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Original poster

To argue with DS over school shoes?

56 replies

heavymetalheatherhead · 30/08/2018 23:40

DS is 8. His school have a fairly relaxed uniform policy re: footwear. Shoes or trainers, in black white or grey.
He wants to wear trainers for school. I want him to wear shoes. I took him to get measured in Clark's, but he claimed every pair of shoes he tried on were uncomfortable. He wouldn't go for their trainers either (apart from
the really sporty colourful ones that he wouldn't be allowed.
We then tried Kickers, Geox. None were comfy, apparently.
Nike trainers? Perfectly comfy Hmm
In my head, he should be wearing proper leather, measured for school shoes, or his feet will end up deformed. In my head, allowing him
To wear trainers all the time is bad parenting. But the thing is, he is allowed to wear trainers for school. So why am I getting so worked up about it?! To be fair to me, another issue is the fact that he destroys footwear, so he really needs sturdy stuff, but really good quality trainers would do the job.
Talk some sense into me please!

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 31/08/2018 08:03

Kirsandkids the trainer style school shoes that Clark’s do are much better for foot development than the more formal styles. They formal styles are very flat and offer no arch support. I can’t see when you insist on your children wearing uncomfortable shoes.

OP let him wear trainers, my physio said I should wear trainers as much as possible.

Furrydogmum · 31/08/2018 08:03

My mum has awful issues with her feet due to poorly fitting and shared (due to poverty) footwear as a child. I was put thru the indignity of being the only one of my friends to have to wear clarks shoes right up to age 13 - 5ft9 and still having my feet measured ffs! I hated that last Saturday of the hols trip to town 😂
I made my boys wear clarks too 😁

Mosschopz · 31/08/2018 08:05

When he gets to secondary school age, they’ll expect him in smart shoes, not trainers. If you’re prepared for the battle you’re going to have at that age, having allowed him to wear trainers for three years, the next go for it!

GinIsIn · 31/08/2018 08:05

FWIW, I work at a university with a big medical dept. The students on podiatry all wear trainers......

SpringSnow · 31/08/2018 08:07

To be fair though, the Nikes will probably cost the same as Clarkes, so if that's what he likes, why not?

Luxembourgmama · 31/08/2018 08:10

I was always forced to wear sensible ugly shoes too but I think it was a myth. However bikes are a rip off he's being cheeky if he won't wear geox trainers

halcyondays · 31/08/2018 08:20

Mine have never been allowed trainers at school, but have Nike trainers for home and they don't cost any more than Geox would.

steppemum · 31/08/2018 08:21

well ds wears Nikes as often as he can. We have an outlet centre, and have bought Nikes for less than Clarkes school shoes, so I'm a bit meh about the brands.

Also, cheap trainers don't have the arch support that a more expensive pair have.

When I was a kid, the big anti-trainer thing was because your feet sweated more in trainers than leather shoes. Given modern fabrics that isn't true.

3WildOnes · 31/08/2018 08:24

The Nike and Adidas trainers I’ve recently bought for my children were significantly cheaper than the Clarks and start rite school shoes.

kaytee87 · 31/08/2018 08:25

Trainers won't deform his feet. The same shoes shouldn't be worn every day though they need time to air and dry out.

I can't believe schools are allowing kids to wear trainers as part of uniform though, not very smart.

IceBearRocks · 31/08/2018 08:45

My eldest has ASD and wears a orthotic in his shoes. We struggles for many years but then finally have settled on Dr Martens. Once worn in ate just like slippers and can be polished well and still look good. He has boots which offer good ankle support too.
I said no to the trainers because at high school you HAVE to wear a shoe!!! I didn't want that battle when there were consequences for wearing trainers.
I'll just add my DD now wears DM shoes to school and this year she couldn't find anything more comfortable than the DMs in Clarke's or Startrite. Only downfall is they are expensive ....but last year they both just had one pair of school shoes!

WhatAPandemonium · 31/08/2018 09:22

You think wearing trainers equates to bad parenting? Blimey.

rdexu · 31/08/2018 19:41

You need to be stricter with your DS IMO. It doesn't matter what the school rules say, if you want him to wear smart school shoes(which DC should IMO), that's what he wears since you are the parent.

I'd tell him he either tries on and picks a pair of proper shoes from Clarks himself or you'll do it for him. Under no circumstances should you back down and allow him to wear trainers.

CripsSandwiches · 31/08/2018 19:51

@Mosschopz

What a silly argument. He's allowed to wear trainers now, so let him wear trainers now (while he'll still be running around and playing a lot). He's not allowed to in secondary school so he'll have to wear different shoes. By that point he will just want to wear the same trainers as all his friends - most kids don't want to get in trouble on the first day of secondary school so there'll be no argument then anyway. Just because he'll have to wear a tie and short in secondary school doesn't mean you should force him to now too.

CripsSandwiches · 31/08/2018 19:54

@rdexu

How silly. Kids should absolutely not care about being smart. They should be comfy running around. I also think it's a good idea to be strict with kids about things that are important (kindness, working hard etc.) and not be controlling over matters that you don't need to be.

Starlight345 · 31/08/2018 19:59

Yes I agree, comfort masters and yes branded trainers are cheaper than Clark’s.

AndYetItMoves · 31/08/2018 19:59

Under no circumstances should you back down and allow him to wear trainers.

No circumstances? Even if other shoes hurt his feet? My dd struggles to find shoes that fit. Should I ignore her and buy the shoes I prefer instead?

rdexu · 31/08/2018 19:59

Kids should look smart for school IMO. It gets them into a 'work' mindset and creates a clear separation between school(where they go to work) and elsewhere. There's a time and a place for 'comfy' clothing and school(or work) isn't it.

I also think it's good discipline for DC to not always get everything they want. The OP's DS clearly wants to wear trainers to look 'cool'. Having to wear school shoes gives him a clear message that his parents are the ones in charge.

Cauliflowersqueeze · 31/08/2018 20:02

Bet black trainers from the supermarket “wouldn’t be comfy” either.

rdexu · 31/08/2018 20:06

@AndYetItMoves

It's impossible for every single pair of school shoes to hurt someone's feet. But the OP's DS has already had a chance to be mature and choose a comfortable pair. I'd be choosing one for him at this stage- comfy or not.

CherryPavlova · 31/08/2018 20:18

If the school allows trainers, I can’t see the problem but I’d not be getting labelled ones for a primary aged child.
Clark’s shoes are fitted by teenagers with a half hour lesson. It’s a con. Within a week of buying the properly fitted shoes they will have stretched and not be properly fitting anymore. I don’t recall any chbothering to undo laces as they become so loose. The girls ones flor around as much as cheap shoes.
Trainers offer good support, they have greater flexibility and often better grip when running around.

Pick your battles!

bandthenjust · 31/08/2018 20:24

Not read all the replies, so sorry if this has been said. I 'd get him trainers. If he's more comfortable in them, why not. If they're the right size for his feet, his feet will not become 'deformed' lol.
Don't be surprised if the shoes you make him wear suddenly become very, very worn (re:trashed) in a fortnight.

junebirthdaygirl · 31/08/2018 20:27

My dn was told in her 20s that she had destroyed her feet wearing trainers. So l do agree that shoes are important.. Maybe compromise on having both but he must wear shoes at least 3 days a week. I was so glad all mine had to wear proper shoes to school.

bandthenjust · 31/08/2018 20:32

Really junebirthdaygirl? Was it arch support?

BlueJava · 31/08/2018 20:34

Provided he complies with school uniform rules I'd buy him trainers and let him wear them every day. If he wanted Nikes I'd get them.

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