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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend and her DH dropped out of going to a show, passed tickets to a couple we don’t know

63 replies

TheSconeOfStone · 24/08/2018 21:40

An old friend of mine suggested going to a comedy show with our DHs. Tickets bought early in the year. She bought them I transferred the cash. Show is soon so I mentioned I was looking forward to it. She sheepishly mentioned they have since been invited to a wedding and have sold their tickets. It’s OK though because they’re a really great couple and we’ll get on with them.

I have recently lost a parent and I’m exhausted and probably a bit depressed. I don’t want to be stuck with friends of friends I don’t know. AIBU to have preferred her to actually tell us about the wedding when she was invited and given us the opportunity to sell her tickets people we already know?

OP posts:

FairiesAndChocolate · 24/08/2018 21:42

YANBU

NapQueen · 24/08/2018 21:43

Yanbu.

AtrociousCircumstance · 24/08/2018 21:44

YANBU. Thoughtless arses.

itswinetime · 24/08/2018 21:44

Yeah that's a bit off she should have said something and either tried to sell all 4 or as you say let you see if you could find someone you know! I'd be pissed if my mate did that to me! Without having recently lost someone! Very poor on your friends I think

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 24/08/2018 21:45

But won't there be lots of people there you don't know?
You don't actually have to spend the evening with your friend's friends.

Sorry about your parent - I lost mine a couple of months ago too

ScreamingValenta · 24/08/2018 21:45

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, OP .

I think she should have given you first refusal, in the circumstances - they were the ones letting you down.

However, do you have to have much to do with the other couple, if you're watching a show? I would be tempted to view it as a night out with my husband, and if the other couple were nice it would be a bonus - but I wouldn't plan on more than the briefest of interactions with them.

Medea13 · 24/08/2018 21:46

I think you're being a bit sensitive. While i understand it's disappointing not to have an outing with your friends, you are not left going alone and, i presume, you also needn't interact with this other couple of you don't want to. Even if the seats are all together, presumably someone will have had strangers on one side them anyway. And taking another spin on it, you might make another couple friend!

Floralnomad · 24/08/2018 21:46

I don’t see what the problem is really or is it a comedy dinner thing and you are a table of 4 ? If it’s in a theatre I can’t see the issue .

NewIdeasToday · 24/08/2018 21:46

Surely it will be just like any other show when you don’t know the people sitting next to you? No one expects you to make friends with the audience.

Original poster

TheSconeOfStone · 24/08/2018 21:48

I’d be happy to ignore the other couple and enjoy the evening with DH but my friend has mentioned what a great couple they are and what a great evening we will have with them 🤔. Shall I pass on the message we don’t want any social interaction? I don’t even want to think about anyone else to be honest. Total strangers I can cope with no problem.

OP posts:

SassitudeandSparkle · 24/08/2018 21:49

Sorry for your loss, OP. But agree with previous poster, you generally sit with people you don't know anyway at the theatre, what is is about this that is worrying you?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 24/08/2018 21:50

Sorry I’m not seeing the issue either. I can understand a bit of disappoinment in it being no longer a foursome night out, but you and DH can go out together can’t yiu? You just give a quick friendly wave and a hello to the other people in the seats thT your friend woukd have had with her DH.

Original poster

TheSconeOfStone · 24/08/2018 21:53

I suppose I’m annoyed about being let down, not for the first time by this friend. Also annoyed that she has not been honest about this as she must have known months ago. We could have had a fun evening, meal, show, drinks with a couple of other friends if we had had the opportunity to sell the tickets.

OP posts:

SassitudeandSparkle · 24/08/2018 21:55

Is it the bits before and after the performance then OP, you were planning say a meal before and drinks after? Probably fine in the circumstances to say that you'll just meet them at the theatre then and head straight home afterwards even if you go out for a drink/meal yourselves

I can see it is more annoying if it's not the first time something like this has happened with your friend. Avoid similar outings with that friend in future!

keyboardkate · 24/08/2018 21:57

Wonder why they did not ask if you wanted to take two people instead.

Anyway, just go and enjoy the night, forget about being forever friends with the subbies. It is what it is now, so just nod and smile and enjoy the night. The subs are NOT your issue. Just do the usual smile and hello there.

Then again, you never know, they could be great fun and your new friends for life!

But I have to agree, forced niceties are NOT easy!

AspieHere · 24/08/2018 21:57

YANBU. This would ruin the evening for me and I'd be dreading it.

TroubledLichen · 24/08/2018 22:00

So you’d arranged to go together and she didn’t tell you they could no longer make it until you said you were looking forward to it, even though they’ve known for months?! I think that’s a really shitty thing to do! I don’t understand how people think that’s reasonable way to behave. And it also would have been nice if she’d given you the first option of finding someone else to buy the tickets so you could have gone with other friends but she bought them so ultimately it’s her choice what she does with them I suppose. But still it’s really shitty, I’d be annoyed too.

PrivateDoor · 24/08/2018 22:02

OP you will have fun with dh. They should have definitely told you sooner since they had arranged the flipping night but they shouldn't have asked you to sell the tickets yourself. Of course you don't have to interact with a couple of randomers sitting next to you in the theatre!

Original poster

TheSconeOfStone · 24/08/2018 22:03

She has let me down a lot bit I’m never sure if I am being over sensitive. I’ve backed off a bit and built up other friendships but was pleasantly surprised when she suggested it. I will never learn.

OP posts:

category12 · 24/08/2018 22:03

I doubt the other couple are anticipating spending time with you either. She probably just said the "great couple, you'll get on" stuff to make to sound better to herself so she didn't feel guilty about dropping out. Don't worry about it, just enjoy your evening with dh.

toomanychilder · 24/08/2018 22:04

Why can people not see the problem? They haven't just sold the tickets on, they have sold them as promised the company of OP and her partner as part of the package.
Of course OP doesn't have to give it, but it will be awkward and uncomfortable sitting next to them if she doesn't.

category12 · 24/08/2018 22:04

But she sounds generally a bit flaky and like she's upsetting you lots, so you should probably distance yourself.

Oddcat · 24/08/2018 22:05

Has she told the other couple that you'll all be travelling to the venue together , having drinks or a meal together ? If so , I'd be pissed off too .

Lalliella · 24/08/2018 22:05

Become best friends with them and Wendy the original couple!

Cherrysherbet · 24/08/2018 22:07

Hopefully they'll be a lovely couple, then you can be friends forever, kick the other 'friends' to the curb and flaunt your fabulous nights out with your new friends for them to see (as they won't be invited).

This woman was bloody rude op. YANBU. Can't believe the cheek of her.

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