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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I disgusting or is DH a tit?

60 replies

HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 06:56

I think DH is a tit. But just in case I'm wrong....

I cooked a Sunday roast including cauliflower cheese. All the cauli was eaten but there was some cheese sauce with a few browned bits left around the dish.

While cleaning up I scooped up some of the sauce along with the browned bits with the serving spoon and ate them. Everything then went in the dishwasher.

DH later said that he thought DD's boyfriend was "disgusted" by me eating the cheese sauce.

Surely this is a normal thing to do and he'a being a dick?

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 27/08/2018 06:58

totally normal, and you did it with a spoon, nothing the matter with that, but in company, i am not sure.

Nottotheirstandards · 27/08/2018 06:58

He's being a dick. Happy to help 😁

KlutzyDraconequus · 27/08/2018 06:59

How long had it sat there?

Not sure I'd say disgusting but not sure I'd do it unless it was just after serving.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 27/08/2018 07:02

The browned bits of cheese sauce scooped from the pan are the best part. YANBU, your DH doesn't know what he's missing.

Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:03

It had only sat there for as long as we were eating. We started clean up as soon as everyone finished eating.

It's not something I would do in front of dinner guests but I didn't think that DD's boyfriend would give two hoots.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 27/08/2018 07:04

What made him think dds bf was disgusted.

positivepixie · 27/08/2018 07:08

YABU. I do this. When I make cauliflower cheese and get to eat the whole thing because no-one else likes it, so the brown bits are all mine too. You'd often find me stood near the dish after the meal with a spoon, can't help myself. Same with edges of lasagne, mmmm.

DH is projecting and clearly thinks this is disgusting. I'd ignore him. I'm sure there are things he does that you don't like.

cariadlet · 27/08/2018 07:14

Sounds a perfectly normal thing to do - silly to waste leftovers.

But I don't understand the title of the thread. You said were you disgusting (of course not) or is DH being a tit. Your DH didn't say it was a disgusting thing to do (presumably you always do this and he has never mentioned anything before); he said that he thought that your DD's boyfriend thought it was disgusting (maybe he spotted dd's boyfriend watching you which you wouldn't have been aware of).

Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:14

Oliversmumsarmy absolutely bugger all. I didn't walk around with my mouth open parading it on my tongue. This would normally be such a non-issue and he's not above eating leftovers before they get binned or put in the fridge. I just think he was being a melodramatic twat.

positivepixie you are right, it's the best bit. He does do things I don't like, like passing judgement for things I do that aren't remotely important.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:16

cariadlet, we were all talking, I could see DD's boyfriend as I was doing it. I saw nothing to indicate he was disgusted so I'm not sure how DH came up with that statement, hence me thinking he's a tit.

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/08/2018 07:17

Those brown cheesy bits are the chefs perks!

He's a delicate little thing isn't he if he thought that was disgusting, jeez.

toomuchtooold · 27/08/2018 07:19

he thought DD's boyfriend was "disgusted" by me eating the cheese sauce

Oh man, have the courage to own your feelings! I suspect he wants to project an image of family life that doesn't include eating sauce off the serving spoon as you're cleaning up but he doesn't want to come out and say that directly in case you start taking the piss about him getting his elbows off the table and remembering to say grace, as I would endlessly

CripsSandwiches · 27/08/2018 07:19

WTF? Who would throw away browned cheese sauce? It's the best bit! DH is definitely being a tit - doesn't sound like the boyfriend was at al bothered and if he was it would be the boyfriend who was odd not you.

NotTakenUsername · 27/08/2018 07:19

Newish boyfriend or long term?

deepsea · 27/08/2018 07:19

Wow that is quite strong and unkind using the word to describe you as 'disgusting' the cauliflower cheese is a side issue I think you have (much) bigger problems op Flowers

Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:20

Holly he would agree they were the best bits.

Thinking about it, he doesn't think it's disgusting, he's done it himself. He's just being a picky little shit.

OP posts:
NadiaLeon · 27/08/2018 07:21

Do you remotely care OP?
This sounds remarkably trivial

Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:22

Newish boyfriend but didn't seem remotely bothered. DH is normally a vacuum cleaner when it comes to clearing up after dinner so just seems an odd thing for him to come out with.

OP posts:
Sunflowerr · 27/08/2018 07:23

I'm impressed you used the spoon and not your finger.

Was he referring to the fact you put a serving spoon in your mouth rather than to what was on it? Still silly.

brokenharbour · 27/08/2018 07:25

Sounds like he wanted to scrape the dish himself..

Original poster
HappenedForAReisling · 27/08/2018 07:25

Nadia yes, actually I do. I don't think I did anything particularly odd, let alone "disgusting" so I'm looking for validation that I didn't do anything awful and that my DH is actually a tit for calling it "disgusting" - something that I would think of as trivial and not worthy of the word disgusting.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 27/08/2018 07:26

If my partner said this to me I’d think it was code for “ I’m unhappy with things and I want to take it out on you “

Hassled · 27/08/2018 07:26

Is it that your DH is so thrown by his little girl having a boyfriend that he's reacting oddly? I know it can be hard - that realisation your DD is all grown up - could the weird cauliflower response be some transference of "I don't know how to handle all this change"? Or am I massively overthinking things?
And the burnt brown bit is basically what I eat cauliflower cheese for.

Clandestino · 27/08/2018 07:26

Your DH is a total tit. I love those brown pieces.

FinallyHere · 27/08/2018 07:27

DH is normally a vacuum cleaner when it comes to clearing up after dinner

Maybe, just maybe he really thinks this is a bad thing, so was trying to project a different image in front of DD new boyfriend. Fathers, daughters, sigh.