Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take my mum around town?

54 replies

morecoffeepleas · 28/08/2018 13:23

I've been having growth scans every week baby is due in two weeks.
Mum has been coming with me because OH is at work and I need her to watch ds as he can't come into scans.

Every time we leave the hospital she suggests that we do something today was "can we just pop into town so I can go new look because I need some sandals". Sandals in this weather?

I'm absolutely knackered so I need to know if I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:
HeckinGoodDoggo · 28/08/2018 13:24

She scratch your back you scratch hers! She’s watching your ds, I think you could spare an hour surely?

LeighaJ · 28/08/2018 13:28

Unfortunately it seems like free childcare isn't actually free.

Bluelady · 28/08/2018 13:29

Believe me, the day will come when you wish with all your heart you could have a saunter round the shops with your mum. Cherish her while you can.

lornathewizzard · 28/08/2018 13:30

I think 38 weeks pregnant = tired and irritable (or I sure was!). But if you can manage physically I would, it's nice to spend time with your mum

jarhead123 · 28/08/2018 13:32

I think you could give up 1 hour? Just one time at least, to keep the peace?

Cheeseplantandpickle · 28/08/2018 13:33

Yanbu

LyndorCake · 28/08/2018 13:35

Is the hospital in town? If so, YABU.

CripsSandwiches · 28/08/2018 13:37

Can you not just be honest? Say I can if you really want but to be honest I'm exhausted.

schopenhauer · 28/08/2018 13:39

It sounds like she wants to spend time with you. That’s a nice thing. I’m sure you could spare some time on her, I found it pretty boring being heavily pregnant and on Mat leave and would have enjoyed getting out for a while.

FinallyHere · 28/08/2018 13:41

Could you stay at the hospital until after she has been shopping ?

GreenPimpernel · 28/08/2018 13:41

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Just tell her you're too tired.

Thehop · 28/08/2018 13:50

If she’s providing ‘free’ childcare you don’t seem to have much choice.

OrdinarySnowflake · 28/08/2018 13:51

Can she not come to your house to look after DS, rather than drag DS to the hospital with you? Or even drop DS at your Mum's house then go on to the hospital.

You don't need to make her come to the hospital with you, surely? If the hospital is in town, then I can see why she might want to do some jobs while she's there, the problem is that she's there!

RomanyRoots · 28/08/2018 13:51

if you are knackered when you leave the hospital offer to take her another time, or just manage an hour, maybe stay in the car with ds whilst she pops in, if this is possible.

lilyblue5 · 28/08/2018 13:51

No way would I be wondering around town at 38 weeks, I think I was flaked out on the sofa. Is she just wants to spend time with you suggest a coffee or something instead.

bigKiteFlying · 28/08/2018 13:52

I don't think it's unreasoable if you're absolutely knackered and if you tell her that she should understand.

Though if there are any coffee shops or like in town you could sit in and rest while she shopped - that could be a compromise. - though not if you actually need to sleep.

hmmwhatatodo · 28/08/2018 13:58

She’s coming with you to help you. Might be nice if you help her too?

Antigon · 28/08/2018 13:58

OP is due a baby in two weeks!! She's knackered and wants to be home, of course she shouldn't have to traipse through bloody shops.

OP, I would wait in the car for her (30 minutes tops) or just get a taxi and go home if mum wants to look in the shops.

No way should you force yourself to traipse through shops.

Believe me, the day will come when you wish with all your heart you could have a saunter round the shops with your mum. Cherish her while you can.

It's OP that needs cherishing right now, Bluelady!

Hogtini · 28/08/2018 14:02

Perhaps she just wants to spend some extra time with you before baby comes. Enjoy it, go for a coffee and cake if you're tired

Postino · 28/08/2018 14:24

I wouldn't expect my knackered, heavily pregnant dd to come shoe shopping with me

SuperVeggie · 28/08/2018 14:26

I would suggest an alternative so that she still gets a chance to spend time with you but without you having to get worn out going round shops etc. and to let her know that you appreciate her help with DS.

"I'm not really up to wandering around town at the moment Mum (my back is killing me etc etc) but it would be lovely to have a coffee with you if you'd like to come back to our place?"

NonaGrey · 28/08/2018 14:28

OP you’ve received some very odd answers. Since when was helping out your heavily pregnant daughter a transactional situation?

Best thing to do is to tell your Mum beforehand that you won’t have the energy for anything else. You need to tell her how tired you are.

Alternatively why do they need to come? Is it possible to leave your older child at your Mum’s house and pick him up afterwards?

Stillme1 · 28/08/2018 14:32

If the DM is driving OP to the hospital it is likely necessary that the DM goes to the hospital to sit with the DC while OP has the scan. Whether the DM is driving and babysitting or just babysitting I would hope that things go both ways. She goes with OP to the hospital and OP is willing to spend a short time in town. If it is a case of one shop buy what is wanted and leave that would be fine. I would not want to walk a very pregnant lady round 10 or more shops.
Try to exchange favours but don't keep count

NonaGrey · 28/08/2018 14:36

She’s coming with you to help you. Might be nice if you help her too?

In what world does a desire to look at sandals trump a heavily pregnant woman’s need to have a rest?

Numberofthemouse · 28/08/2018 14:38

bluelady really. Someone always pops up on these threads spouting that utter bollocks. By that logic you should bend over backwards for all as they'll die one day, and yes my mother's also dead.
That said OP, if your mum's carting your kids around while you have scans at least buy her a coffee.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread