OLD + photo = misery

[Fuzzywig]

What is it with men?

I joined a OLD site a couple of days ago. I received messages from a few men, I started chatting to two. I sent a photo to one who stopped chatting after he received my photo. WTF.

I am not that hideous.... honestly!

Try to rationalise it.

Maybe you’re gorgeous but genuinely not his cup of tea, or look just like his sister or ex wife?

Could be anything

But he’s a twat not to explain.

OLD brings out the worst in people.

Though I met my husband OLD so I mustn’t grumble too much

Not everyone will fancy you. Better to find out before you spend anymore time on the guy.

some men just like to collect photos. don't take it personally.

saying that, does the photo show you in your best light?

He replied sending a photo of himself and a question - then nothing, I asked how old his photo was after commenting mine was a couple of weeks old. He’s been back on the site and nothing.

I’m going through some crap with my ex so probably not the best idea to be on there at the moment.

My photos were quite a good of me - I needed my fringe cutting but nothing too drastic lol.

I asked a friend why I wasn't good enough the other day.

She said "maybe you were too good"

And I love that so maybe that's what this was for you aswell

Yes, I don't bother messaging men who would consider themselves out of my league (I am confident but other people's perceptions are a factor that cannot be ignored).

It killed my confidence to be honest.

Ah.. well.... onwards and upwards....

I would suggest coming off if you have ex issues to sort out.

You do need a bit of a thick skin.

It's not impossible he was intimidated by good looks.
Suddenly felt you'd not be interested in him and dealt with it badly?

Not everyone will fancy you and that's ok. It doesn't mean you aren't attractive. You're going to need thicker skin if you continue to OLD.

You asked how old his photo was. It's v old or he'd have replied. I always say mine is from last year which it is. Then I meet them and its obvious their pic was at least 10yrs old before they went white & put on 2stone. Looking for a slim 45yr old guy with lots of dark hair, then a 59yr old Father Christmas lookalike waves at you is my usual experience.

Try not to take it personally. It could be literally anything. I don't do OLD anymore, but if you're going to do it, you have to develop a think skin!

When I was OLD I dismissed people who may have been perfectly nice for all sorts of ridiculous reasons - don't like their hairstyle, shifty eyes, too blonde, don't like the wallpaper they're standing in front of (yes, really), look too young, look too old, too good looking... all sorts of reasons.

I think I was looking for a bit of a confidence boost as dealing with crap from the ex... it was for a couple of days, now sort of meh.

Itching to send a response.

Put a photo on your profile. Then only people who like the look of you will contact you. There's no point doing otherwise. It's all about chemistry. Good luck

I wouldnt worry about it op. You cant be everyones cup of tea. Hence why them cute old couples are still in love 50 years later and he says "shes still the most beautiful woman i have ever seen still." I am old and sometimes someone will chat to me and be super good looking but have blonde hair. Im not very attracted to blonde hair even though i find it beautiful and envy it and wish i too had blonde hair. Maybe i am just jealous

But yeah please dont spend any more time questioning it. If he was worth your time he would respond but he isnt. That aside i have a date tomorrow and im not very attracted but he seems nice enough.

Doesn't sound like OLD is for you to be honest. Hear loads of horror stories from friends being rebuffed, ignored, stood up etc. As a pp said you need to have a thick skin to go through it. No way I could handle it I take things too personally!

The exact same happened to me. Sent someone a photo and they blocked me straight away. No explanation or anything. I just tell myself I wouldn’t want to be with someone so rude anyway.

Itching to send a response to who? The guy who didn’t reply to your last message?

Lol enjoy your date Martha

I definitely need a thicker skin.

Thanks everyone x

When I was doing OLD, a friend said to me, “there are lots of men out there who don’t fancy Megan Fox”. It cheered me up!

Just remember it’s not personal. He doesn’t know you. You do need a bit of a thick skin at first. Try and look it as collecting some stories to tell with the girls in the pub until you meet a good one!

Don't look to a stranger to make you feel better. You shouldn't need a man to validate you.

This is why it’s better to put a photo in your profile.
Initially I didn’t and I got chatting to someone lovely and then I realised that by not having a photo initially if he then stopped talking to me when I sent him a photo he was rejecting me purely because of how I looked. It was then that I decided to put a photo on my profile because that’s the last thing I needed to deal with on top of the other craziness of OLD.

I agree with having your photo on your profile. Cuts down on that. And it could be worse. I put lovely photos of me on mine and some twat still sent a message asking "who iz ur mate shes fit".

I haven’t put a photo in my profile because my ex will have a field day slagging me off to everyone including our kids which he is doing at the moment (and a lot more besides).