AIBU re being a bridesmaid?

[AnduinsGirl]

Hi all,
Hope INBU but willing to listen to all perpectives!
One of my oldest male mates is getting married to his partner (also male) of a year, and has asked me to be a bridesmaid and do a speech, which I'm very nervous about. So far, he's shelled out a LOT on the wedding, which is obviously his prerogative. He's asked 4 of us to be bridesmaids and wants us to have a very particular style of dress, which he has said he will pay for. He has made a whatsapp group for us and sent 7/8 dresses in this style, but they're all from dodgy FB links - you know, where the dresses cos £24.99 and come from China 8 sizes too small....He's said he doesn't want to spend much more than that on our dresses. Furthermore, he's asked that we do our own hair and makeup. I am not a hair/makeup expert, my daily look is very basic and I am really worried about the whole thing now. I'm size 22 so worried about finding a dress that fits as it is, but just feel I'm going to end up in front of 200 people looking an absolute mess.
Am I being a dick? Is it not normal to kit out your bridesmaids including hair, etc? If IABU I will pay to get hair/makeup done.

my wedding dress was from China (ebay). they were a relatively new seller so I knew they'd want to get high ratings to start with. it was like £20 I think and not bad at all.
sorry I don't know how to do that scribbling out faces thing so if just cropped any identifying stuff out and now my photos look weird but between them all you get the idea.
not all China dresses are bad, I'd just check the reviews

I’m paying for my BM dresses (£100+ each) and professional hair and makeup for them. It’s expensive, but I want them to feel good. Compromise is that I only have 2 bridesmaids!!

Could you book in to have your hair cut and blow dry the day before the wedding? I did this when a moh for best friend as am rubbish with hair. Felt fab for the wedding and just spent what I normally would on my hair.

With your make up could you go and get taught how to do it at a make up counter taking along a friend to take step by step pictures/ notes and buy a few products they recommend at the same time?

What do the other bridesmaids think about him ordering dresses from China?

My daughter had her bridesmaids dresses made in China, mainly because one of the bridesmaids was too big to fit in any British bridal shops / department stores. They were made to measure. They were amazing.

I'm going to be a bridesmaid soon and had similar issues initially. First the bride insisted we pay for our own dresses, shoes, hair etc, I pointed out that if she wanted specific style and colour dresses it was completely unfair to the bridesmaids, what if the dresses she liked were too expensive for us?
I also pointed out that she would be looking at her wedding photographs for (hopefully) decades and the bridesmaids would feature in a fair few photos. I don't see the point in spending money on things that are soon forgotten about ie wedding favours, and then scrimping on other things that are more visible.
Bride then decided she did want a specific style and colour for us and agreed to pay, good job because there is no way on Earth I would have paid for mine, I would have had to have bowed out - very expensive dresses!

I think your friend should be trying harder to make sure you feel comfortable op. Yes it's not your day but you are still on show to the whole place, and you have to make a speech. It's a big ask. Who wants their friend worrying about how they look and not enjoying the day because they feel self-conscious.

If you were my bridesmaid I would be making sure you were happy with all the choices. I don't think it's fair otherwise. He doesn't need to spend a fortune, he still gets the final say, but he does need to make sure you're happy.

He wants 4 bridesmaids but only wants to spend £25 on each dress? Oh dear.

He's not insisting on professional hair and make up so I don't see why he should pay for it. Its not as though your friend or his partner will be using a make up artist. Just do what you'd normally do if going to a wedding.
As for the dress, you could show him alternatives in his price range or offer to pay the difference.
Of course you could always decline to be a bridesmaid.

Is the next thing going to be that he and his other half will be arriving by hot air balloon/carriage pulled by 4 unicorns/teleporter, and you four have to get yourselves there in an Uber?

Thanks for the kind replies and non flaming :D
So, having started this thread, I remembered a woman I used to work with has set up her own business making dresses, particularly in the style that would go with this wedding. (Yes I am being a bit cagey but someone linked some relevant styles upthread!)
I've spoken to her and she's going to make me a dress for the very reasonable price of £150. I will hopefully re-use the dress so don't mind paying this. I'd buy double that if it meant I felt good and wasn't yanking and tugging at my dress all day! Hair and makeup I'll pay for myself. Appreciate the thoughts, everyone.

And NoFucks you look absolutely lovely there! Glad the dress turned out as you hoped.