Women being pitted against each other - ecs vs natural Labour

[Poptart4]

Firstly i dont care what way you have chosen to give birth. Its your body and whatever works for you is fine by me. I believe women should have the right to choose whats best for them. But....

I have noticed on these boards and others that whenever the subject of women choosing to have a c-section over a vaginal delivery comes up, the women who have had an elective c-section go on the defensive and start attacking and insulting women who've given birth naturally.

Comments like 'id rather have a section than a saggy vagina' or 'at least im not incontinent'.... And other nasty comments.

As a woman who has given birth vaginally 3 times including a forcep delivery i dont suffer from either and find the statements highly insulting.

Yes i know that these are possible side effects to giving birth and alot of people unfortunately do suffer but a lot don't. And why should the women who do suffer be put down for giving birth naturally.

Whats never mentioned is the bad side effects to having a c-section. I know a woman whose scar got infected and the poor woman spent 2 years with green smelly ooze leaking from her tummy. I know others who are left with a flap of skin hanging over their scar. I could go on but my point is there are pros and cons to both c-section and vaginal deliveries and women should be informed on both.

There is an article in a British paper today about ecs and the comments board is full of women pointing out the possible side effects to a natural delivery in a nasty way and again nothing is mentioned of the possible side effects of a c-section.

I just find it sad that women feel the need to attack each other. If your happy and confident with your decision then you shouldnt have to put other women down to justify your decision.

Why cant we just support each others right to chose without the insulting put downs??

@Poptart4 I have no children and have never given birth in any fashion, and I still think your thread is goady. Perhaps you didn’t intend it that way, but claiming that women who’ve had c-sections are defensive and make nasty comments, and then discussing things that can go wrong with c-sections certainly does not put you in the neutral, balanced view point camp.

I genuinely don’t understand why you care what other people think about the method via which you gave birth and the state of your lady bits afterwards OP. I’ll be having an elective c section next time and I couldn’t give one single crap what anyone else thinks about it. I also couldn’t give a crap about how anyone else chooses to deliver.

I really can't bring myself to give a shit about how other people give birth.

@rufus of course you can but why would you want to stay on a thread when you think the op is lying or a troll. I personally wouldnt waste my time

Because sometimes the thread isnt all about the original poster

Sometimes its interesting to see what other posters think

(Plus i can never tell if someone is lying or a troll...i generally give people the benefit of the doubt and im rubbish at spotting trolls, i just dont have a trolldar )

I have a little overhang & it pisses me off

Same here...

Thanks for the advise @dundee12 :)

Ok, I'll bite

I've done an advanced search for 'saggy vagina birth section' and guess how many threads come up which contain women insulting each other...

A big fat ZERO

So OP, either you have read these comments on another site, or you've fabricated them in order to write this thread and create the sort of bunfight that you're criticising women for having

How utterly bizarre

I think OP may be referring to comments I and others have made about how one of the reasons we chose a cesarean was to avoid the risk of vaginal damage done by natural births.

No where have I or anyone else to my knowledge, said that women who give birth naturally all have damaged vaginas or that they’re defective. We said that WE PERSONALLY didn’t want to risk it.

Do people choose how they give birth? Very few I imagine. It's pretty difficult to get an elective cs unless you have very good reason in my experience. I had two emcs, it certainly wasn't my choice but rather a medical necessity.

Do people choose how they give birth?

You can do. I chose to have a cesarean and it wasn’t a difficult thing to get passed but this depends on the trust.

Maybe don’t use terms like “natural birth” if you don’t want to be guilty of the same thing yourself...

I chose a CS 15 years ago with no argument from my Consultant. I thought things had moved on a bit and women were supposed to be allowed to make the decision themselves - although have heard not all trusts we’re compliant with this.

I’ve actually found the comments on here about VB v ELCS generally far more balanced than elsewhere online / in real life. There was an article in the Guardian recently about the right to a CS, prompted by the Birthrights report. The comments underneath were shocking. The most highly recommended ones were laced with innacuracies about CS (to the point of bare faced lies) with more than a hint of misogyny showing. And this was in what is meant to be a liberal, thinking persons’ paper... Although some people are occasionally twats about in on here, I’ve found the general tone to be overhwelmingly pro-women and their right to give birth as they choose.

I believe women should have the right to choose whats best for them. But....

Hmm yes very unbiased. Sorry but your whole post reads quite defensively. Like you have had vaginal births and feel superior to women who 'fail' to give birth naturally. Maybe you are a bit pissed off to have read some comments (not here, never seen it either) made by women who have had a c section? Maybe they felt defensive because they've been made to feel a failure for not having a natural birth and just had a swipe in the only way they could think. Neither attitude is admirable. Both seem to derive from a feeling of defensiveness. I just don't see what you were hoping to achieve in your post. It's definitely not said in the spirit of trying to bring women together etc. Too passive aggressive

Nope. This OP definitely berates women who’ve had an cs for attacking women who’ve had a vaginal birth.

Despite that, I’ll answer. Personally I couldn’t give a rats ass how you or anyone else delivers their baby. But I do know that my own pre natal care completely focussed on the risks of CS and never the risks of a vaginal birth. I’ve never had anyone who had a vaginal birth put me down for having a cs (2 of them), nor have I ever put anyone down for having a vaginal birth.

I haven’t seen anything like the sorts of comments you mention and have been on the forum for a good few years. Instead there are various sensible discussions. I have read more about potential risks of VBs on here than was ever told by a doctor, there are positive personal experiences of everything from home births to ELCS and women who suffered from different kind similar of births.