Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find these comments from a man a turn off?

43 replies

tucsontutu · 30/08/2018 11:01

I am bit perplexed by something that happened last night. I'd love to hear some perspectives on the matter.

Yesterday night I saw New Man, whom I have been dating for the last couple of months. He is handsome, smart and funny, and things seem to be progressing well.

However, yesterday night he made a couple of weird comments while we were having dinner.

He was telling me about this fancy wedding he attended recently, and said something along the lines of "they broadcasted the wedding from the family's castle to the nearby village. It was pouring rain and all the plebs had to sit there getting soaked under the rain, while we were comfortably sitting inside ahah". This was clearly meant as a joke Shock

Later in the night, he stated that "re-hearing risotto is peasant-y". What a knob!!

AIBU to feel really turned off by these comments? Seriously wondering if I should keep dating this twat man.

OP posts:
FASH84 · 30/08/2018 11:03

Sounds like a douchebag. I knew someone similar at uni (friend of a friend, studying elsewhere but would visit) his favourite insult was to tell people he'd buy their house and sack their father. I think he thought it made him a character, it didn't.

SharpLily · 30/08/2018 11:04

Seriously? Bin him.

Justnoclue · 30/08/2018 11:05

He’s showing you who is is. Believe him.

NonaGrey · 30/08/2018 11:08

You know what to do.

Hauskat · 30/08/2018 11:10

Eww. He sounds grim.

TheVanguardSix · 30/08/2018 11:10

He sounds utterly vile. Nothing worse than a snob... oh wait, there is: A pseudo snob. The hills aren't far, OP. I'd get my trainers on.

SerenDippitty · 30/08/2018 11:11

Handsome is as handsome does, or says in this case. He sounds like a knob.

Original poster
tucsontutu · 30/08/2018 11:25

The hills aren't far, OP. I'd get my trainers on.

Grin
OP posts:
Stripybeachbag · 30/08/2018 11:32

Wait a bit! He made one joke and an odd comment. If he was a raging snob, it probably would have come out sooner. Also you've been seeing himfor a couple of months, haven't you had any discussions about politics? Personally, I'd dump someone just for voting tory and it would be spotted in a week of two.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/08/2018 11:32

Well if i were looking. He's certainly not someone I'd want to date.
The smug nasty classic cunt. I hope karma gets him good and proper.

Original poster
tucsontutu · 30/08/2018 11:37

Stripy yeah we have discussed politcs, although not in detail.

I knew he is from a very wealthy background and generally leaning towards moderate right wing (we are not in the UK). I have no problem with this, although my political views are different.

What I have a problem with is this snobby, spiteful tone, which I hadn't had a chance to experience until now.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 30/08/2018 11:40

Ugh what a turn off

I'd let him know you aren't interested

Please say "I just don't find anything about you very attractive" or similar Grin

HollowTalk · 30/08/2018 11:41

Has he done as well as his parents, financially? I think those who are riding on their parents' coat tails are the worst for being a snob.

Mintylicious · 30/08/2018 11:43

I once went out with a man when we were very young, and we went back to his parents’ house for the weekend. It was a huge but brand new pile with a cinema, that sort of house.

Whilst we were eating dinner, the mother asked the father to fetch something from the kitchen. And the father scratched his head and said something along the lines of:

“Kitchen? Have we got a kitchen then? I could be gone for weeks looking for that in a place like this.... haw haw haw.”

And the guy I was seeing chortled away and shouted, “you’ll need a map!”

That was the end of that!!!!!

As they say: if someone shows you who they are - believe them the first time! If you don’t, one day you could be the cringing mother in my story, who looked like she wanted to stab her ears with the candlesticks.

MissusGeneHunt · 30/08/2018 11:45

Clearly you're already turned off if you're calling him a twat! Frankly, I think you're right.... Grin

Racecardriver · 30/08/2018 11:46

Firstly, reheating risotto is a recipe for food poisoning. Don't do it. Re the plebs and peasants things it's a bit odd but fairly common place olin certain circles where those kinds of words aren't actually deemed offensive because no one in those circles has any insecurity about it. Of he is of a certain age and a public school boy it's probably just mindless banter to him. If those kinds of comment make you feel uncomfortable then you may struggle to be comfortable with each other. If your don't have any insecurities in that direction I would just put it down to one of those obnoxious cultural things. Every single culture has them. Pleb jokes aren't as bad a spitting on the ground, obsessive food cultures or, inverse snobbery. If he isn't a heading towards middle age public school boy however then there is probably something wrong with him as it can't be dismissed as a cultural quirk and I would get down to the bottom of it.

Sparklesocks · 30/08/2018 11:46

It would be the end for me. Uppity, classist snobs have no place in my bed…

BuffyBee · 30/08/2018 11:46

His comments were snobbish but I would have told him so and taken my future feelings about him from his re-action to my displeasure.
He might just agree that he was being an idiot and then realise that sort of "humour" is not for you.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 30/08/2018 11:47

Walk away. Walk. Away. NOW.

fanfan18 · 30/08/2018 11:49

Surely if you have been seeing him for a couple of months you know if he is a snob or not?

Personally these two comments wouldn't bother me but I'm a tory-voting bitch.

deepsea · 30/08/2018 11:50

Plebs and peasants, he is stuck in a time warp for one.

No matter how dashing or charming his sense of superiority will eventually grate on your nerves and almost certainly this is just the tip of the iceberg, he is showing his true colours now.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 30/08/2018 11:50

I had a DP who was very different politically, and I thought I was okay with it. I wasn't, because it underpinned who he was, which was often at odds with what felt comfortable to me. He was free to be himself, of course - but so was I, and it wasn't a foundation I felt we could build on.

BoobleMcB · 30/08/2018 11:51

So long as risotto is reheated thoroughly it's perfectly safe. Same with all rice dishes. I've had reheated risotto MANY times!

because I'm a super-peasant

lborgia · 30/08/2018 11:51

Mm, racecar I’d have to disagree with you - I can imagine someone saying “don’t be such a peasant”, but to actually laugh at “the plebs” being stuck in the rain is wank-speak in any class.

You’re right OP, run as fast as your little legs can carry you.

flumpybear · 30/08/2018 11:52

He sounds obnoxious, pretentious and a bit of a twat - not attractive traits

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread