To ask whether this would even occur to you?

[ACatsNoHelpWithThat]

We're moving house next week and the EA board outside our house now says Sold. Normally the space on the road outside ours is empty and there's plenty of parking around 30 metres further up. However there's been a car parked outside ours for the last three days (without moving) - it arrived during the daytime so they would have seen the Sold board. If I'd been them I'd have anticipated the house might need access for a removals lorry and would have parked further up. It's only because we have a 2 week exchange date that we're not moving today with nowhere close for the lorry to park!

Obviously anyone can park anywhere they like as long as it's legal but would you leave your car outside someone's house with a Sold board if you knew it was going to be a few days and there were plenty of spaces up the road? Or am I over considerate/overthinking? as usual

It wouldn't occur to me at all - around here Sold signs stay up for months. It's only when people put out bins to reserve space for moving lorries that everyone gets out of the way.

Wow that's bad luck SockQueen!

Could you pop a friendly note on their windscreen?

"We are moving from No. XX on [whatever day] and it would be a help if you could park elsewhere that day in order that the removals lorry can gain access and to avoid you being blocked in. Thanks."

[And then watch the next person pull up outside your house...]

I don't think I would even notice if a sold sign went up

I imagine they'll be gone by moving day but it just got me thinking, that's all. Will do that though if they're still there next week.

Overthinking. The sold sign on our new house has been up for a month, we’ve only just got the keys today.

I think you’re overthinking the reasoning behind your over thinking too. It’s unlikley to be your anxiety, your dad etc- you probbaly didn’t give much thought about sold signs until you had one outside your Josue either

House not jouse

We paid a fortune to have the bays suspended outside the house.

Oh and our sold sign was up for about 5 months in total.

A fortune? Really?!

glint actually it is the kind of thing I'd have considered previously - my DH often thinks I'm being over-considerate - I just thought he was underconsiderate but might revise my view now (things like he has a sound bar for the TV which he likes to have on during films - I feel uncomfortable using it because I know the neighbours will be able to hear it).

It felt like a fortune! Was the final bloody straw. We had to suspend 8 bays x 2 houses.

If I even noticed a sold sign, it wouldn’t even occur to me that it was an issue to park there tbh.

If I was you I’d also just assume that the removal company would be kind of used to it and just do what they needed to do... unless it was a neighbour’s car and so easy to get moved out of the way.

8 baud! Blimey

Years ago the sold sign outside my new property for 2 weeks. They refused to remove.it so I billed them £25 a day advertising fees: I made a professional invoice and gave them 28 days to pay or I'd take them to small claims court. I went to their office, handed it to the director and went home. The board was gone before I got home. They sent me a. £25 high street voucher too! Excellent result.

@iwantyourmumtoo I love you. What a result

We've had a Sold sign up outside our house since June, and I have no idea when our moving date will be!! They aren't a reliable indication that space will be needed soon, so even if people did notice I don't think they would necessarily think access was needed imminently.

I think a polite note on the windshield a couple of days before the move (and, frankly, wheelie bins, with same!) is perfectly in order.

I'm a bit of an overthinker too - I think not quite to the same degree as it sounds like you are, but it is a bit taxing!

Removal firms we have used in past often had clause in about charging more if they can't park easily but they will cope with the situation.

Never had it used even last house where I worried neigbours would be completely parked out front as they often were - even over our drive a sluck would have it time they pulled up no one was there.

They often suggest cones the night before - only people I know who have done so were older neigbours opposite who moved. A house with no drive bought by a family with four cars on estate with parking issues.

New ones used to moan when we past as we didn't use our drive - adding to their parking issue - reason we don't use it is we don't have a car . I think if people miss actual cars existing then sold signs won't be on their radar.

I’m sorry you suffer with anxiety, it must be dreadful. I guess growing up with an abusive Dad and walking on egg shells, it’s inevitable (for most people in that situation) I suppose 🌷

I do understand a bit, because my very close relative is a very anxious person, which leads to over thinking & her thinking she’s being ‘very considerate’ when actually she’s not. She’s over thinking, driving everyone nuts and doing unnecessary things which make her FEEL like she’s always the one ‘being considerate’ and putting others first, but in fact she’s not because that ‘thing’ was unnecessary.

In this situation you are doing the same thing. You are doing something YOU think is ‘considerate’ , when in actual fact, it’s ‘unnecessary’ then you are saying that you could stop being overly considerate of others, making it feel like other people are inconsiderate when they arent, they’re just not running around doing totally unnecessary things!

Your DH isn’t helping here though, because he’s referring to it as you being ‘overly considerate’ and you’re using that term too and it grates, because it makes it sound like you feel everyone else is inconsiderate, when actually they’re not. It’s not inconsiderate to park outside a house with a ‘SOLD’ sign, it’s ‘normal’, on moving day it would be inconsiderate to ignore a polite request to keep the space clear.

I don’t know what couselling or therapy you’ve had, but for YOUR sake primarily, but also your DH’s (and DC if you have any), try NOW to understand this and change it, because it usually gets worse as you get older, you’ll get more and more bitter and resentful of being ‘the considerate one’ and you’ll sound even more like a martyr.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, it’s TOTALLY not meant to, I just hope you can get help now so you can be more relaxed & less anxious 💐

Definitely put up polite notices on wheelie bins, it’s totally normal and fine

The council said you’d ‘get told off’ because they kind of have to say that, they can’t be seen to officially condone people doing stuff like that. But no one is going to care and it would take the council until you’re collecting your pension to actually DO anything about it 😂

I hope the move goes well and you love your new house.

@AnnieAnoniMoose thank you for your post, you don't sound harsh at all (overthinking it maybe? )

Just to clarify DH doesn't actually use the term over considerate, it's me using that phrasing and you're right, it's a poor choice of phrase in this instance. Your post is very helpful though because I have regular counselling to work through issues with my upbringing and subsequent abusive exH but I have never thought to bring up anxiety as a separate concern because I was too busy wanting to work through the other stuff first. But I see these things are interlinked. I do things like ask DH to drive a longer journey on A roads instead of the motorway in case there's a traffic jam even though I've never been stuck in a serious jam before. It's an eye opener that ironically I'm being totally inconsiderate in asking DH to bear the brunt of my anxieties just because of my own issues!

I'd agree I'm afraid, I'm not sure overly considerate is the right word, because factually for sale signs are up for many months often, and although you say you'd not have parked there, I assume like the rest of us you probably wouldn't even have noticed or considered it until it's impacted you.

The other thing is I find it a bit passive aggressive if I'm honest. The insinuation is the people who parked there are inconsiderate, that you are in some way more considerate than they are. That they have done something wrong, when they have not.

It's the same with your husbands driving, in essence it's deeply inconsiderate, you either put people out their way or subtly accuse people of being inconsiderate if they don't behave as you would like or in some way put you out.

I'm not being harsh, but it's a very self centred approach to life as opposed to an overly considerate one, becayse it's all about you and not the other person .

It's something to consider. That it's actually the total opposite of considerate.

Yes Bluntness I agree with you, I'd just never considered it that way before. I'm glad I posted this thread!

Possibly over thinking it 🤣 but anxiety is really awful and I’d hate to make anyone feel even worse 🌷

It’s OK to ask family & friends to do/not do things that make you anxious, IF you give them an ‘out’. Asking DH to drive on A roads is fine, IF he doesn’t mind. But (using this as an example only) you might choose to think...’Why am I asking this of him? What would be SO dreadful about being in a traffic jam?...and how likely is it at 11am on an unremarkable Tuesday morning?’ Just to help you put SOME things into perspective. Now, you’d be MAD to try this on a sunny bank holiday, on the motorway, down to the coast... there are times I prefer to take alternative routes because the likelihood of a long traffic jam is high and I’d rather take the less direct route with more alternatives and coffee shops! I’m not anxious, just sensible 🤣

I’m glad you’re having counselling. Have you told them about your anxiety? If you have, and they haven’t addressed it, that sounds a bit unhelpful. It’s hard to function well when you’re anxious, let alone work through issues.

I hope your (now) DH is a good man, a break away from the abusive mould. I know it’s not easy for people who have been abused not to subconsciously keep picking abusive men.