They took DS present back

[HelloToYou]

DS just has his birthday.
Grandparents brought presents to our house for him to open, didn't stay to watch him open them.
They asked for the presents back so they could keep them at their house for him to play with.

He has been going to their house 3 days a week during the school holidays and we have a great relationship with them, normally during term time we will see them at least once a week and they take him out alone once or twice a month.
Both gives me and DH time to ourselves, builds that bond with DS and his grandparents and they ask to spend the time with him so this works for everyone.

But I was very surprised and a bit annoyed that they asked for his birthday presents back, he won't be there during the week, just visiting a few hours at the weekends once he's back at school so he won't really get to make the most of them.

Aibu here to be slightly miffed?

I would gladly get shot of toys to other people's houses if I thought I could get away with it.

Sounds reasonable to me, as he will be there three days , it means he will enjoy his new toy with them

Has he any other toys that he can be distracted with in the interim til he gets there again?

Wouldn't bother me. First they bought the presents and want to see him enjoying them. Second, less junk for your house!

If they've given them as presents they shouldn't ask for them to be kept at their house.
How would you have felt if they'd said, we're not buying presents this year but we have got some things he can play with when he visits?

I think its a great idea, sorry OP!
They're not asking for them 'back', just to keep at their house, which makes sense.
They do a lot for you OP, be grateful.

I think they're doing you a massive favour, they need stuff at theirs to entertain DS and shouldn't really be expected to provide that on top of the free childcare. Surely DS has plenty to play with at yours already (especially after his birthday)?

Yabu, it’s a good idea that he’s got toys there to play with and I can’t see anything wrong with this

how old is he?

Also, IME kids get bored if toys are around all the time, this way the novelty will still be there when they go to visit GPs.

They could have given him the option but to just demand they stay there seems mean. Does he have toys there though or is it because he is bored there?

Sounds ok to me too. If he's very keen to keep these particular toys at home then maybe supply something else for him to keep at gp? My 2 always liked having special toys to play with at gran's house.

YANBU. Theyre his toys. Does he not get a say in any of this

Provided they didn't buy
a) Things he needs for school/homework
b) Things he can only really use at your house (eg: game for a games console, item for a collection where the rest is kept at yours)
c) The one headline item he is going to want to use 24-7 and be heartbroken to be parted from
Then they are being pretty reasonable

I would have loved it if the grandparents had done this for my dc. Then their homes could have looked like Toys R Us and not ours.

I think having toys at theirs is a great idea but really they should have asked which ones

Haha Frankie, I totally get that, we have a baby too which makes space tight but this wasn't the kind of space taking toys but was something he would play with regularly iyswim.

Porridge - this is the last week he will be there for 3 days, he starts school again next week so will see them a couple of hours at weekends until next summer.

He is 5, trust me he has loads of toys already at both their house and our house.
He's the oldest of 4 grandkids and the other 3 (not all mine, BIL & SIL had twins a few months ago!) are all under 1 so he has been spoiled.

It's not a massive issue, I guess I wish they'd gone about it differently, maybe invited us to theirs and then they could have seen him open his presents and said let's just keep them here for next time rather than bring them to our house, not stay to see him open them and then ask for them to keep at their house.

My parents have bought gifts for the DCs to have at their house but it had been discussed first. It was never an issue as the kids always seemed to have loads. Guess it depends on what the gift is, if it is something they will get pleasure from every day or grow out of quickly it seems daft for it to be there, if it's something suitable for less frequent use then it's fine for it to be there. I don't think they should be dictating but you should all be able to have a proper chat about it if you are close.

Your thread title makes it sound as if they took the presents away from your ds, rather than just want to see him playing with them.
Don’t be daft.

I buy my gd presents..often craft things. She always opens them but brings them to my house next visit and we do them together. Think her dps are glad not to have the mess as paint etc sometimes involved. Also l like to have things here so she is happy and has lots to do. Presuming yiur ds has lots of toys.
Its fine and maybe even to be recommended as too much stuff is overwhelming for a little guy. And your presents are not overshadowed.

This is surely a conversation they should have had before giving it to him. He'll be there a few hours a week, it seems a waste of a new present to only be allowed to play with iut for 2 hours a week

I agree, the whole way they did it is really strange!

It wouldn't bother me. I often try to leave presents at DM's so DS can play with them there.

I think it’s a good thing to do.
I’m planning on making it a rule that any of DCs toys bought by GP stay at their houses (we do spend quite a lot of time around each set of GP though).
Saves me having to keep them then store them for any future children

I'm forever 'forgetting' to take home toys from my parents house haha! I'd bite their hand off.

YANBU. But as the first few replies have said you are, expect the rest of the thread to be the same.

No one in RL would ever think it is reasonable to give a 5 year old presents then take them away, only for them to have them for a few hours of a weekend. No reason why he can't take some toys for those few hours.