To send my df a shitty text?

[smigglepiggle]

So, it's my birthday, understandably after a Bank Holiday the post is a bit skewed so cards from usual people haven't arrived yet. I have however had a text or a call from people as well.

Not heard anything from my dad at all. Not even a text. He has been on Facebook though posting random crap.

Dad is retired, near my house, will not be doing anything but sitting around watching tv and has quite clearly forgotten. He is old but has alerts set up on his phone so shouldn't forget to at least text me.

WIBU to send him a text at 10pm saying "Yes, why thank you for asking! I've had a lovely birthday."???

Stop doing all that then. You're never going to get what you need and want and all the effort you make won't change that. It just makes you resent the lack of affirmation more. Don't waste your time and worry over someone who isn't there for you.

So you aibu isn't about him forgetting your birthday it's about him forgetting your birthday being the final straw, in which case yanbu. It's always something fairly trivial which tips us over the edge

Thesearepearls was on the money then.
You should have put that all in your opening post and then we could have said, let it go, step back. Look after yourself first.......

Never received a birthday card from my Dad (lived with him until I left home at 18). He’s also never spelt my name correctly - when I corrected him, I am the unreasonable one! So completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s the total thoughtlessness.

Yeah, I didn't mean to dripfeed but it's hard to admit when you've been treated like a mug.

My mum always used to say I expect the best in everybody and my dad always chime in that people would let me down if I thought like that. Guess he was trying to hint towards the future.

I honestly don't understand why birthdays are such a big deal to so many adults. Children, yes. Once we're grown? Meh.

It was mine yesterday, I got two cards, one from my daughter and one from my partner. My mum didn't acknowledge the day at all, like you there is a whole back story. Every year I know she won't bother, every year I tell myself she won't send a card and that it doesn't matter, but every year it does just a little bit. I wish I had the relationship with her that she has with my sister but I don't and my sister helps to keep it that way. It's not the act of forgetting it's what has gone on before that hurts.

Belated Happy Birthday

Happy belated birthday @Haberpop

Happy Birthday (belated) Smigglepiggle.
Go celebrate the first day of the new less helpful you!
Raise a glass to your new mindset.
You have learned your lesson the hard way, but hopefully it will make you tougher

This is actually really sad OP. I have friends who have spend their whole lives trying to get their parent/s to love them, to care just a bit. They are the ones who do everything for their parent/s but it's always the absent sibling who gets the praise. For an adult child to feel as you do and to be effectively saying "please love me" to their elderly parent, indicates years and years of emotional conditioning. Please stick to your guns and distance yourself from your father.

My sister and I both have birthdays very close together and we always get a card, but never on the right day.

I'm afraid you're going to have to let him go. Stop running around after him if this is how he repays you.

Yanbu. Given all that you do for him and his partner, a birthday card is really not a lot to ask. He's treating you as his unpaid staff.

Based on your update, just back off and try to stop trying to please him. Get him the same as he got you for your birthday - absolutely nothing and no text. Maybe he'll get the message, maybe he won't. He clearly doesn't appreciate what you do, so I wouldn't bother frankly.