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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed by this observation.

29 replies

Horridhenry88 · 24/08/2018 23:18

That when in hotels it always seems to be mum's sorting food and drink out for children.
The father's seem to sort themselves out but nothing else.

OP posts:
stillnotTheDoctor · 24/08/2018 23:19

Because that's what men do.

Oobis · 24/08/2018 23:20

In a similar way that mums coordinate sickness and holiday childcare regardless of work commitments?

Cardiganandcuppa · 24/08/2018 23:21

Not in our family it’s not. We both sort them out. Cos we’re partners.

Set the tone you want to see :)

RedneckStumpy · 24/08/2018 23:21

Because men are predominantly the breadwinners therefore often have business trips, so go into autopilot in a hotel.

Artichoke18 · 24/08/2018 23:22

Yeah. Dh reads his menu in a restaurant, makes his own choice and sits back. Every Single Time I ask him “what will the kids have?” just to remind him. Angry

Camomila · 24/08/2018 23:23

On the plus side baby swimming is almost all dads.
As is ‘some kind of sport’ lesson on Saturday followed by lunch in McDonalds.

sdaisy26 · 24/08/2018 23:24

Not the case for us. Away right now & dh & I tend to take 1 dc each. Divide and conquer.

NerrSnerr · 24/08/2018 23:24

We tend to man mark, so one will sort one and one the other. Especially when it's a buffet.

Bloodybridget · 24/08/2018 23:24

I don't think most men have business trips involving hotel stays. And the majority of women with children also do paid work (some may even have business trips, gasp).

Oobis · 24/08/2018 23:25

Dads maintain bikes, cars and put bins out? Mums do birthday and Christmas shopping? Could just be my house... dad does dishwasher in mine too, and some washing/putting away. Although I prefer to do that so it's done properly. He doesn't iron unless he's short of a shirt to wear immediately.

Nakedavenger74 · 24/08/2018 23:25

What rot @RedneckStumpy. I spend half my life in hotels on business and have never 'gone into autopilot' when in a hotel with my DH. Never mind when on holiday.

DramaAlpaca · 24/08/2018 23:25

It wasn't the case for us. DH & I have always shared the parenting.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 24/08/2018 23:26

RedneckStumpy
Because men are predominantly the breadwinners therefore often have business trips, so go into autopilot in a hotel

I don't even know where to start with this.

RedPandaMama · 24/08/2018 23:27

I wouldn't say just in hotels tbh. Everywhere we go e.g. parents for dinner, IKEA for breakfast, Costa, etc it's always me sorting food out for DD. DP is very reluctant to share with a greedy one year old without a lot of pushing from me so I usually end up giving half my meal away and doing all the making sure she isnt shovelling so much bread into her mouth she chokes feeding.

Artichoke18 · 24/08/2018 23:28

Yeah it’s only businessman who do this, never plumbers, teachers, clerical assistants, farmers etc

garethsouthgatesmrs · 24/08/2018 23:32

Wow what a lot of misogynistic bollocks there is in this thread already. I am female but if I were male I would be furious at being presented the way some women have presented men here.

Although I hope oobis was being ironic

OP maybe you need to stay in different hotels. The one we stayed in this summer had lots of men looking after their kids but it was only 3* so maybe that's it.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 24/08/2018 23:34

But RedPandaMama why do you accept this?

RedPandaMama · 24/08/2018 23:35

I don't accept it really, we've had a lot of words about it recently, it was probably a bit of a bitchy post as he is trying more now.

Samcro · 24/08/2018 23:36

nah
dh always helped/shared care
and we has a severe sn child\so no not all mums. just some

palmtree1 · 24/08/2018 23:38

Sorry disagree - we have 3 children, eldest sorts himself out with help if needed and we both sort out one child each.

We both sort out sickness etc too. I fact I'm here reading mums net as one child has woken up and husband has gone to put our little girl back to bed

thejeangenie36 · 24/08/2018 23:40

Well either my gender is seriously disappointing or some of these comments are tosh. My wife and I sort out our children at mealtimes equally. I haven't noticed my male friends with kids stepping back from this either.

Not all men are lazy or feckless. When you stereotype men in this way it's very annoying to those if us who do try to break out of traditional gender roles. It also attributes poor behaviour as an inevitable consequence of gender and so unfixable, when in practice the man needs educating or is being an arse.

thejeangenie36 · 24/08/2018 23:41

Oh, and I've never been on a work hotel stay in my life!

SuperstarDJ · 24/08/2018 23:43

This isn’t my experience tbh. DH sorts the DC out just as much as I do.

WomblingWoman · 24/08/2018 23:49

When the kids were small it was usually pretty equal tbh.

As a generalisation I'd tend to start the kids off as it were but that's mainly as I eat a lot more slowly than DH, so he'd start to eat whilst I sorted the kids initially and then takeover and then I'd enjoy my meal interrupted - which suited us both.

However where that wasn't appropriate (type of food/restaurant/children's age/tantrums) we'd generally divide and conquer looking after a child each.

I'd say amongst my friends it's fairly equitable split also when we've be out/holidays together - not necessarily the same way DH and I used to do but equitable none the less.

StandardLampski · 24/08/2018 23:52

Last time we are out as a family, I had to take the baby to change nappy asap, and left him to order food for all the kids. Never again. The most random concoction of things, and all vaguely healthy (it wasn't planned, and after a frazzled day I would have happily let them eat fish fingers and chips or whatever, not whingeing about it) I'm happy to retake this one!