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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that’s if you are potty training then use a potty rather than the pavement

96 replies

Musicforthemasses18 · 24/08/2018 14:17

Saw a parent letting their little girl wee on the pavement of a Main Street in town today. Right in front of TK Maxx. What happened to taking a potty with you?
For both my kids I had one of those portable potty’s that you add a liner too- we took it everywhere when we were potty training.
If it was an adult weeing outside TK Maxx then there would be an outcry- why is it ok to let kids wee anywhere?
Aibu?

OP posts:

Nothisispatrick · 24/08/2018 15:08

How does a portable potty help potty training, out of interest?

Surely if you just whip it out anywhere and they can go there and then, they may as well be wearing a nappy... it doesn’t teach them how to use the toilet.

Kewqueue · 24/08/2018 15:09

Idon'teatfriedturtle - I live in a very hot country with lots of dogs - the smell is overpowering if everyone just leaves it there!

Original poster

Musicforthemasses18 · 24/08/2018 15:10

@windy yup, that’s what I had for emergencies. Folds up really small.

OP posts:

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 24/08/2018 15:11

People don't remind their children to go before they go out, and at regular intervals when it's convenient, they drink pop all day and then get caught short. Obviously everyone has the odd incident but it really feels like children's needs are not taken into account

Yeah, parents today... lazy and incompetent.

KisstheTeapot14 · 24/08/2018 15:12

For discretion purposes, I always try to get DS to go round a back alley, or at least somewhere secluded. Our town has public toilets but few and far between - There are 3 lots spread over long distances, 2 of them are revolting beyond measure.

DS has incontinence issues (he's 8) so we have spent a long time with this problem (its especially hard when in a shopping centre or similar).

I wouldn't choose right outside a shop but sometimes there isn't a choice to run somewhere else - maybe they'd already done a mad dash through shop so as to not pee on floor!

I get more frustrated with the continual dog poo hopscotch that we play when walking to school. Now that really makes me see red.

Original poster

Musicforthemasses18 · 24/08/2018 15:15

@nothisispatrick well, it might stop kids weeing outside TK Maxx which doesn’t help potty training either which is the point I am trying to make. It’s grim to wee in the street

OP posts:

ambereeree · 24/08/2018 15:16

I would rather my child wee on a side road rather than a public toilet which are generally filthy. YABU about about a portable potty but not about a wee in the middle of town. I'm sure the parent was embarrased and it must have been an emergency.

ToadOfSadness · 24/08/2018 15:17

I once saw a child being held over the grating outside a cafe in a shopping centre. It was more than a wee. To make it worse the public toilets were 2 doors along.

Having to step over a stream of wee in the street isn't great, some parents let their offspring wee by people's walls so that it all runs down the pavement, rather than by the road.

gnushoes · 24/08/2018 15:17

Can't get worked up about this. Tiny amount of toddler wee, probably adding to loads of dog wee. The potette liners may be biodegradable but the rest of it isn't. Sometimes small children get cut short. I might have tried to get my kid somewhere more discreet but presumably the parent didn't have time.

OutPinked · 24/08/2018 15:18

I also have memories of being held over a drain to pee. Likewise remember it at the side of a motorway once . The solution is to lumber a potty around wherever you go? As well as carrying your shopping and trying to keep a hold of your toddler? Sounds pretty impossible.

OutPinked · 24/08/2018 15:19

Oh and agreed that dogs piss all over.

Carrrotsandcauliflower · 24/08/2018 15:19

None of my children would use a potty- all tall and just basically even the larger versions didn’t cut it. We went right to toilet use. Lots of toddlers won’t admit or don’t recognise they need to go until it’s super urgent and we had many a slightly embarrassed public wee due to this when we first started training. I think I’d rather see a little kid wee in the street and stay happy and dry than wet themselves and be upset and embarrassed. Sometimes there just isn’t time to get to a loo or a more sheltered spot. It’s not what people are aiming for it’s just what happens to toddlers sometimes.

drspouse · 24/08/2018 15:22

People don't remind their children to go before they go out, and at regular intervals when it's convenient,
Oh yes they do - and their DCs STILL need a wee at the most inconvenient times.

drspouse · 24/08/2018 15:23

(And usually you are talking pants down and wee on the street OR do a wee through the pants, still in the street.)

anniehm · 24/08/2018 15:25

Tkmaxx are in shopping centres that have toilets, or at least near a marks and Spencer's or a costa coffee! Never carried a potty myself, we found a toilet

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 24/08/2018 15:30

Idon'teatfriedturtle - I live in a very hot country with lots of dogs - the smell is overpowering if everyone just leaves it there!

I live in the UK but I'm from a hot country, but I'm sure I've never seen it before! Your country is obviously more polite than mine

Rhiannon13 · 24/08/2018 15:33

Of course it's far from ideal, but maybe the child had started to wee and it was a damage limitation exercise! The transition from nappies to pants is fraught with dangers and the odd accident, surely? It's not exactly polite, but it's not the end of the world either.

Tonkerbea · 24/08/2018 15:38

I'd feel embarrassed if my child had to pee in the street, but potty training can be tricky for parents and kids.

I'd hope for some empathy from passers by - not judgement.

EB123 · 24/08/2018 15:39

I have never carried a potty around with me, usually we were able to get a toilet but ds2 has had a few wees down side streets or in a bush.

Maybe the family were in TK Maxx chikd announced they needed a wee, they rushed out of the shop and then the "its coming noowww!" started so they had no choice, i doubt they enjoyed it!

villainousbroodmare · 24/08/2018 15:45

I used to keep a few of those disposable plastic rectangular urine sample catchers in the car. DS thought it was fun to pee in them and would oblige with a quick pee before going into wherever we were going, when producing the potty would have yielded a "No."

EwItsAHooman · 24/08/2018 15:45

Do people honestly carry a potty about outside?

No one I know carries one around. I've potty trained three DC and have never carried one around either. Lots of people now don't bother with a potty at all and just train directly onto the toilet because it cuts out the whole transition from using a potty to using a toilet and saves any toilet refusing when you're out and about if they're accustomed to the loo from the get go.

I've had occasions when DC have been caught short desperate for a wee and can't wait until we get to a public toilet, or the toilet is closed or grim or far too busy, and I've had no option but to hustle them down the nearest alley, behind the nearest bush/tree/other item of cover, or dangle them over the nearest drain. These things happen with small children and I've usually got water with me so I give the area a little swill afterwards, it's no worse than dog wee. The rare time that it's been a suprise poo that they can't hold in until we get to a toilet we do the same thing of alley/tree/bush but they do it in their underpants/knickers so it's contained (poo being solid enough by that age) and then we either do clean up/fresh undies there and then if we're somewhere private enough or we head to the nearest baby change/toilet. Once wee finished or clean up completed then I give a reminder of well done for telling me you needed a wee/poo, remember to tell me as soon as you feel like you need to go.

Maybe the parent was taking the child to the toilet but he/she had already started weeing so grown up had no option but to let it happen.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 24/08/2018 15:46

What's the difference between "toddler wee" and human urine then? Are they two different things or something?

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/08/2018 15:47

Portable potties? What nonsense. Actually could we get drunk men to carry them everywhere? That I find repulsive. Not a toddler caught short.

herworldoutsideit · 24/08/2018 15:48

Maybe the family were in TK Maxx chikd announced they needed a wee, they rushed out of the shop and then the "its coming noowww!" started so they had no choice, i doubt they enjoyed it!

This is very likely. When we were toilet training DS the time between him telling us he needed a wee and him weeing was very short. Certainly no time to walk 100 yards to MacDs and find the loos (and possibly queue).

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 24/08/2018 15:49

I wouldn’t carry a potty but I also wouldn’t do it on the main thorough fair, I’d go to a far less populated area or at least I’d wash it away with water if we had no other choice.

I learnt the hard way how badly wee can smell when I didn’t notice DS had weed on the landing that time 🤢

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