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Original poster

To think you can be teetotal and have a great life

98 replies

Spinderelle · 25/08/2018 03:36

In response to the research yesterday that suggests that no alcohol is a safe amount to drink.

Whether or not that’s true, I’ve been struck by the amount of people saying since that they’d rather live a full life than a boring joyless existence abstaining! I understand how much people enjoy a drink but just want to put the teetotal case - I’m teetotal because I simply do not like the taste of alcohol or the way it makes me feel and I have a very full life and plenty of fun on nights out. It’s the idea that you cannot have fun without a drink that’s very prevalent in our culture. Wondered if any other non drinkers had noticed this.

OP posts:
Biologifemini · 25/08/2018 09:12

I am a light drinker so I will have 1, max 2 drinks on a night out. My friends don’t care but acquaintances act as if I have some sort of medical condition. It is just a brutish cultural thing.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/08/2018 09:14

I don't drink alcohol but I don't class myself as TT because I use it in some cookery ( Christmas cake and marzipan)

I had MIL trying to get me to have a NYE drink (I refused over and over) when I was driving her DS (my DH) and her GC (my DC) home the next day. I have zero alcohol tolerance and even a small amount will affect me .

Hmm

I just ignore .

Makegoodchoices · 25/08/2018 09:15

I get a lot of hassle about not drinking on nights out. Very occasionally I feel like it, much more often I don’t. It seems to really offend some people to have a non-drinker around.

Frosty6611 · 25/08/2018 09:18

My Sister is a big drinker and I always see the disappointment in her eyes when she offers me a drink (about 100 times) and I always say that i’ll stick to my soft drink. She’s always going round the room topping everyone’s glasses up with more wine even when they don’t want it. Drives me mad!

NoelHeadbands · 25/08/2018 09:21

There are huge swathes of the world where people don’t drink alcohol at all and they seem to do okay. Children often manage to have a pretty good time without it as well!

I got some raised eyebrows when I gave up, but now no one bothers at all.

pippop1317 · 25/08/2018 09:23

I don't drink alcohol. I haven't for probably 10years. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. It bothers others. At a recent bbq, I was repeatedly asked to try or have the drinks and I kept saying no. It's like it became their mission.
I don't drink because I simply don't like the taste of alcohol.

Bimgy85 · 25/08/2018 09:45

Well for most here in Ireland majority of people people know drink quite often. And often is our only form of socializing in ways! Especially for a lot of younger people

bluemascara · 25/08/2018 09:56

@Bimgy85 why do you say that? I'm in Ireland too and there are many different ways to socialise. It's peoples attitudes towards drink and the need to have it at the centre of everything that makes it hard to socialise without it.
When my youngest was christened we had an alcohol free christening and had a lovely day! My eldest 2's both ended in carnage! Granny takes the baby home, adults party kind of set up. It sickened me to be honest. It's a child's christening ffs!

WaitingForSunday17 · 25/08/2018 14:19

I can’t drink for medical reasons and it is depressing.
I am taxi to everyone else who is drunk and having fun. I end up paying extra each time I go out and we split the bill as I end up paying a share of everyone else’s drinks when I’ve just had a coke. And I get accused of being boring.
I would absolutely drink if I could

Bimgy85 · 25/08/2018 15:40

@bluemascara well you kind of answered your own question. In other countries having an 'alcohol free ' christening wouldn't be a big deal, it would come naturally. In Ireland we feel like we're doing ourselves a favour for 'not drinking' it's engraved into us, we're mostly a culture that can't have fun without alcohol!

happypoobum · 25/08/2018 16:03

A quarter of under 25's in the UK are tee total. In London that figure is slightly higher.

Drinking alcohol is seen as "what our parents did" and quite old fashioned.

My DC are young adults and drink very rarely, far far less than my generation did at their age, and a lot less than we all do now Blush It's just not cool any more Grin

toomanychilder · 25/08/2018 16:06

Whether or not that’s true, I’ve been struck by the amount of people saying since that they’d rather live a full life than a boring joyless existence abstaining!

I don't really see your point. They aren't saying no-one can have a full life being tee total, they are saying they don't feel like they would.

I'm sure I could be perfectly happy without a drop, but I choose otherwise. And yes, I would rather be dead at 70 living a life with gin and champagne and craft beer and cheese and pate and fried foods than I would living to 98 with none of that.
My choice, not yours.

MissConductUS · 25/08/2018 16:11

I've been a non drinker since age 34. It's been better for me, by far, than when I was drinking.

It's just not cool any more

I agree, my teenagers have no desire. Recreational marijuana is rapidly becoming legal in the US and I think that will be more the thing.

SmilingButClueless · 25/08/2018 17:03

I’m not teetotal but a close family member has always been a non-drinker (doesn’t like the taste) and the amount of judgement they have been on the receiving end of over the years is ridiculous.

Some drinkers appear to feel threatened by other people’s choice not to drink and go on the attack immediately, even when there’s absolutely no sign of them being judged themselves. Not entirely sure why.

hellokittymania · 25/08/2018 17:08

What the F? I live a very full life and I don't drink at all. I love coffee instead. I think peoples realities can get really messed up. It's like those who think having a disability makes life not worth living. I have a disability and I do lots of things, I have been to many many places, done plenty of things that not many people without a disability have. Drinking is not the be all and end all. You can have a great life without beer.

AnnDerry · 25/08/2018 17:15

DH and I don't drink (don't like the taste and alcohol can aggravate a medical condition I have). People are weird about it sometimes, but not as weird as when they find out we don't drink coffee or tea either. "But what do you drink?" they keep asking. Apparently my answer (water and the occasional diet cola when I need a caffeine boost at work!) is not acceptable.

Add in the fact that we are both veggie and we're practically social outcasts. Basically we had to marry each other as nobody else is quite as odd as us apparently...

DiabolicalMess · 25/08/2018 17:21

My dad was alcoholic and I inherited his highly addictive personality so I avoid drink - I'm not exactly t-total - I might have a glass of wine on my birthday or baileys at Christmas, but I do find it necessary to avoid alcohol generally, and yes I have a nice life. I don't feel like I am missing out when I go out.

chronicallyawesome · 25/08/2018 17:35

My mum was an alcoholic and I was determined not to drink. But... I went from one at Christmas when I was in my early 20s and was admitted life threateningly ill at 30. I'm sober now, have had a few relapses, but 18 months now.

I have other health problems too but I still have a good time. People often abstain around me - I would never ask them to though and have brought up the issue with friends to say I'm really ok about it.

It saddens me how much damage it does. I appreciate that people are culpable but I think that the human brain is hard-wired to find something that gives a dopamine kick and do it again and again and again. It takes a strong or desperate person to break it.

By comparison my life is really good now.

TheMythOfFingerprints · 25/08/2018 17:58

Another teetotaller here who is sick of being asked questions like it's the strangest thing they've ever heard.
And like others, the constant droning on about just having one.
It's really not me that's boring.

funinthesun18 · 25/08/2018 18:05

I find people who constantly need to have a drink or who go on about drinking as if it’s the best thing ever quite exhausting and irritating to be honest.
I’m not on about alcoholics, but the people who can’t go out without having a drink/think they can’t have fun without having a drink/think other people are boring for not wanting to drink. Everything is all about alcohol all the time.

I do drink on the odd occasion but I don’t think every event needs revolves around it.

Jitters22 · 25/08/2018 18:12

Alcohol is a poison. As soon as you put it into yourself, your body works to get rid of it, as fast as possible. It damages organs - heart, liver, pancreas, stomach, and can increase risk of stroke and certain types of cancer. It can also weaken the immune system making you more vulnerable to infections.

It is a powerful intoxicant that interferes with brain function and the central nervous system, changing mood, behaviour, co-ordination and memory.

And yet everywhere you look people are drinking. Wine drinking in the evenings, weekends ... is as normal as having a cup of tea. Getting pissed is laughed and joked about, hangovers - the proof of the damage you have done to yourself - as seen almost as a rite of passage.

Where is the good in it? I just don't get it? Seems to me it's not the teetotallers who are 'strange' it's the drinkers.

Jaxhog · 25/08/2018 18:44

2 things bother me about not drinking (i rarely drink)

  1. being asked to 'go halves' when eating out and the other party had several bottles of wine etc.
  2. going to events that only serve prosecco/champers, fruit juice or warm tap water. As a Diabetic, that means I get to drink the warm tap water. Lovely.
goodgirls · 25/08/2018 18:46

Alcohol is a poison. As soon as you put it into yourself, your body works to get rid of it, as fast as possible. It damages organs - heart, liver, pancreas, stomach, and can increase risk of stroke and certain types of cancer. It can also weaken the immune system making you more vulnerable to infections

maybe. There's also plenty of evidence that alcohol is good for us. The longest lived and healthiest communities in the world drink alcohol.

stevie69 · 25/08/2018 18:48

Well ..... I'm TT. And my life rocks.

So, based on a sample size of one, you're not being unreasonable.

I do have other vices, though Blush

museumum · 25/08/2018 18:57

I know plenty of people who don’t drink ever or who don’t for a period of sports training or because they choose to drive. Almost everyone gives up drinking while pregnant.

But saying “I don’t drink because I don’t like it and it’s no hardship” is a bit self evident is it not!!
If I didn’t like chocolate then giving it up for ever would clearly be no hardship either.
But to go out for a delicious restaurant meal and say no to a complementary wine IS a hardship if you love wine.
Or to turn down a cold beer at a summer bbq if you really love beer.

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