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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send notes to the neighbours?

79 replies

GhostsInSnow · 24/08/2018 13:14

Can't decide if this would make me a twat or not....

Two weeks ago we bought our dream home in a small cup de sac. It hadn't been for sale on the open market so no for sale sign.

The house has spent much of the last 10 years let continuously to short term tenants who haven't really looked after the place. The gardens especially have been left to grow a bit wild which is a shame as it's a bit of a feature in the street.

I suspect when the neighbours saw us moving in they have assumed we are another in the long line of tenants who aren't going to be here long and have left us to our own devices.

So to my point, WIBU to pop a note through the two or so houses to say 'Hi! We're ghosts and DH and we have just bought x house, we look forward to meeting you in person'

Good idea? Or twatty?

OP posts:

birthdaygirls · 24/08/2018 13:52

They might not all be in, a note is a lovely idea. Or do both, knock and take notes to put through if they are out.

Witchofwisteria · 24/08/2018 13:54

I am in the exact same situation, although we have been living there for 2 months now, I would love to receive a note, others might find it twatty. We talk nicely with our neighbor on one side we have been in each others homes, exchanged garden tips but nothing from the lady next door she barely looks up at us. I find this is a real shame because my only son is 4 and she has 4 year old twin boys! Some people just are not into the whole friends with their neighbors thing so if they found it twatty they will probably be just that type and not bother with you anyway - so who really cares.

DiagramFan · 24/08/2018 13:54

Keys in a bowl party?

pacer142 · 24/08/2018 13:55

Would they not have noticed that the house was for sale?

Means nothing, a landlord could have bought it and put new tenants in straight away.

SoupDragon · 24/08/2018 13:56

Hi! We're ghosts

They’ll think you’re dead weird if you did that...

SoupDragon · 24/08/2018 13:57

They'll have twigged when they saw the "For Sale" sign instead of a "To Let" sign......

From the OP: It hadn't been for sale on the open market so no for sale sign.

HairyBaby · 24/08/2018 13:57

i don’t really understand why it matters if your neighbours think you’re going to be there short term or if you’re long term?

I would have felt like you until I moved out of London to a village in the Midlands where there were almost no rented houses, and where renting was seen as rather infra dig, a sign of lack of commitment, and probably poverty -- and generally a bit strange. People would say 'Oh, you're the people in the rented house on X Way!' and clearly want to ask us why we were renting. (And it wasn't to do with maintenance issues, as our rental contract committed us to gardeners and window cleaners etc, so the house was well-kept.)

We actually ended up buying the same house a couple of years later because the owners put it on the market and we didn't want to go through the faff of taking our son out of school, because there was nowhere else to rent in the village -- and for a significant minority of people, it was only then that we suddenly become socially OK.

I don't get it either, but that was how it was for us,

Original poster

GhostsInSnow · 24/08/2018 13:57

@SlartiAardvark

Once again. There was no sign, no estate agent. This was a private deal....

OP posts:

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 24/08/2018 13:58

Love the fact that two people haven’t even read the op or the second time she said there was no for sale sign
I think I’d just wait and see people in person. Tbh you need to work out who that one person is if you tell them the whole street and the next one over will know to save you the bother.

Original poster

GhostsInSnow · 24/08/2018 14:02

I think the distinction here between owning and renting is because the street has seen people come and go as often as 6 monthly for over ten years.
I guess when the turnover of neighbours is that great you don't really bother getting to know people as the next lot are around the corner.

It would be nice to integrate into the street a bit.Though I guess people will realise eventually that we're here for the long term.

We aren't really ghosts btw, though I do have the complexion of one 😂

OP posts:

implantsandaDyson · 24/08/2018 14:18

Honestly, I’d roll my eyes if I got a note like that, would definitely veer towards twatty. I know you’ve the best of intentions but it would occur to me that you were saying “we’re better than the previous tenants, we’re homeowners don’t ya know” which I’m sure would be the furthest thing from your mind.

You’ve only been there two weeks - relax, enjoy the house. I live in a big long street with a mixture of long term, short term renters and homeowners -how long they intend to stay makes absolutely no difference to how friendly I am to the people next door.

Brakebackcyclebot · 24/08/2018 14:26

I was about to say I don't understand why that could possibly make you twattish. Then I read implants' post. And I still don't understand why posting a note would make you twattish.

I would welcome a note from new neighbours in a house that had previously been used for short term lets. I live on a long road with very few short term renters. The house next door used to be let as a multiple tenancy house, and I was really pleased when the current owners bought it.

amusedbush · 24/08/2018 14:37

Would they not have noticed that the house was for sale?

Fucking hell, the second line of the OP explains this.

birthdaygirls · 24/08/2018 15:01

Lol! Such a perfect thread to prove that people don’t read in detail!

Hiphopopotamus · 24/08/2018 15:06

Surely they would have noticed the for sale sign OP? [Hmm]

ThriceThriceThice · 24/08/2018 15:08

Not ‘twatty’ at all. But agree knocking on door would be better (definitely with NDNs). As it’s a Cul-de-Sac, once NDNs know, you’ll find everyone else will know .

Perhaps invite people round for drinks or tea and cake on a Sunday (something short and sweet). But only if you can deal with the hassle along with moving / clearing garden etc.

WhatFreshHellisCis · 24/08/2018 15:13

Cancel the cheque OP

Kittykat93 · 24/08/2018 15:20

I think a note is a good idea! Knocking on the door is fine but some people (like me) get a bit flustered with people coming round unannounced and a note would be preferable to me answering the door in my dressing gown whilst clutching a grumpy baby and trying to keep the dog from escaping

birthdaygirls · 24/08/2018 15:23

WhatFreshHellisCis I think you are on the wrong thread lol! No cheque involved here.

Original poster

GhostsInSnow · 24/08/2018 15:28

Considered cancelling cheque, but home purchase means it would bounce anyway 😂

I shall do my best to speak to people over the weekend, will also use gardening time to work out the street and who's who.

OP posts:

keyboardkate · 24/08/2018 15:28

No notes for me. Just get out there and sort the garden out. That's what neighbours are interested in and will be delighted to see you looking after the place at last.

You will find that while you are out there you will more than likely meet the neighbours who may stop for a little chat and congratulate you on your work.

By their deeds shall you know them!

Hope you'll be very happy there.

Original poster

GhostsInSnow · 24/08/2018 15:40

Without giving anything away as it's outing, the garden has a feature thats very unique, its well known in the area and it's neglect has been a bit obvious. As all the neighbours presumably are fond of this feature hopefully it being properly cared for again will endear us a bit.

God that was cryptic haha!

OP posts:

Bowejangles · 24/08/2018 15:45

@trulybadlydeeply "a note telling me ghosts have moved in" that tickled me

MeyMary · 24/08/2018 15:52

Knock, introduce yourself and invite them to a small house warming party.

Alternatively (learned that when I still lived in the UK):

Wear nice but not particularly dressy clothes. Look approachable. Do some light gardening (not the strenuous digging kind that leaves you sweaty and muddy). And neighbours seem to just automatically come for a chat. Seriously, as if they had been waiting for it.

They were however considerate enough to stay away when we were doing really labour intensive stuff. Or time their approach/come over when we were taking a break ;)

WhatFreshHellisCis · 24/08/2018 16:13

@birthdaygirls ‘cancel the cheque’ references an old thread where people just weren’t reading updates/OP properly and kept trotting this line out

On this thread it’s ‘they’ll have seen the for sale sign’ when OP clearly states there wasn’t one...

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