Stories of families falling out over a will or possessions

[whattheactualfuckery]

Not an AIBU, just looking to hear stories of either you or someone you know, who has fallen out with family members over a parents will. I'm going through this at the moment. It's bloody awful.

Great Uncle wanted the family home. (Country House type home). Knowing this -
-and that Great Unc expected to inherit as the elder brother- DGF urged Great-Grandad to leave it to Great Unc not DGF (DGF 1st choice as sensible & had D.C, Great Unc an established bachelor). Lots of guff about the glory of the house, family ties etc from Great Unc.

He'd flogged it & the contents within a year. The brothers mostly spoke via solicitor after that.

You can look at the actual judgements on the BAILII website. Run a blank search with just the relevant court selected. Theresy be some trawling to do.

On DH's side, there was a big falling-out 10 years ago between 2 uncles and an aunt over their Mother's estate. I don't know all the details, but she'd split it 3 ways between them.

Their Mum had suffered from dementia in her later years and one uncle thought he should get a larger share as his family had mainly cared for her. It was complicated, though, as she'd done a lot for him earlier in life and when his siblings suggested professional nursing care for their Mum (which they'd help pay for), he refused to consider it. So, it was his choice to care for her really.

Long story short, they didn't speak for years and things are still awkward. It's really sad and so pointless.

Our dm died a few years ago leaving a 3 bed house that was in need of a good clean & a coat of paint. Dm’s will stated that estate be split equally between dcs.
I was heavily pregnant at the time, one sibling lived locally, others lived about 50 miles away and one lived 250 miles away.
The clearing of the house and redecoration was left to the furthest away sibling plus myself. I spent a lot of my 7th month up ladders painting & clearing gutters. The closest sibling who also only works part time did nothing at all.
And that closest sibling kept phoning to ask when “she would get her money”
We tried explaining that there was no money, just a house that needed work, but she didn’t take the hint.
And I received a call from the undertaker about 10 days after the funeral, to ask when another sibling would be paying the bill for their flowers. When I rang dB, he tried to tell me to charge them to the estate . Like my mum should pay for her own flowers.
We managed to get through without any lasting feuds but I have far less respect for some of them now.

Fallen out with my only brother over money he refuses to pay me back, I feel it's unlikely he will ever contact me or his nieces again to avoid paying it. Never fallen out with him until I asked for the money back, he got angry and has blocked my family on his phone and social media. He uses women, just moves in and moves on, all of his partners have teenage daughters and never sons to punch him when they find out what a selfish arse he really is.

Oh damn, I missed the bit about the will....

It is awful, isn't it. Around here there are siblings in their seventies and eighties who are still not speaking to each other after falling out over inheritances after their parents' death.
I don't have any good stories because everyone in my extended family gets all tense and shifty-eyed and close-mouthed whenever parents die, and they only let out snippets of information when they can't bear to hold it in any more. I gather there's lots of money involved and everybody who inherits is convinced that they should have got more.

I knew 4 siblings who were very very close. Their DM died and was a wealthy woman with some very naice pieces of furniture/paintings worth a fortune in her house in very specific places (huge house). Day of the funeral comes and one sibling doesn't show up. Family try to call, pre mobile phone days, but decide to go ahead and think sibling is just to upset to attend. Go back to the house for tea/cakes afterwards and find the very specific pieces gone. Sibling spent the funeral time with a removal company clearing them. They only spoke through lawyers after that.

When I rang dB, he tried to tell me to charge them to the estate shock. Like my mum should pay for her own flowers

Sorry, but this is 100% normal. Rather than one sibling take on paying for the flowers which can run to a lot of money, it is very normal to charge it to the estate. That way, everyone shares the cost. I've lost DPs, GPs, so have lots of my friends and that's what everyone has done.

The estate does pay for all funeral costs including flowers.

Defo the estate pays for funeral costs including flowers and the wake.

Lots. Usually involved lots and lots of money or unfairness.
One particular where youngest sibling inherited the large house to themselves, despite being grown up and with own place. Refused to share with others and they've never spoken since.
Another where youngest DD and her son took all the jewelry and several thousand pounds of cash they found while clearing the house. They were found out and made to give it back. Followed by years of sulking and arguments.

I've got a nice story about an inheritance.

A lady I know was one of 10 children. She fell out with her mother because the mother didn't like the man my friend married. Even after they'd split up, the mother refused to have anything to do with her and her children, and divided the estate between the other 9.

After she died, they got together and all agreed to give their sister 1/10 of what they inherited, so they all ended up with the same amount.

When my great aunt died, she left money to my ds and my brothers ds. Brother threw a hissy about 'what did this mean for future children' - he didn't have any others at the time, and even better neither he or his ds had ever met great aunt (falling out between my grandmother and her had meant she wasn't in contact for over 30 years, but I had then taken dad to see her a few times and she'd met ds).

My dad died when I was little. His sister and mother were mine and my mum's only remaining family. Aunt was always a bit prickly and volatile (had MH problems) but I was very very fond of her.
When my grandma died she tried to contest the will and say that grandma had been intending to change it so that my mum and I didn't receive anything.
To cut a very long story short it all got very nasty with solicitors, she didn't have a leg to stand on and the will was upheld.
She hasn't spoken to us for about 15 years and I don't actually know if she's alive or dead.
Very very sad

My Mum and her Sister fell out over the handling of the will when my grandfather passed away. 10 years later my DM died of cancer and they still hadn’t spoke. Very sad.

I read threads like this and thank God that I’m an only child. Currently applying for probate and it’s bliss to not have to consult anyone else. I sympathise with all those having problems.

Dh's brothers turned into vultures the moment their father died.
DH had agreed to live with his dad and basically look after him in his last years. Ok, it wasn't a massively onerous task as he was in reasonable health so DH could hold down a job. Still, DH pretty much had no social life as he kept his dad company and did most of the day to day sorting out and tasks.
The will stipulated that DH should be allowed to remain in the house for as long as he wanted after his dad passed. I've seen the will (a long time after the events) and it was pretty clear. Only when DH decided to leave the house would the value be split between the brothers.
DH had no intention of being selfish. He wanted some time to mourn, do a few bigger jobs round the house that his dad had refused, generally get the house into a saleable condition and then move on.
The brothers were not happy. One basically spent his "inheritance" the moment the dad died and then kept making horrible phonecalls to a different brother demanding that DH be evicted as he had "bills to pay".
Another brother wanted to charge DH rent for the house.
DH visited his dad every day in hospital during his last illness. Hours at a time. As for the others, they were there a handful of times. The one making the threatening calls turned up once. Dh's dad was in hospital for two months and he turned up once.
In the end, DH felt he had to get the ball rolling much quicker and moved out before he'd manage to finish work on the house. He was then berated for leaving the house "in a state" - it wasn't. Some of the rooms had old decor, that was all.
They then tried to bill DH for taking some furniture that belonged to DH, whilst refusing any contribution towards the work DH had done to the house.
Selfish gits the lot of them. We discovered later that DH had been stiffed out of about 4K in his share of the proceeds from the house.
We're NC with the lot of them and it's a big relief to be honest. It's a shame as his dad was a lovely man who'd be deverstated by their behaviour.
Thanks, that was cathartic.

My SIL's parents were separated for years but never divorced because SIL's mother was a strict Catholic and didn't believe in divorce.

SIL's DF died and left everything to SIL. The will actually contained specific instructions that nothing was to go to SIL's mother or her brother.
SIL and her father had spoken about the will and he had expressly wanted for some of the money to go to support my Nephew who has special needs and will need lifelong care. They had made some plans for the money and SIL's father was happy with the fact that he would be able to help in some way.
SIL's father died and SIL's mother contested the will. She also insisted on going to the man's funeral even though she hadn't seen him for years and by all accounts hated him.
She was able to collect his pension as she was technically his widow. She told SIL that she would give all the money back to SIL anyway but it was the principle of the thing. She was his wife and deserved to inherit.
Eventually a strongly worded solicitors letter put her off but the relationships is not the same now. They rarely see her.

Such a stupid woman.

When my gran died we discovered that all the boxes in her considerable jewellery collection were empty. One or more family members must have been pocketing the items when they were in her bedroom providing care as she lay dying.

My nana had a daughter (my DM) to her first husband, then a son and daughter to her second husband. Second daughter still lived at home so gran left her everything with instructions to share it between the grandkids when she died. She didn’t make a will though, and then she died in an accident - so her full brother got everything and her half sister (my DM) got nothing. What’s worse is that the brother hadn’t spoken to nana for years and she had been adamant that she didn’t want him to receive a penny.

My mum was trying to get my uncle to come to visit my GM during her long illness and while she was dying, and he constantly made excuses which were mainly work or family related - as if my mum didn’t also have a job and Family. He was awful to my GM and it must have hurt her terribly that he didn’t bother to visit during her final months (he was a train ride away and wealthy etc.). When my mum called him to say she’d died, his first question was when she was available to go over the will, as he wanted to go over it ASAP. No mention of coming over, or helping with the funeral arrangements. He then did as another PP mentioned and cleared pretty much anything of value from her house without even mentioning he’d been over this way. Just an utter bastard. To make matters worse he was always the golden child, could do no wrong and was always helped out financially and made so many investments on the back of GP’s help, that he became very wealthy, and always had everything done for his family/kids, he was treated as the favourite child while my mum always struggled. Only my mum was left caring for her in the end. He was an absolute vulture in the end and nobody has spoken to him since. Fucking bastard.

PIL were not well off particularly. Owned own home, savings of less than £10k.
BIL had a huge fit when FIL died as he didn’t inherit anything from the ‘estate’. MIL paid funeral from savings. Took FILs car and sold it and kept the money himself.
When MIL died he started clearing out the house 2 days later. Her savings were already dwindled from him ‘borrowing’ from them whilst she was in hospital.
He forced sale of house through fast (and undervalue). Spent most of the money within 6 months on luxuries.
Complains how hard done he is in life and he’s skint.

My ex’s father died and his mother and siblings (my ex’s grandmother and uncles) were absolute vultures. They seemed to think that they were owed something from his will, despite the fact that he had a wife and three children, and they made the family’s life absolute hell while they were grieving. Then they all fell out and never spoke again.

If my sibling died, leaving three children, I cannot imagine how it would ever even cross my mind that I should get some of his/her money. Let alone cutting contact with all my nieces and nephews if I didn’t get any! Unbelievable.

My grandparents have 5 children.
Two sons, three daughters.
Big house now worth approx 2 million.
Will split three ways excluding two daughters and one brother (my uncle) also given £100,000 and bought a smaller 3 bed house to leave the house share. Now he's moved back in with his entire family back into the old house whilst renting his one out.

It's always brought up bad feelings, a lot of jealously, tension numerous police calls due to escalating fights.