To argue with DS over school shoes?

[heavymetalheatherhead]

DS is 8. His school have a fairly relaxed uniform policy re: footwear. Shoes or trainers, in black white or grey.
He wants to wear trainers for school. I want him to wear shoes. I took him to get measured in Clark's, but he claimed every pair of shoes he tried on were uncomfortable. He wouldn't go for their trainers either (apart from
the really sporty colourful ones that he wouldn't be allowed.
We then tried Kickers, Geox. None were comfy, apparently.
Nike trainers? Perfectly comfy
In my head, he should be wearing proper leather, measured for school shoes, or his feet will end up deformed. In my head, allowing him
To wear trainers all the time is bad parenting. But the thing is, he is allowed to wear trainers for school. So why am I getting so worked up about it?! To be fair to me, another issue is the fact that he destroys footwear, so he really needs sturdy stuff, but really good quality trainers would do the job.
Talk some sense into me please!

Meh. Trainers are more comfy.. I'd just let him tbh

How is it bad parenting to buy him shoes that are comfortable in his feet?

Started last year buying my son black trainers for school. Fed up for first 3 years at school constantly having to replace shoes because they were ruined. But manages to look after his trainers so much better. (Probably because they are comfier and he gets to wear the ones he likes.)

He's 8. He'll have outgrown his trainers just as soon as he'll have worn them out. I would buy trainers but not nikes.
Girl's shoes tend to be far more damaging than boys shoes.

Avoid shoes that have hard stiff uppers, like hard synthetics and patent leather, or no arch support, such as
ballerinas, 'converse', 'uggs'.

You might find something you both agree on on happylittlesoles.co.uk.

My daughter found all the big brand school shoes too rigid and uncomfortable to wear. I would have been so relieved if she could have worn trainers. I think they are better for your feet - definitely far more comfortable and good for running around in the playground. I would let him wear what feels best.

I started buying shoe trainers as they fit my Ds far better than Clark’s shoes which they ended up putting insoles in to make them fit

My son wears Clark's trainers. They're comfy, waterproof and you can stick them in the machine. What's not to like?

His feet will end up deformed in trainers? Wow... many of us must have fucked up feet then!

Trainers are so comfortable it’s untrue, I know many business people who wear them on the commute then change into restrictive shoes once they arrive. Shoes aren’t comfortable, let’s face it.

What's wrong with trainers? They're perfect for playing, he has the rest of his life to wear neat shoes.

I did say talk some sense into me, didn't I?! Growing up I had "sensible shoes" through my whole childhood, so that's we're my oddness comes from, I suppose.
I don't entirely believe him either, though. He knows what he wants, nothing else fits right. Hmmmm.
I will get him trainers. I'm fighting a losing battle and for what benefit? At least the school are laid back about it (so I should be too!)

I insist on proper shoes from Clarks for school. There are several pairs that Clarks claim are shoes but I class them as trainers. There are about 3 styles that I deem to actually be shoes so my 2 boys have to choose out of those. They have both had each style a number of times. Their school does say shoes but several children wear what I would class as trainers but I make mine wear shoes.

My eldest has slight SEN and sometimes doesn't fancy a pair of shoes so will say they don't fit or that they hurt. I tell him he'll have to wear his old shoes then as he needs to choose a pair from the styles I class as shoes. Funnily enough a pair always fits him in the end.

They do have trainers for weekends etc and I give them much more free range over their choice of those so I figure me insisting on actual shoes for school isn't too controlling!

I live in Canada so unless you attend a private school kids don't wear school uniforms. Most kids wear trainers all the time. I have yet to see deformed feet as a result of kids wearing trainers. The only deformed feet I know of that were caused by footwear occurred when the footwear didn't fit properly (i.e. too small).

Flexible soled trainers are probably better for your feet than sensible shoes I'd say. More supportive during lateral movement and better fit around the arches, less foot sliding on the inside so less likely to curl toes.

ds had sore feet and problems for ages until we put him in trainers. He has a very high arch, and needs something under it, or else he gets tendon trouble.

So I have switched from advocating real leather shoes, to thinking trainers are a good idea!
At secondary he isn;t allowed trainers, and we have to add arch supports or gel insoles etc to every pair, and leather shoes are simply less supportive.

You must be the same age as me OP - I well remember when it was drummed into us school kids that school shoes would help your feet develop properly whereas trainers would not. Something to do with no providing enough support although I don't remember what!

Sounds more like he's succumbing to peer pressure rather than trainers not being comfy. FWIW they have changed PE policy and uniform (much more generic but they now have to wear PE stuff all day) and I managed to get some decent trainers from TK Maxx for fairly cheap.

Let him wear trainers. I imagine his next School won't allow them and then you'll see him in something smarter.

I would go with the black trainer type shoes. No way would I buy him the Nikes. “They are the only pair that feel comfortable” he is clearly trying to manipulate you! I hate that our kids are influenced by labels at such a young age. The greatest benefit of wearing school uniform is that kids don’t have to worry about school being a fashion show but so many school are now relaxing the rules.

Exactly how does he wreck his shoes? Where do they get most worn/damaged? It may not be his fault, he may have a condition causing this.

My aunts husband is a podiatrist, he wears trainers all the time and says school uniform should be trainers not shoes. It's shoes that cause the damage (he particularly hates ballet flats but some boys shoes too). If you know or ever visit a podiatrist check out what they're wearing - all the ones I know wear trainers.

In terms of which trainers that depends on your budget and branded trainers aren't necessary.

Agree with Graphista podiatrists, physios etc all wear trainers.

My son is exactly the same, he’s already told me that “everyone in the junior school wears trainers”
I’ve had a look on sports direct and found some Adidas trainers that look like school shoes so I might get these as a compromise.

Im with you op on the fact that only the nike fit him.......yep, he just wants nike! I would say that you have had a good think and ok trainers it is but i wouldnt be buying nike and i would tell him that.

Maybe offer it as a compromise? You’ll let him wear trainers, he stops insisting on Nike.

Are they waterproof. The only issue I have with trainers is my children seem to get wet feet when they wear them, otherwise they are more comfy and suited to play.