(Its NOT a baby shower!) AIBU to have a Bump Party at 36+4

[ThatFridayFeeling]

This is my first pregnancy! DH and I are planning a little 'Bump Party' celebration with our friends, which is basically the games and silliness of a baby shower in a pub, both sexes and guests have been told there is no expectation of gifts (before everyone bundles in with "grabby" comments). Just one last hurrah and a nice afternoon with mates.

Due to venue issues, I'm possibly going to have to rearrange it for when I will be 36+4 weeks. I'd originally planned it for 34+4 but the venue just told me they have to cancel my reservation. I have the option of another venue keeping the original date but less keen on that one.

My question is AIBU to hold it so close to my due date? I don't want it to turn into a literal "baby shower"!

I won't take the bait but you know everyone will feel like they have to bring presents right?
I think 36+4 is fine... of course there's always a chance you'll go early or you'll feel like crap but no way of knowing in advance so it's just a risk you've got to take

I would rather eat my own liver than indulge someone in this nonsense!
A bump party... 🙄

I wouldn't go.

Why not just invite people over for a normal get together bbq or a brunch?

Why do people think that others give a shit that they're pregnant? They really don't, you know. They might be happy for you but your uterus is only interesting to you.

I don't give presents until baby arrives safely, as I used to work in A&E. I've just seen too many tragedies to not feel cautious about all pregnancies.

It sounds lovely and I'm sure your friends will enjoy it. Go for it. However it is essentially a shower. I've been to ones.with both sexes invited and there is absolutely no way anyone will come without bringing a gift! Also most showers I have been to have been only a couple of weeks before the due date so that sounds about normal.

Baby showers are fun. I'm American so I grew up with them being a normal thing. I don't understand why people think it's grabby? Most people just bring something small, like a cute outfit. It's mostly about making the mom feel special and getting family and friends together in one place to celebrate the baby coming.

36+4 should be fine, some women are still working at that stage of pregnancy and while some babies come early, the majority come after the due date. Enjoy your bump party - not a fan of showers or whatever but each to their own!

I can't stand baby showers. Not for having to take a gift. I'd rather take a gift than have to take part in the forced fun type games! I'm a grumpy bugger though. I think I'd rather just go out for a nice meal with my closest friends.

I think it sounds nice!

It’s like a “last child free get together before we have to sort out childcare” kind of thing.

I’m a bit eye rolly about baby showers - not because a gift is expected, as I would usually give friends a gift anyway, but because a large portion of the party is watching the Mother To Be open the gifts 😴 boring! I also think that it’s rude to open gifts at a party. You open them after and send a thank you!

Anyway, my friend invited all her friends for afternoon tea when she was pregnant. She stipulated that it was NOT a baby shower but just the chance to get together before the baby arrived and gossip. It was lovely!

Why do people think that others give a shit that they're pregnant? They really don't, you know. They might be happy for you but your uterus is only interesting to you.

I don't give presents until baby arrives safely, as I used to work in A&E. I've just seen too many tragedies to not feel cautious about all pregnancies.*

Well, aren’t you just all sunshine and rainbows...?

Gah, bold fail!

36+4 is fine for having a get together. It's very unlikely a first baby will be born that early. Why call it a 'bump party' though? It just sounds stupid.

Nordic you couldn't have been that stone broke to throw a baby shower?

It wasn't a big do - we didn't hire the pub or anything, the owners were happy for us to bring our own food as long as the guests bought drinks. We stocked up from Aldi and made loads of sandwiches and crisps/ dip etc. I think it came to about £30. One friend made a load of cupcakes and another made a load of samosas as their gift to us. It was enough for a decent lunch for everyone. Basically just "we're going to be here having a bit of a party before the new baby/ everyone moves away, free lunch, join us if you'd like".

My first was born before then but I still would go for the later date as you’re closer to term.

Have a great get together but please ditch the games.

I would word the invitations as a last moment of freedom before the baby arrives or something similar.