Last week was a special anniversary for DH and I. We had gone away for a few days and had a nice time. I had bought DH a special present (nothing expensive but special nonetheless and something he liked). He hadn't bought me anything, not even a card, but we had been away for a couple of nights so I was happy even so. On the way home, he appeared agitated and asked where I had bought his present from, and then said 'so I paid for it then'. I said no, I paid for it and would transfer the money later. I told him to stop being so spiteful and he apologised.
A few months ago for father's day i surprised him with a day out and took all his family out for dinner. It took so much effort to organise and keep it a surprise. All he could say on the way home was, when asked if he had enjoyed himself, 'yeah but I paid for it'. I told him no, I had worked a couple of days in my parents family business to pay for it. Again he apologised.
Last month i bought car insurance on our joint credit card. He was furious and said how dare I buy it without asking him. I told him i buy it every year and there's not a problem, how else did he think i was going to pay for it? He carried on and on until i said i was phoning my mum to loan me the money to give back to him. He all of sudden changed his tune and said to forget about it.
AIBU to feel about 2cm tall? I feel small and silly when he makes these comments. I feel like nothing and so embarrassed.
FWIW, I am a sahm to our three children (two with sn), do everything around the house and 99% of childcare. He would never make these comments in front of anyone else because he knows that they'd be appalled - it's only in private.