Help! I have to sleep with my husband!

[roundandroundthegardenlikea]

I don't mean the sex, as I've been visiting him in the spare room for that, I mean the actual sleeping

We have a baby and from day 1 DH has slept in spare room as I didn't see a need for us both to be up all night every night. DD has been a terrible little sleeper but has gradually improved and the time has come when DH and I really should share a bed again, at least at weekends. DD is still in my our bedroom for now

The thing is, I can't sleep next to DH without earplugs; he's not a snorer but does breathe heavily (as most of us do when asleep!) and I just can't sleep! I'm also not comfortable with earplugs in case DD stirs, and I can't trust DH to wake me if he's had a few beers

Help! This is sort of lighthearted, I know IABU and I will have to just get over it and on with it

This is EXACTLY our problem. We don’t have a spare bed so I sleep with earplugs but dd is right next to me in our bed so I’m managing.

Dh making noises about her going in her own room and I know it’ll just mean no sleep for me 😭

Sounds awful, but I used to sleep with one earplug in (DH side ) and one ear open (DD side). Wasn't ideal, but better than nothing. Carried on with that even when DD went into her own room, just kept the monitor or my 'open' ear side.

I’m in the same position OP. Toddler is still a shit sleeper so I’m safe for a while but it won’t last forever.

Think you’ll be able to prioritise what you need to hear now you’re a mummy....

Both DD and DH snore/purr in their sleep, I find it quite sweet hearing them both “hawk swee” together...

I did the one ear plug thing as well. I sleep on my side so I slept with the no plug side down. I heard every snortle from DS but it blocked out (ex)DP pretty well. We’re hard wired to respond to our children making noise, you’ll hear yours

Honestly you’ll still hear baby if you use earplugs. I started using them when DS was about 3 weeks old as I could not deal with all the snuffling and grunting. As soon as he stirred I would wake. I still use them now and can hear him on the lowest volume setting on the monitor. It just blocks out the random whinges and turning over and DH breathing!

I can sleep through all of dp sleep noises as my daily challenge is sleeping through dss screaming and singing and banging. I think you'll get used to them both. I advise against ear plugs it gave me impacted ear wax issues. Good luck reintroducing yourself to your dh!

White noise machine. It’ll drown out the gentle noises but you’ll still hear the important ones

The secret to my happy 20 year marriage - separate bedrooms. DH also snores and I simply can't sleep in the same room as him. Also I've come to value my own space in my own bedroom. Doesn't mean you can't have sex, you just have to plan it a bit more!

There's no 'Law' that you says you have to share a bed, plenty of happy couples have separate rooms. The only time DH and I share a bedroom is if we are on holiday (in a hotel - if s/c we make sure we have separate rooms ).

He snores because he's been drinking

the time has come when DH and I really should share a bed again,

Why? If I were you I would just stay as you are.

I dont think earplugs mean you wont hear the baby. I wear them every night and they block out noises like breathing and snuffling but they wouldnt block out crying and probably not snoring either

Why do you have to share a bed again when you sleep better separately and have the space to do so?

What law have I missed?

Suck it up sister - at least you don't have to sleep with mine

The man with granite toenails and pointy elbows of steel, and who somehow manages to stab me with them in the middle of the night...

Another one with a lovely DH with his own room, never been on the same sleep cycle, so many rows averted by space. :-)

No law, but we sleep separately and the few people I know that I've mentioned this to, seem horrified! Especially SIL. They think we're weird and our marriage isn't 'proper'. That we have no intimacy.

Yes, we're not all over each other but we have a solid relationship, thanks

I think now youve slept separately you will see how minging bed sharing is. Dont want someones juices on my sheets although when my kid has weed in the past i may have been known to stick a towel on it and go back to sleep

I had the same issue with my DH - slept in a separate room with baby and found it more restful than sleeping with DH. We still have separate rooms 6 years later!

My marriage would have ended years ago had we continued sleeping in the same bed. We are very happy having separate rooms. We have even been known to book two hotel rooms if we're at a budget hotel.

My parents didn't share a room for 20 years. My late dad's snoring has variously been described as sounding like a power tool demonstration, a warthog riding s lawnmower and a nuclear blast.
It suited them both - the only time that they slept near each other was at the end of his life.

There is no law that says you have to share a bed. Ive had my own room for years.

Yes there are those who can't sleep unless they're wrapped around their bloke but it doesn't have to be the done thing. It was more of a necessity by product from long ago when people were squished into houses.

"I'm also not comfortable with earplugs in case DD stirs, "

Please tell me what earplugs you have that would prevent you hearing this!

Another vote here for continuing in separate rooms