To think you should be with someone longer than 3 weeks before introducing kids?!

[user1487254694]

I will try and keep this as short as possible though I'm absolutely fuming! So me and my son's dad split up in March and he's finally moved on which I found out tonight and is fine I genuinely hope he's happy however I've found out from other people messaging me as he didn't have the balls to tell me himself! My son and hers have had playdates and she's put pictures on Facebook! I've asked him to tell her to remove them and to not put any more but am yet to receive a reply, he's also been buying her children clothes and things when I provide everything for our son even when he's at his though he does pay me some maintenance! When he dropped him back the other day my mom asked what they'd done and he said just chilled at home which is an obvious lie and something he does a lot! So aibu for thinking he should have waited longer to introduce our son? I'm really worried it will confuse him as he's only a baby

I do think it's reasonable to say you won't be supplying clothing or diapers or other supplies. Other than that, unless your DS is being harmed in some way, who he sees, what he does, and what happens when DS is on his father's time isn't really under your purview.

You and his dad decided that you didn't want to be together anymore. Realistically, that means that any time DS is with his dad his dad is responsible. Full stop. Apart from stepping in if harm is occurring, it's not your place to criticize.

YADNBU... They can't possibly know each other yet, or know how long their relationship will last
Very unsettling for your DC's They should always come first

That's my point! And I wish he would put his son 1st! It's all came to a head this morning and I think the new girlfriend has some serious issues so for now I've said she is not allowed near my son as I don't trust her and anybody who wants to say it's not upto me what he does then carry on but I'll protect my kids through anything and that's exactly what I'm doing now

Sorry to hear this update when it previously sounded like it was moving in the right direction. What do you mean by 'it came to a head'? You really can't dictate who your xp spends time with. You will be crucified if it goes to court. Do you think she's a danger to your child?

I've genuinely tried my hardest to make everything go as smoothly as possible and it's now just fell on deaf ears! She's been slagging me off to everyone who will listen and doesn't seem to understand I'm trying to protect my kid! His dad seems to finally be seeing sense after the massive argument this morning so hopefully the air is now clear and we can move forward and yes I do think she's a danger to my child which is why I've said she's not allowed near him for his safety

"She's been slagging me off to everyone who will listen and doesn't seem to understand I'm trying to protect my kid!"

I think whether she's right or wrong to talk about you to other people comes down to how you've set about 'protecting your kid'.

"yes I do think she's a danger to my child which is why I've said she's not allowed near him for his safety."

That is a big accusation, that she's a danger to children. Do you really believe that? In what way is she a danger?

You are in danger now of sounding like the unreasonable and jealous ex, using your child as a pawn.

You can't dictate who he spends time with unfortunately, but I would be pretty pissed off about the FB pictures. Can you agree that only you and him will post pictures?

i would do something about the money side though. If he can afford to buy clothes etc. for her child, he can afford to contribute more towards his own.

I wouldn't be bothered about the play dates. I'm sure you take him on play dates with other mums and he doesn't get confused and think they are his mum?

I would be bothered about the facebook pics (assuming you don't put pics of him online) and the lying. However I wouldn't go in "all guns blazing", just send him a message saying that you would prefer if his friends didn't put pictures of the baby on facebook.

Why do you think shes a danger?