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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get the rage about a dropped Cheerio

41 replies

Happyhippy45 · 26/08/2018 11:38

Dh and DS almost daily will drop a couple on the floor at breakfast ......and not pick them up and put them in the bin unless I am giving them severe stink eye or I ask them to. This can also start an argument with dh as "I'm over reacting."
I have MS and mobility issues so I'm not able to contribute as I'd like to the running of the house. I do as much as I can which is slowly getting to be more as I recover from a relapse.
Picking up food from the floor can be challenging for me but if I leave it, it just gets trampled on.
They both leave everything lying and don't clear up after themselves. Don't clear their dinner plates into the food bin, don't put dishes in the dishwasher unless specifically asked to etc. They never wipe the kitchen counter, so when I go to make my food I have to clear up their shit first. So I'm using my limited energy on doing stuff they should be doing themselves. Everyday they leave the cereal box open on the kitchen counter. If I leave it, it'll sit there until it's finished then be tossed into the recycling not flattened down.
I know these are all relatively minor things but the cumulative effect is me becoming enraged over a dropped cheerio. I hate having to ask EVERY TIME for them to do any household task. We have had multiple conversations about this and they nod their heads and say they'll do it....but it doesn't last longer than a day.
Dh does our laundry and DS does his own and has done for years which as least one positive.
How can I get them to function like adults and be responsible for their own mess?

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 11:42

Get a grabber? (misses the point)

ChoudeBruxelles · 26/08/2018 11:43

We don’t have that problem. The dogs act as a very good hoover for dropped food

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 26/08/2018 11:45

2nd the dogs are a very good food hoover

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 26/08/2018 12:11

I've got a grabber. It takes skilz to pick up cheerios Grin

A dog? I'd love one in theory but reality would probably be that is it's just another messy bugger to clean up after Hmm

OP posts:
beaverbill · 26/08/2018 12:15

I don’t have any mobility issues thankfully but I have had the dropped cheerio rage twice already today! My DS appears to moult them rather like a dog moults hair.

So far today, I ranted about them in the living room and randomly in his bed! (He’s never had them upstairs!) I ranted about them yesterday and will probably do the same tomorrow.
I feel they may need to be banned!
OP you have my sympathy!

Confusedbeetle · 26/08/2018 12:19

All children over 5 should clear their own plates to the sink or dishwasher as a routine. Expect it to happen, eventually it will

Knittedfairies · 26/08/2018 12:21

Who does the shopping, or who orders the shopping? If it’s you, I suggest you accidentally forget the Cheerios. If not you, my clumsiness would probably knock the box into a sink full of water..

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 26/08/2018 12:24

Thankfully ours don't eat them any more, but when they were younger, we found them EVERYWHERE. All over the house, in the car, on the drive. I once found a whole one in DS's nappy. It hadn't gone through him, it had somehow gotten in there past his clothes.

KC225 · 26/08/2018 12:24

Rub their nose in it.

MirriVan · 26/08/2018 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

00100001 · 26/08/2018 12:26

This clearly isn't about Cheerios.

Why doesn't DH tidy up after himself?

GetOffTheTableMabel · 26/08/2018 12:37

MirriVan has it nailed. Everyone spills & drops things but, when they are aware that they have done it and they still fail to pick it up, they are effectively saying “I am too important to do this. I do not respect you so you can do it”.

ballseditupagain · 26/08/2018 12:37

You need to calm down. I regularly get the rage over this type of inconsequential thing and actually the only person harmed by it is me. You can't insist everyone that lives with you has your standards. And one Cheerio shouldn't be the biggest deal in your life right now. Your husband sounds a bit lazy but I'm a bit lazy sometimes and you probably are too. Why don't you get one of those robot hoovers. Or a dustpan and brush on a long stick. I have to hoover every time my kids eat to be honest otherwise it annoys me. But that is a bit of an overreaction on my part when I think about it rationally.

UpstartCrow · 26/08/2018 12:39

No you're not overreacting, they should be more considerate. You aren't the help.

ciderhouserules · 26/08/2018 12:46

Why should you have to pick up after them? Who'd do it, if not you?

The MS is irrelevant. Fit or not, you are not a servant. And ballsitup - it's unlikely to be ONE cheerio. It's the old scenario - 'She divorced me because I left the toothpaste top off/left my dishes on the side'. It'd piss me off too.

Elephant14 · 26/08/2018 12:47

Have some of the posters above missed the bit about the OP having MS?

Happy how old is your DS? And has your DH always been like this?

FidgetyFingers · 26/08/2018 12:57

Your H is a knob and unfortunately it looks like DS is mimicking him. Assuming he is preteen onwards if he does his own laundry?

Can you do a rota of chores which must be done so they get done without prompting?

You should certainly not be picking up after them but a long handled dustpan and brush is what you need so no bending or crouching necessary.

LuluJakey1 · 26/08/2018 12:59

Sprinkle a few dry Cheerios that have been minced to crumbs in their undewear and sock drawers and swirl everything around and enjoy their discomfort.

Pinga · 26/08/2018 13:20

Id sit everyone down. Ask them all how they are feeling about life at home at the moment. Id listen. Then I would tell them how I felt about things. What could be done to improve everyones happiness.
This is clearly about so much more than a few dropped cheerios.

We have a chore hour at about 5pm where everyone sorts out washing, hangs it out, puts it away, dries up, washes up, cooks tidies, cleans etc. Assigning chores and then assuming they will remember to do them without nagging doesnt work for us so we all just work on it at 5pm.
Often I write a list of chores i want done on a dry wipe board and ask people to assign themselves chores - whoever turns up first generally gets to choose first! No one sits down to eat until Im happy that we have reached a certain level of "no longer living in a cess pit" - works for us. I hope you manage to sort things out. xx

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 26/08/2018 13:22

@ballseditupagain It's not just about 1 cheerio. It seems the cumulative effect of years of them not picking up their shit.
I had fairly low standards when I was working full time and well. They are even lower now. I don't expect more than the minimum. They fail to do even that. No area of the house has been cleaned properly for 3 years. Think black mound in the shower, wood floors not mopped properly, hoovering not done in some rooms.....list is endless.
@MirriVan
I have had that conversation with my dh. It didn't resolve anything.

Dh has always been like this with domestic tasks. I was a SAHM for 14 years. He went to work. (Long hours, working away from home.) I did everything else. Rod for my own back and all that.
DS has always been a bit lazy in all areas, not just tidying up. He's 21.
I can ask DS to do anything and he'll do it. Maybe not with any enthusiasm but he'll do it and do it properly. Dh will protest that he has other important stuff to do and then faff about doing nothing. When he does do stuff he needs coached through it and doesn't do it properly. I don't comment on that though.

OP posts:
Pashazade · 26/08/2018 13:43

Presuming your DS works could he afford to pay for a cleaner as his contribution to the house. I'm sure it would help your recovery if that mental pressure was lifted?

Lavende · 26/08/2018 13:45

This is why I banned cocopops. Sick of the floor being crunchy.

Pashazade · 26/08/2018 13:46

Sorry just realised saying recovery sounded rather glib. I know it isn't something you get better from, perhaps return to your status quo might be a better phrase.

ballseditupagain · 26/08/2018 14:21

You need a cleaner. Desperately if there are parts of your house that haven't been cleaned in 3 years.

I have health issues which mean housework is hard for me. When it was really hard (as I'm getting better) we had a cleaner twice a week. We couldn't really afford it but went without other things because I wasn't capable of doing it and there was so much else I couldn't do for our family that my husband couldn't do it enough either. You sound like you are not coping and I hope things get a bit better for you soon.

CSIblonde · 26/08/2018 14:22

Don't buy them. They can have porridge, weetabix, toast etc. Can you afford to pay a cleaner every few weeks for a deep clean? If they're leaving toys everywhere & won't tidy, then that items confiscated for a week. And like Pinga said, chores list. Consequences if ignored.