(Its NOT a baby shower!) AIBU to have a Bump Party at 36+4

[ThatFridayFeeling]

This is my first pregnancy! DH and I are planning a little 'Bump Party' celebration with our friends, which is basically the games and silliness of a baby shower in a pub, both sexes and guests have been told there is no expectation of gifts (before everyone bundles in with "grabby" comments). Just one last hurrah and a nice afternoon with mates.

Due to venue issues, I'm possibly going to have to rearrange it for when I will be 36+4 weeks. I'd originally planned it for 34+4 but the venue just told me they have to cancel my reservation. I have the option of another venue keeping the original date but less keen on that one.

My question is AIBU to hold it so close to my due date? I don't want it to turn into a literal "baby shower"!

Ah I get it - so you're having a baby shower AND a bump party... wow.

It's common to have a shower about 4 weeks before the baby is due so I wouldn't worry too much.
I actually got thrown one after my baby was born due to circumstances. That was fun too.

Enjoy it OP and make the most. Baby showers are a good way to give the gift before the manicness of a new born begins. And bringing all friends of both genders makes it much nicer for everyone. I had a BBQ with games and food and alcohol and kids. Great day

I think 36+4 is fine as long as you are feeling ok. My lovely colleagues have arranged a baby celebration/gathering for me this week at a bar with food, cocktails, mocktails and baby shower games - I'll be 36+3 and looking forward to it! There will not be presents (my work never give any presents until after baby is born), it is a get together they have arranged!

Ah I get it - so you're having a baby shower AND a bump party... wow.

No she isn’t. It’s one party, mostly organised by her friends, where the OP has specified the guest list and said she doesn’t want gifts. If you’re going to ‘wow’ someone at least read the post properly 🙄

I’m not keen on baby showers in general, but what you’ve described sounds inoffensive and a nice get together for friends before you have the baby- I like the idea of calling it a Bye Bye Pregnancy party!

The only thing I’d object to are the baby-themed party games, but just because I’ve never come across one that is genuinely entertaining.

I'd go for drinks in the pub with my friends and wish them well. But a "bump party" with games, no chance.

I'd have loved a little get together with all my friends before baby arrived. I know you can go out after your baby has arrived and yiire not locked away in the house but socialising isn't the same so it would have been great.

The games are the worst bit of a baby shower! I don't mind getting a gift and catching up.

Oh, gawd, silly baby games. It's a baby shower by another name. Bump party? WTf?

^This. Bump party sounds stupid.

Forgive my blatant sexism but is it likely that men are going to want to play baby games? I’m not sure most women would be up for them either to be honest.

Yabu the fucking games are the worst part of a baby shower. I’d rather take a gift than partake in organised fun.

Stop worrying what people think and enjoy x

Call it a Bye Bye Freedom Party, have a nice catch up with all your friends and lose the baby games.

gosh i honestly never understand the hatred of baby showers on mumsnet! ive only been to a handful but ive always been excited to celebrate with friends, enjoy a catch up and bring a gift. for very close friends ive happily bought a gift for the shower and another when born, for less close friends just the one gift. is it also considered grabby to have birthday parties on mumsnet? or weddings? in any case the op has deliberately cut out the present giving part but is still getting criticised! the party sounds a lovely idea. i went into labour with my first at 36+5 so that would put me off organising anything so close but statistically that is pretty unlikely. i guess it depends how much effort/time/money will be lost if you do need to reschedule nearer the time - and also how easy/hard it will be for your friends to make the new date

Thanks everyone for all your posts! I love how Mumsnet have such strong opinions about these things but tbh I'm perfectly happy with my little soiree and don't mind if others don't agree, I get that not everyone would want or enjoy one - that's ok.

My question was about doing at 36+4 and if this would be too close to my due date. Looks like I worrying unnecessarily (apart from questioning my own moral fibre at the very prospect of doing something so heinous as to have a Bump Party)

P.s. I love the title "Bump Party", I think it sounds fun so :-P

Have a party whenever you like. But nobody is interested in silly baby games

Too close to the due date and the “no expectation of gifts” is ridiculous.

Either say “no gifts please” or just expect them. They way you’ve phrased it sounds very much like a reminder to bring a gift.

Also, games in a pub? Why? How tedious for the people near you. Why not just get your friends together for a drink before you have your baby?

It sounds as though you want a baby shower but are pretending you don’t.

gosh i honestly never understand the hatred of baby showers on mumsnet!

Same here! I've only ever encountered it here.

Bump Party is just awful...I guarantee you’ll look back on this with embarrassment! I don’t know a single man who’d enjoy doing this (and actually not many women) can you not just meet up with friends and have a nice meal/chat without forcing everyone to play stupid games? Why do you need an entire party about you just because you’re pregnant?
Sorry but I just don’t get it...and I appreciate you probably don’t care but just my opinion.
Baby Showers are bad enough but at least most or organised by someone else on behalf on the mother.

presents come AFTER the baby is safely delivered. State that on the invite.

just call it 'shagged with results, come along for a get together before we need a babysitter and while we are still getting sleep'. And please, no games unless you know your mates really enjoy it. Which I bet most of them don't.

If you’re so happy with it, then WTAF is the point of this thread?

Criiiiiiiinge

If you’re so happy with it, then WTAF is the point of this thread?

I was just wondering this myself, maybe it to state claim to the notion of inventing "bump party". .

I also dont get the whole 36+4 weeks. Only really applies to your midwife or your notes, you dont have to judge your baby shower in weeks and days. just say im 36 weeks and having a baby shower in the pub, we'd love you to come and play silly games with us, but you dont need to bring a present.

I really dont see the point in this thread if your already doing it. only you will know what you'll feel like at 36 weeks AND 4 days. a bunch of strangers on the internet cant tell you what to do about that.

Depends how far in advance you’d be changing the date. If you’re talking anything less than a month then I would expect a lot of people to say they can’t go and be narked. If this is something that’s 2 months+ away, I wouldn’t worry too much as people still have time not to make plans on the new date.

I just say this as someone who regularly has weekend plans in advance.