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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to go to a BBQ because it’s pissing it down with rain?

61 replies

Lovemusic33 · 26/08/2018 13:13

I’m invited to a BBQ this afternoon, I don’t really want to go but said I would, it is pissing it down with rain but the host hasn’t cancelled. It’s likely that most peo0e won’t turn up and she will be disappointed which is why I kind of feel I should go but I also don’t want to go out in the rain and would rather stay in my pj’s all day watching crap tv.

Would ABU to not go? I know I would Sad

OP posts:
jelliebelly · 26/08/2018 13:35

If she hasn't cancelled then she obviously has good food waiting to be eaten - surely it will just be indoors instead? Very rude not to go.

category12 · 26/08/2018 13:36

You'll enjoy it when you get there.

CocoCharlie83 · 26/08/2018 13:38

YABU you didn't want to go originally and are just using the rain as an excuse. You should have just told them you didn't want to go when first asked, now they will have spent money on supplies for the BBQ expecting you which would go to waste.

I've had many BBQs where it was raining where I still used the BBQ outside to cook the food with my guests inside warm and dry.

katielouise3 · 26/08/2018 13:39

@LoveMusic33

You need to come on here to ask random people you don't even KNOW, whether you should go to someone's BBQ when it's pissing down with rain?! Confused

FFS, if you don't want to go then don't go! Just text her and say you can't come! I gather that you are not a child? Do you need permission? Hmm

Agree with previous posters though - you sound like a terrible friend who is just looking for a reason to not go. Rain would not stop me doing anything (if I wanted to do it!) Wink

bigbluebus · 26/08/2018 13:39

We are also off to a BBQ later - it is the host's birthday so not turning up would be most rude. I am feeling cold before I get there but just plan on dressing in layers and taking wellies as well as other footwear so that all eventualities are covered. I'm sure they will have gazebos or retire indoors. We are hoping that the rain will stop early in the evening as it moves further east.

As others have said, the host will have bought all the food so unless they say it is cancelled then I think you should go unless you are happy to fall out with the host

worstmotherintheworld · 26/08/2018 13:45

I would call and check that it is still going ahead, and if it is I would go. You say she hasn't called it off, but that doesn't tell us whether you have spoken to her or not.

Monday55 · 26/08/2018 13:49

she'll use the grill or oven. That's what I done in the past when it rained on my BBq day.
.
Cancelling on the day is piss take though. But do whatever you want.

Kokeshi123 · 26/08/2018 13:52

I would phone/text and confirm that it is going ahead and that there will be some kind of arrangements made for the weather! But yes, I would go--I think it's unfair to just not show up if you have said you will go and you do not have a good reason for suddenly canceling.

EdWinchester · 26/08/2018 13:54

Really rude not go unless the hosts cancel.

Hopefully, they will cancel because is there anything more tiresome than a rainy barbecue?

Starlings27 · 26/08/2018 13:54

Ha! We just postponed a bbq until tomorrow because it’s pissing down. So at least I know you’re not talking about ours!

QuitMoaning · 26/08/2018 14:00

I am hosting a BBQ today but only with about 10 of us. We have a covered area for cooking and then we shall eat inside.

It is about seeing people and working around the weather.

Got to go, first guest (my dad) had just arrived.

Loonoon · 26/08/2018 14:00

DSs 21st recently was a hog roast for 80+ people and I have never seen rain like it. The garden was full of fairy lights, flowers, candles, borrowed outdoor furniture and gazebos and nomone could put a foot outside . We ended up with all 80 crushed into the house with the stoical hog roast guys serving the food through the front door. I have a photo of two 80 + year old grannies eating theirs on the stairs surrounded by glammed up teenagers. It was a great party with many happy memories, I am glad no one cancelled because of the weather.

Ring your friend OP and see what she wants you to do.

XiCi · 26/08/2018 14:03

Why on earth don't you just call your friend and see what she's planning. It's likely she will move it inside. To just not turn up is really fucking rude

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 26/08/2018 14:06

What if everyone did the same as you and your friend had spent masses of time shopping, preparing, cooking etc. Not to mention the cost and then everyone cancelled.
If you say you’re going then you should go. Pet hate of mine people blowing out at the last minute especially with spurious reasons. Flaky.

Rebecca36 · 26/08/2018 14:08

The barbecue will probably be cooking under some sort of covering. My son barbecues in all weathers. You won't be expected to stand or sit outside in the rain. Up to you whether or not you go but it would be nice if you did.

TigerDroveAgain · 26/08/2018 14:10

BBQ is grim anyway so YABU for accepting in the first place

kaytee87 · 26/08/2018 14:11

*You fully well know you won’t be sat outside in the rain. You are just looking for a reason not to go.

Glad you are not my friend*

Yep, this ^ too.

Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 14:14

How would you feel if you'd worked hard and spent a lot of money and no one turned up? It's horrible. I know cos it's happened to me in the past. You don't bother if people let you down.

Whatsthispain · 26/08/2018 14:17

I love the assumption that it will be moved inside! That's what I'd do obviously, but not everyone, oh no! We have recently been to 2 bbqs where we sat shivering under a gazebo for hours staring longingly at the house! Fucking grim way to treat your friends.

BrokenWing · 26/08/2018 14:17

YABU if you cancel on the day due to a bit of rain which the host might be prepared for at this time of the year.

If you haven't spoken to the host it would be polite to call and confirm its all going ahead and if there is anything you can do/bring to help?

LetsGoBitches · 26/08/2018 14:19

Why don’t you call and ask if it’s still going ahead.

If you don’t call, she’ll prepare food, sit and wait for you all, and curse you all as everyone cowardly texts to say they have tummy bugs etc.

If you call and if she’s iffy, then she’ll be able to freeze the meat and have a nice day herself without the bother of guests!

Just pick up the phone and ask if it’s still going ahead? She might want to cancel it too!

Just put yourself out and call her... simple manners

thatwasalongweek · 26/08/2018 14:22

Of course you should go! They will have spent days clearing and cleaning, prepping and cooking, awful not to go unless they cancel first. Of course if they leave you out in the rain shivering for hours then I would be the first to say make your excuses and leave early but you do need to show up and show willing.

Alicatz66 · 26/08/2018 14:22

Ha ha !! People are glad you aren't their friend !
I wouldn't mind ... I bloody hate BBQs !

Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 14:26

you know you should go, how lazy

Heratnumber7 · 26/08/2018 14:38

You can't cancel on an afternoon BBQ at 1pm!! The hosts will have bought/made food, got the booze in, cleaned and tidied etc.
I think that would be really mean!