AIBU to want to tell close family friend of new partners STI?

[sunstrokecity]

Recently found out two very close friends have started to meet up separately from the group, and friend A has told me they have both been discussing taking things further and possibly starting a relationship.
friend b confided in me a few years ago they had contracted Herpes. Made me promise to never tell a soul.

Friend A has recently got out of a very controlling marriage. Also friend A has 5 DC with ex that would become their soul responsibility due to nature of break up.

Friend A has only ever been in 1 relationship, ex DH.

Friend B has a track record of sleeping around, currently in long term relationship.

Problem is now I know they are thinking of taking it to the next level, and knowing that B hasn't told A of SDI, I feel like I owe it to A to tell them. But feel loyalty to B not to break their trust.

Agree with Perfect.

She's a grown adult, don't see why you're defending her awful choices. IMO they're both dirty skanks. Let them crack on.

I'd warn B that I was going to tell A & then do it. If he has a hissy fit & won't be your friend anymore, then no great loss, really.

Unfortunately she is unlikely to either believe you or take steps to protect herself

He sounds like a prize sleaze bag.

Friend A's right to an informed choice about exposing herself to the risks of a STI, trumps Friends B right not to be 'embarrassed'... and also trumps your right not to feel uncomfortable about telling her.

How many people have it is irrelevant really. Its a painful, life long, recurring, incurable sti that can be transmitted to your baby during childbirth, sometimes fatally

This is true, but honestly not for everyone. I had it at 16 and I've never had an outbreak since. It was horrific but I've been ill loss of times, been sectioned psychologically (stress), has a child vaginally etc (all supposed to be triggers for a potential outbreak) and it's never resurfaced. It varies incredibly in terms of pain and recurrence.

Me and my partner have never used a condom - he's never had an outbreak either.

Yes, you should tell them. But be prepared for the ignorance of "ew you're a dirty tramp" and then they dump you. It's hugely stigmatised.

@XiCi As I've already said, 1 in ten in UK have type 2, 6 in 10 have type 1. This accounts for oral and genital infections. So, we can't say exactly how many people are infected genitally with either type overall, but we can say it is at least 10% as almost all hsv2 infections are genital.

Yes, of course it is an sti but only about a fifth of carriers know they have it for a number of reasons, including the fact most people do not have classic blister symptoms.

Unless a woman catches it during her pregnancy giving birth is low risk as the baby will have temporary antibodies as protection.

Please stop scaremongering.

That said OP, if b doesn't want to tell a then you definitely should. She needs to know. He sounds like an arsehole.

I would just like to add that while there is no excuse for not disclosing, the huge stigma is one of the reasons why people are reluctant to do so.

I'm willing to bet that very few people with either asymptomatic or symptomatic oral herpes simplex (cold sores) disclose warn their sexual partners that it can be spread asymptomatically.