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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

kids left in car in car park/called Police

158 replies

Delilah21D00LoT · 24/08/2018 21:17

Just wondered if you would have called the police or 'turned a blind eye'.

Tuesday this took place:

12:55 DIY store car park two little boys (4 & 6 sitting in an unattended car when I came out of store.

So 15 mins later I went into store to ask for call out. Which they did to no result.

I Couldn't get through to Police on 101 but managed to get through on web chat.

13:25 blues and twos arrived.

13:40, Dad comes out of store and was very 'casual' tried to blame the kids by saying they didn't want to go into the shop 😡.

Police chaps also noticed that neither boys had car seats! To which the Dad went on about they usually use them, but due to his shift work he was too busy.

Police took my details and then I left them all to it and headed home.

Was I wrong to call the Police?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/08/2018 22:55

I think the risk from spontaneous fire is negligible.

TeaAddict235 · 24/08/2018 22:56

How did you know their ages on passing?

Just don't ring the police in Germany or France if you see the same thing happening. They call it time wasting. 6 year olds go to school by themselves.

RosiePosies · 24/08/2018 23:01

We leave our 6 year old in the car if we're going to pop into Tesco for 10 minutes and want to avoid a massive strop. We lock the doors and leave all the windows open a crack, and pop back after 5 mins to check on him. Is this bad?? It makes OH nervous but I'm quite blasé about it 😳

MellyPapa · 24/08/2018 23:06

Being locked in a car which starts to combust and walking through a car park when a car comes towards you are two totally different situations. At least in the latter there is a chance of some evasive action being taken!

MellyPapa · 24/08/2018 23:07

btw, I would leave kids in the car for varying lengths at various ages, not against that, just found the comparisons on this thread odd.

stillnotTheDoctor · 24/08/2018 23:10

Wouldn't have blued and twod if it wasn't.

safariboot · 24/08/2018 23:12

*I Couldn't get through to Police on 101 but managed to get through on web chat.

13:25 blues and twos arrived.*

There's all the evidence you needed that you did the right thing. If the police were coming with lights and sirens they obviously felt it was serious demanding an emergency response.

exWifebeginsat40 · 24/08/2018 23:13

has anyone offered an opinion on whether you should take your child in with you to pay for your petrol? that usually livens these threads up.

Melbrum · 24/08/2018 23:16

I'm pretty horrified that most people on this thread feel that calling the police was the right thing to do just because a parent decided to leave their child in the car whilst they went into a shop. Makes me genuinely worried about the way our society is going in terms of the inability to evaluate risk and the feeling of entitlement to force our own beliefs about the 'right' way to behave onto others. If parents want to be irrationally risk adverse when it comes to their own parenting decisions when it comes to their own children that's one thing, but to force that onto another parent is very different.

This article is pretty interesting for the research it quotes showing that our perceptions of risk increase when we think something is morally inappropriate:
www.nytimes.com/2018/07/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-in-the-age-of-fear.html

RedneckStumpy · 24/08/2018 23:18

Not the approach I would have taken but if you feel you did the right thing fair enough.

MissEliza · 24/08/2018 23:20

How did you know their ages? Hmm

StarUtopia · 24/08/2018 23:23

How do you know they were 4 and 6?

My 4 year old is bigger than some Year 2 kids...likewise, there is a boy in Year 6 who looks like he's 7.

Were they distressed?

Honestly..do people really think paedophiles are sitting in carparks waiting for their opportunity to steal children?

RedneckStumpy · 24/08/2018 23:27

Honestly..do people really think paedophiles are sitting in carparks waiting for their opportunity to steal children?

Right! Older kids not in distress, all the OP did was land the family with a fine. Who knows if they can afford it. Great way to spoil the weekend. “Sorry kids we can’t go to LEGO land like we said we were, some random woman complained about you sitting quietly in the car”

Original poster
Delilah21D00LoT · 24/08/2018 23:30

Two people have asked how I knew the kids ages as I was just passing. (I wasn't passing - the car was parked opposite mine and four along. Not relevant really, but I hung around to watch as they seemed so young).

I estimated them to be 4 & 6 - as a parent you can get a rough idea. When I got through to Police I said they looked approximately 4 & 6.

It turned out that they were actually 3 & 6 - Police got that out of them.

As someone else has pointed out if the Police came so quickly with the sirens and lights ask on the go then they must have felt it warranted it.

OP posts:
buttercup54321 · 24/08/2018 23:31

Busy body?

ShesABelter · 24/08/2018 23:33

A four year old should mot be left in the care of a six year old for forty five minutes in a car. Especially not strapped into a car seat which would at least stop them from deciding they'd had enough and just getting out the car and possibly getting knocked over or running off and getting lost or fannying about playing in the car and possibly putting the handbrake off.

Massively irresposble.

Rosie do you and your husband go in the supermarket together and leave your six year old in the car to avoid tantrums?

ShesABelter · 24/08/2018 23:33

Oops *irresponsible

Original poster
Delilah21D00LoT · 24/08/2018 23:43

*Two people have asked how I knew the kids ages as I was just passing. (I wasn't passing - the car was parked opposite mine and four along. Not relevant really, but I hung around to watch as they seemed so young).

I estimated them to be 4 & 6 - as a parent you can get a rough idea. When I got through to Police I said they looked approximately 4 & 6.

It turned out that they were actually 3 & 6 - Police got that out of them.

As someone else has pointed out if the Police came so quickly with the sirens and lights ask on the go then they must have felt it warranted it.*

OP posts:
Guienne · 24/08/2018 23:50

Melbrum, I'm normally pretty robust about being over-protective, but even I can see that there is a difference between leaving a 4 and 6 year old on their own in a car for 5 or 10 minutes, and leaving them for over 45 minutes as was the case here. I wouldn't be concerned about spontaneous combustion, but I would be worried about the possibility of their hurting themselves playing around in the car, or becoming unwell or upset, and being left in that state for so long.

It's also unclear whether they were locked in or not, but if they weren't there were very obvious dangers.

CheshireChat · 25/08/2018 00:04

TeaAddict235 My mum was actually asking today if I won't start leaving my 3yo for really short periods as it's not good for him to be constantly supervised. We're not English unsurprisingly.

Mind, I get twitchy if I can't see DS for any length of time as he's... Inventive shall I say.

I think the car seat thing is worse actually and that it's way too long, also why the heck didn't he react when he heard the announcement in the shop?! That IMO is the most concerning bit as what if one of the kids became unwell- doesn't need to be serious for them to worry at that age.

ChasedByBees · 25/08/2018 00:06

RosiePosies I find that quite shocking and there’s no way I would do it.

Saggital · 25/08/2018 00:07

A few months ago I left our kids in the car when I went to pay for some petrol, they were 4,7 and 9. I wouldn’t have done it normally but it was so hot I just felt it would be better for their skin to stay out of sunlight, especially as I keep forgetting to buy factor 50. Although I could see them from the kiosk window, I had this strange feeling of ‘ overcommance’ that the car was going to spontaneously burst into flames. And it didn’t. But it didn’t not before I managed to rush back outside, fling the doors open, and drag my kids away. Only a split second later a huge fire breathing dragon stomped on the roof and crushed the car into a metal version of shredded wheat as it then proceeded to flame throw the paint of a number of cars at the other end of the supermarket car park. One of those Audi’s too, I think it’s headlights on at noon on midsummers day must have attracted it. Like a moth to a flame. Livened up my weekend I can tell you. 😉
We had to get a cab home, the car was undriveable, and the taxi driver apologised that he had no car seats, which was a blessing really, because as we were being driven home he lost control and plunged the taxi down a ravine, but I was able to get us all out, just before the car hit a rock, turned over several times whilst continuously exploding. I’d just paid to have the frickin thing valeted!!?!!

RomanyRoots · 25/08/2018 00:30

Why had you just had a taxi valeted?
totally believable until then Grin

Lennie16 · 25/08/2018 00:34

This was a safeguarding issue, you definitely did the right thing, father was providing neglectful care and obviously didn't acknowledge the risk.

Saggital · 25/08/2018 00:38

I do it with all my cab drivers Romany, I find that if I tip them, they just waste it on cigarettes, cans of Stella or charitable donations. So instead I insist they always pull over at the nearest hand car wash while I pop into Starbucks for a cup of coffee and I pay to get the car valeted.