utter wanker I bet you're not ugly. Teenage boys are vile, take no notice of that. Teenage boys have called me ugly and I might not be a cover girl but I'm definitely not ugly. They just say it to get a reaction.

OP you aren't ugly. I don't believe in ugly anyway, except in people with ugly personalities. I hope you start to find yourself again soon.

Happy birthday we have the same birthday 😊
No such thing as ugly and weight can be lost. Your break up will be contributing to your insecurities. Hugs and flowers and birthday cake to you!

Awww @magicleek don't put yourself down x
It happens to so many people. Cry it out. It helps. You will feel better and can make some little changes to make you feel better. I second the hot bath and add to it some nice face mask. I felt shit about my hair this month so I got 3 minute miracle mask on today and feel so much better
Baby steps x

I dunno OP - you might be "ugly" (I hate that term) or you might not be.

I don't know whether to believe you - because I have a sister who seems to sincerely believe she is useless and ugly - and she really, really objectively is not. She's incredibly attractive and lovely.

I know that in photos of yourself you can see things that other people don't see. You notice your bad parts, if that makes sense.

I do know that I know and love many people who are not conventionally attractive - because they are nice people to be around - interesting, funny, kind, witty, intelligent, shared interests - whatever - or just have that lovely human gift that some have to uplift others.

You can lose some weight and embark on a skincare/exercise/healthy eating regime if it makes you feel better for photos and give you a bit more confidence. Go for it, and just start enjoying doing the things you enjoy.