Family member copied my business idea!

[EnidsHoliday]

AIBU to be rather annoyed?

I started an online business venture about 8 weeks ago and have had better than expected success so far (made about £500 in the first full month and it's growing!). I won't go into too much detail as outing but think along the lines of social media/shopping/etc.

It's a relatively niche area of which I have some experience with the target audience etc. I started it to help subsidise my maternity pay.

An immediate family member has basically copied and pasted my entire idea and is now running a virtually identical business, competing for pretty much the same customers! They have a full time job and so have said it is just a hobby for them.

Not sure if I'm overreacting or how to handle? They kept it quiet for the first couple of weeks as they were scared I'd be upset(!).

Block her on social media, stop telling her anything about your business venture.

Tell her it is completely unacceptable what she is doing.

Your mum...I can't even believe it, does she show other signs of being a narcissist?

Absolutely shocking. I would roast her.

what a pain! Can you at least name your business here so we can all check it out. I'm all up for supporting new businesses.

*and

I think you should send her a solicitors letter asking her to cease and desist the outright copying and to redo her terms and conditions. Very harsh and will call her to implode but you’ve got to protect your business.

I have been in your shoes!
Several years ago I started an online shop, mine was very niche too. I built it from scratch, sourced and stocked the products, created the descriptions, took and edited the photos myself and even created a pricing structure using some specific calculations.
After few years it took off and I was talking openly about it with friends and colleagues.
Then at one stage I found out there was a VERY similar website on the same platform I was using, with a similar name, selling EXACTLY the same products at the SAME fees less one penny and using MY pictures and descriptions. If it was only one element I could think about a genuine competitor. But literally everything was identical and my pictures got stolen.
I did a quick investigation and found out it was a colleague who stole it. I confronted her and she said it was not her but her sister (???). I threatened suing for having copied my pics, but then realized it was not worth it. In the end I had to close my shop as the market was limited for those type of audience and we basically split it in half and there were no profits.
I learned my lesson - will never share my ideas with anyone ever again (and make sure all my know how is protected).

Wow. She has some serious issues. I suggest you keep your children suitably distanced from her. Not necessarily nc although for this, it would be understandable to do so. You also really need to ask yourself why you aren’t making a fuss about this. Just ask yourself how she would react if you did the same to her. I bet you anything she’d turn into the bitch from hell.

Idk if I’d go all out angry. You could try telling her how pathetic and ridiculous she is. How ridiculous and immature she is with her sisters and how you wish to have no part of this stupid rivalry. Then block her. I would suggest not contacting her for a considerable period to cool off and see if she can behave. And as per Curious I would inform others what she has done. Calmly so that you aren’t ridiculed as some people must think your mother and her siblings are pathetic.

Accidentally let slip that you are branching out into X (something related but difficult to manage/handle/expensive up front costs) because customers are asking for it. So if, for instance, you are doing baby stuff then tell someone else in her hearing that you will be offering Swarovski (sp?) decorated dummies or something. With any luck she'll run her business into the ground and you can mop up her customers.

Er, it can’t be that niche or unique if anyone can copy what you’ve done and start up their own website . I’m surprised you don’t yet have 10 copycats syphoning off your business, if it’s as easy as you’ve said it is.

So she follows you on Instagram and FB op?

You could have some fun by posting really bizarre offers (ones that would lose you money) and setting her as the only person who could view the post, then laugh when she copies you

You could also add '*Disclaimer: not a real offer, just made up in order to piss off DM' in tiny font in the corner of a particularly ornate image, just so no-one can say you didn't warn her....

This is why you NEVER tell anyone about your business plans.

I don't knowif it's been mentioned here or you have made this realisation by yourself but she is most definitely a narcissist. Especially the bit about your divorce upsetting HER and giving HER sleepless nights is a classic sign of narcissism. It's all about HER.

You should read/post on the thread below
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3326437-Tell-me-your-narc-dms-most-outrageous-stunts&ved=2ahUKEwjUmOKF3ZLdAhVlBcAKHVypBYEQFjAAegQIABAB&usg=AOvVaw2BZGxv5GqhhPdmM997Q1Bu" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3326437-Tell-me-your-narc-dms-most-outrageous-stunts&ved=2ahUKEwjUmOKF3ZLdAhVlBcAKHVypBYEQFjAAegQIABAB&usg=AOvVaw2BZGxv5GqhhPdmM997Q1Bu

She can copy your ideas once they leave your clever brain, but she has not got the imagination to hatch her own; make sure she doesn't get wind of your innovations - or, as PP's have suggested, lay some false trails.
If she is balancing this as a hobby while coping with a full-time job, you can easily outstrip her with the efficiency of your responses, and wrong-foot her.
Try to elicit some good reviews to build your profile. Can you get mentioned in a way that puts you ahead in a Google search?
She has not got the originality to truly compete, and will eventually run out of steam. In the meantime, make sure copyright issues are absolutely watertight.

How come she’s been able to source the same stock as you & had it delivered so quick.

Surely she’s massivly behind you i terms of marketing too, it normally takes a while to build up a strong social media following.

Ouch that struck a chord with me op when your mum blamed you for sleepless nights. Iv got a life limiting illness and now disabled. My mum blamed me for her nearly having a nervous breakdown because I was ill

I can’t believe your own mother would do something like this and you definitely need to say something.
Hopefully it will just be a flash in the pan for her and she’ll have given it up soon enough.

TacoFriday - she could only copy it because she acted interested and I naively told her info in relation to where I'm sourcing products etc never thinking in a million years she would copy it!

My god. You don’t want to fall out with her? Seriously you don’t need her in your life. Her job as a mother is to support you and be proud of you not compete with you.

You need to have it out with her and if she doesn’t stop this then you really do need to cut her out.
She is wrong on so many levels. As someone who has recently cut my father out of my life for different reasons I can tell you what a relief it is.

My DM is a massive copycat too. Even down to my pagan clothing and decor, even though she never wears them she has to have them. It was my birthday recently and she bought things from my Amazon wish list. As she is giving me the gift she informs me she has treated herself to the same book and craft kit too. Now I don't even want to look at them.

As an aside to your question here, I think from memory, that if you are running another business during your maternity leave and work more than a certain number of hours hours, making money, from HMRC’s perspective, you are no longer on mat leave. So it no longer becomes supplementing your mat pay, it could actually mean you lose it.
Please check you will not lose out as a result of your new venture. x
PS your mum is a CF. Very sneaky to nick your own child’s idea!

I have a knack for social media due to when I ran a blog a while back so my following for this business grew quickly - she has copied mine and followed all of my followers (resulting in some follow backs) so whilst her following is nowhere near as big as mine it is bigger than most businesses of that age IYSWIM.

user1471523870 that's so awful! Especially as you had to close it in the end!

mrsjackrussell I'm so sorry to hear that - sending hugs xxx

I've definitely learned my lesson to not tell anyone even those I thought I could trust. I just didn't expect her to do it to be honest!

I second the idea about dropping some red herrings for her to copy! I’d love to see what you’re doing as I too like to support small businesses, if you’d like to PM a link?

I don’t know why you are saying you don’t want to fall out with her. You are trying to build a business that will allow you to work from home & give you more time with your baby & you are being sabotaged by your own mother. You need to confront her & read her the riot act. She is a jealous, selfish woman but she can only get away with it if you allow her to.

So two issues - your mother and secondly a competitor business. I am intrigued as to what justification your mother is giving. I am sorry you have the emotional turmoil.
For the competitor business - sounds as though you are keeping ahead of the game - whoever the competitor is.
Can you get your suppliers to supply exclusively to you ?

My parents did this to me, after I'd worked in their shop for free for years. In the end, they gave up because it was too boring and they didn't put in the work required to make it a success. I'm sure they blame me for that too!
Hopefully your mother will give up too. It's a horrible feeling though, being stabbed in the back by the one person who is supposed to love you.