Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

kids left in car in car park/called Police

158 replies

Delilah21D00LoT · 24/08/2018 21:17

Just wondered if you would have called the police or 'turned a blind eye'.

Tuesday this took place:

12:55 DIY store car park two little boys (4 & 6 sitting in an unattended car when I came out of store.

So 15 mins later I went into store to ask for call out. Which they did to no result.

I Couldn't get through to Police on 101 but managed to get through on web chat.

13:25 blues and twos arrived.

13:40, Dad comes out of store and was very 'casual' tried to blame the kids by saying they didn't want to go into the shop 😡.

Police chaps also noticed that neither boys had car seats! To which the Dad went on about they usually use them, but due to his shift work he was too busy.

Police took my details and then I left them all to it and headed home.

Was I wrong to call the Police?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 25/08/2018 13:58

Those of you who think that cars don't spontaneously combust - tell that to the FireBrigade who attended to a fire in a zafira on my estate a couple of weeks ago! Whole car was burnt out in minutes - and we live around the corner from the fire station with 2 of the firemen living only doors away from the fire. Fortunately there was no one in the car at the time.

I think there is a big difference between leaving the children in the car for 5 mins whilst you pop into a small shop and can still see the car from the shop and leaving them for 45 mins whilst going into a huge DIY store.

I think you did the right thing OP especially as you knew they had been there for some time and no one had responded to the call for the car owner on the tannoy.

TeaAddict235 · 25/08/2018 14:43

@CheshireChat yes yes very true. I can't make a sweeping statement for all of Germany and France, but they definitely believe that constant supervision actually hinders development at some point. The things I've seen little children (under 10) do, like selling at car boot sales alone (parents at home, will be back to help clear up), or pick up other siblings from nursery , it makes me reassess the UK and safety. Then haven't you noticed how responsible teens in Europe are?? Like grey heads on young shoulders.

aurorie11 · 25/08/2018 14:46

About two years ago I was walking home from town with youngest DC who was 5. Walked past a van with a young girl about 3 in a car seat absolutely sobbing it was her crying I heard rather than seeing her first. I guessed her parent was in a nearby betting shop as it was the only shop around, I had to practically beg someone going into the betting shop to ask if her parent was in there as I couldn't take my DC in. Shortly after I saw a PSCO car and flagged it down. Left them to sort it. I felt i had to do somerhing as the girl was sobbing and obviously in distress

VelvetSpoon · 25/08/2018 15:01

Both my DS have always hated shops and shopping. Even when he was a baby, I could happily push DS1 round outside for hours...wheel him through the doors of a shop and he'd start crying. Obviously there wasn't much I could do when he was little but once he got older he would be left in the car, where he'd sit quite happily on his gameboy. As opposed to dragging him unwillingly round a shop where he would muck about, moan and complain. This was probably from about age 7, and we'd leave him and DS2 together in the car once they were about 9 and 6.

I also left them at home from ages 7/10 if I had to pop to the nearest shop 10 min round trip on foot) and they were getting the bus to school unaccompanied from that age too.

If I saw a baby or toddler alone in a car I'd do something but I wouldn't for older children. Some are happy to be left and can be safely.

notangelinajolie · 25/08/2018 15:13

I wouldn't leave mine alone in the car at that age. A little bit older maybe.

However, going back in time it would have been commonplace to see kids alone in cars. Especially pub car parks in the 1970's. Kids clutching packets of crisps and bottles of coke making rude gestures to all the other kids in their cars. We quite enjoyed it tbh. We lived to tell the tale but that doesn't make it right.

If the kids looked happy I wouldn't have dialled 101.

BewareOfDragons · 25/08/2018 16:20

I picked up what appeared to be a 2-3 year old once who I found crying and wandering around a huge supermarket car park. He was crying for mummy, who was inside shopping.

The mummy wasn't phased when I brought the child into the store and she was paged. She said he'd been sleeping when she left him there. HE could have been run over! I was astounded at her attitude (before I had children of my own, but just shocked!)

hungryhippo90 · 25/08/2018 16:32

Nah you were in the right.
Is it warm where you are? It’s quite warm here today, on top of all of the regular not leaving a 4&6 year old alone.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 25/08/2018 17:19

Apart from anything it’s just not very nice to abandon your young kids in the cos they’d be more hassle to take with you.

I have left mine for a few mins when younger when I’ve been parked outside the shop. And in other situations I’ve weighed up risks and acted accordingly. But it it’s acting in such a way that your child might feel scared or worried if an out of the ordinary, not necessarily unsafe thing happened, then you don’t do it! (Well, quite a lot would on here).

so for example, multi-storey car park. Car reversed into theirs. Gentle bump but the kids would be scared. One kid gets sick - not nice for both of them.

siren or alarm goes off somewhere. They wouldn’t know what the hell it meant or what to do.

Dad takes longer than he tells them to come back. Kids get worried.

Stranger approaches the car and starts knocking on the window. May be someone nice, maybe someone they think might do then harm.

Temperature in car goes up slightly. are they able to get out if they’re too hot? Are windows electric so won’t sork without key in ignition? Kids start to feel sick and overheated.

So none of them causing death. But all causing worry and discomfort with no-one around to ask for help like in a busier place like say, a shopping centre, where if something happened they could be taught to go and ask “a nice person in uniform working on the tills”.

I was shocked when my brother-In-law left their 3 year old in a hotel bedroom and then came down to finish his night with us unimpeded by babysitting. No baby listening or monitors. It was a hot night and he’d left the window open but calculated that the gap probably wasn’t wide enough for her to get through and window too heavy to push up. “Probably”, he joked. the next morning he said that she hadn’been to sleep till they came to bed later as she was frightened on her own in a strange place with no-one to call for help if she needed it. No shit, Sherlock!

Kids get scared on their own left for a while when it’s not in their own home. A kid in pyjamas arrived at the table next to us in a fancy hotel restaurant abroad once. He wasn’t that young, probably about 8-9 but had obviously been dumped in his room and left by his knob of a father so he could have dinner with his girlfriend inencumbered by his son. (he had treated all the staff appallingly before this and was just a loud, rich, entitled, self-absorbed bellend in everything he was saying or doing)

This kid had come in a long walk from the hotel next door in his PJs through a security compound with a security man with a gun. Was clearly upset. The parents berated him and then barely tolerated him. Ordered him chicken SAR-tayyy then when it came shouted at the chef that it wasn’t good enough “Daniel has had chicken SARtayy all over the world and this is not how it is supposed to be.” Daniel was perfectly happy with his food but his stupid dad wanted to kick up a fuss and have the staff ingratiating themselves licking his boots. Which they did.

What a massive knob. I was young and so was DH. We wish we’d said something st the time about his crappy parenting skills and lousy way of speaking to people.

Some people are just generally not that thoughtful towards others and won’t put themselves out. it’s not a question of asking yourself “is this car likely to spontaneously combust or not?” How silly t think just comes down to weighing up the risks.

DownAndUnder · 25/08/2018 23:06

BuggeringNora in the U.K. staff won’t let you wedge the pump in and check your car, you’re not even allowed to be on a phone at the pumps.

wishingtrees · 25/08/2018 23:25

Sister and I were left in a car on a market place when we were about 7 and 8 in the 89s. Man came and stood next to the car which was surrounded by other cars. Quick thinking sister leapt up and locked all the doors (push button thingys) just in time as he tried the handle of the front passenger seat. No idea what he was going to do if he’d opened it. We were trapped not daring to get out until our mother turned up. She told us not to be so stupid when we said what happened. She never left us again though.

wishingtrees · 25/08/2018 23:26

In the 70s that should read

Menolly · 26/08/2018 00:23

I remember waiting in the car with my brother when we were about 5 & 6 and he accidentally took the handbrake off climbing between the chairs to get the sherbet lemons Dad thought we didn't know he hid in the door and we rolled a little way down the hill and into the back of Dad's transit van which was parked down the road. Dad had only nipped back into the house to tell mum we were back (she'd been getting a picnic ready while Dad picked us up from somewhere then we were going out). We were generally very sensible well behaved kids, but well, sherbet lemons called and it hadn't occurred to either of us that climbing over the handbrake was a bad idea. We were fine but had the van not been there we might not have been and it was pretty scary. Point is, even sensible children can make pretty stupid decisions and alone in a car is not a safe place for a young child.

Port1ajazz · 26/08/2018 17:38

CocodeMol it is never acceptable to leave any children in a car by themselves ! It takes seconds for a car to burst into flames of a car thief to steal the car !

formerbabe · 26/08/2018 17:44

CocodeMol it is never acceptable to leave any children in a car by themselves ! It takes seconds for a car to burst into flames of a car thief to steal the car !

Don't be so hysterical and ridiculous. Do you literally mean never? What about a mum whose been food shopping with her kids...kids have come round shop with her. She puts kids in car with shopping bags, locks car and walks 20 yards to return the trolley? Is that OK with you?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 26/08/2018 17:50

Not at all. Dad is a fuckwit tbh

JamForBrains · 26/08/2018 18:16

I leave my DC in the car for a few minutes, take a trolley back, pay for petrol, pop into a shop quickly etc but to leave them in the car for 45 minutes+ is unreasonable. I would have done the same OP.

missuspritch · 26/08/2018 18:17

I would have done the same thibg! Good on you xx

Thing is when I was a kid (early 90s) me and my brother were always left in a (unlocked!!) car while my parents went into the shop. One time my brother climbed through the little door behind the arm rest into the boot and waited. My parents didn’t even realise he was missing till they walked past the windows with the shopping and opened the boot to him shouting boo!.. (they shit themselves Grin)quite funny at the time but slightly worrying thinking about it with an adult head :/ x

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 26/08/2018 18:18

I watched in horror as a boy of about 9 left in the family car managed to turn the ignition on before his parents sauntered over and took control. He had what looked like his younger sisters in the back.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 26/08/2018 18:30

I also know of someone who was left in a car that was hit by a lorry. They were left with life changing injuries.

OhFFSMum · 26/08/2018 18:32

I'd say in this instance 4 & 6 is way too young to be left for that length of time, and not in plain sight from the sounds of it. At that age they cannot be trusted to know the dangers of releasing the hand break or one of them deciding they want daddy and jumping out of the car (and then yes risking being run over by another vehicle in the car park). I do occasionally leave my kids in the car (Dd 11 and Ds 18 months) but only for a few minutes and usually only if I can see them. My daughter is very mature for her age and also has her mobile to call me if she needs me to come back urgently (which has never happened so far - she's usually making the LO laugh or got him off to sleep lol). 4 & 6 tho - no way

Helentad · 26/08/2018 18:38

My husband (boyfriend at the time) pulled up outside his mums turned off his car and nipped into the house to use the loo cane back out and his car had burst into flames. It wasn’t a hot day (it was not long before Christmas) so that wasn’t the cause. It happens

NameChangedNow · 26/08/2018 18:39

We infantilise children to a crazy degree in this country.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/08/2018 18:48

Yes it’s not so much that the car they’re IN could catch fire, but that another one close by could and in a multi-storey that is a disaster (Echo Arena fire blah blah)

frogsoup · 26/08/2018 18:50

Myimaginarycat and you've never heard of any child being hit while not in a car? Confused Crossing a car park, for instance?

If my 9yo tried to drive off in my car I'd think she'd taken entire leave of her senses. Everyone can think of individual 9yos who do exceptionally stupid things, but mostly they are really quite sane and responsible if given the chance. We infantilise to a quite crazy degree in this country. I do wonder how some of the kids of the hysterical parents on this thread will ever gain any independence whatsoever. Presumably they are the ones who get to university having never cooked so much a a plate of pasta, and don't have the first clue about the world or how to look after themselves.

frogsoup · 26/08/2018 18:51

Oops sorry NameChanged I took the words right out of your mouth, v sorry Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread