Puppy fat or more serious?

[Echobelly]

DH mentioned to me that he thought DD (10) was looking a bit pudgy round the middle, and I had noticed it too, but think it may just be a growing thing, as have discussed this with some friends and they were saying their kids at this age do seem to put on weight, but then have a growth spurt and the excess weight goes. I don't want to make a big thing of this, but nor do I want to be blasé. Basically her midsection is looking loose and flabby, not just normal sticky-out round child tummy. Her arms and legs seem slim. DH says he is concerned about her snacking, though I'm not sure it's excessive. She's not sedentary - moves around a lot and walks to and from school a mile each way during term time.

DH suggests he sets them a challenge together to snack less, and I've said ok, but don't mention fat/weight, as I think that can easily go the wrong way and set up negative attitudes to her body etc which I absolutely want to avoid.

Do people think this is a growth thing, or should we be (sensitively) managing habits?

I'd up the exercise as a family and just don't have unhealthy things in the house rather than make a point of it being a 'challenge' , that way if she wants a snack it's cucumber and humous for example rather than crisps or sweet things, does she have a bike can she and one or both of you out for a regular ride? Also make sure you don't reward with food, it's a bad habit I learned from my mum, bad day? Ooh have a biscuit, done well have some ice cream, it took me a while into adult hood to break it

Gosh it’s so hard to know but I’d expect a 10yr old to be extremly lean as they are so active and growing so fast. Puppy fat is a toddler thing. If your DH thinks she is overweight I’d take that very seriously. There really should be no need for any snacking with a 10yr old but I know that doesn’t reflect reality, kids love snacks and it’s hard to keep them under control. I’d be worried personally if my 10 yr old was anyway flabby as you say. Or had any ‘puppy fat’.

I wouldn't worry about it: mine always seem to gain a bit over the school holidays as they're more sedentary (bloody Xboxs). It drops off once they're back at school.
My DC are not snackers but I'm sure the same principle applies

Is she having any other signs of puberty or hormonal changes? It could be just a change of body shape happening, lots of women carry their body fat on the tummy and hips, doesn't mean they're necessarily overweight.

I also have a 10.5yo DD and she hasn’t had ‘puppy fat’ since she was a toddler (she was massive!).

She’s got an extremely lean physique, as do most of her pals so I wouldn’t say it’s the norm. The kids in her class that aren’t lean, and who have fat on their tummies etc. are generally the ones that eat too much.

My DD generally has mini weetabix for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch with endless cherry tomatoes (she’s addicted to them), she may have a bag of popcorn or some chocolate in the afternoon and then she eats a small dinner (she had 3 mini chicken fillets, 3 new potatoes and a couple of broccoli florets for dinner last night). She may gave some supper of either cereal or toasting waffles.

My ds always did this. Went very round, to the point t where I'd worry and then woosh, a massive growth spurt and back to normal. It was most noticeable in year 6.

Then as part of my job I was asked tonsil on a childhood obesity panel. The stats were phenomenal. All children are weighed in reception and again in year 6. So many went from a healthy weight in reception to obese in year 6. Which got me thinking about why. Looking around my sons secondary school, much fewer seem overweight than in that last year of primary school.

I think it's a mixture of things, but the biggest factor is growing. Since my son started secondary school 3 Years ago, he's grown 14 inches. And his feet, well, they've gone from a size 6 to a size 11.

So, I'd watch it very carefully but wait for the growth spurt and see if it sorts it out!

Could be early puberty thing. But I did notice this at the end of term, so not just a school holiday thing.

There's not lots of unhealthy stuff at home, no sugary drinks in the house, but I suppose we could cut what unhealthy stuff out completely.

My dd was like this at 10, it was the start of puberty. She's 11 now and has started her periods. Her tummy is rounder than her 9 year old sisters, but she looks a normal, just more grown up shape, and her bmi is fine

although you get both height and weight spurts in puberty, and they can get out of sync, it's not necessary to increase weight before shooting up.

Also, it's not normal for DC to have rounded tummies after the toddler years. So I am wondering if your DD has been to same extent overweight for a while, and it's crept upwards a bit further.

I think that gradually changing her diet (such as your snack challenge and by your checking (and gradually adjusting, if necessary) her portion sizes, will make a considerable difference.

Snacking is entirely unnecessary.
Walking a mile to school for a ten year old is insufficient exercise.
Puppy fat is a myth.

I think your family need to increase the amount of exercise you do together (Park run, cycling) and she needs some active, make you short of breath type club - hockey, dance, netball- something she can continue through her teens.

I wouldn’t say don’t keep an eye on it but I’d also say that it is quite common. DD and her friends were always very slim after the toddler pudge stage and around 10/11 all filled out a bit looked a bit rounder in the middle and cheeks filled out a bit. They all hit puberty shortly after and shot up and are all slim again dd is 5ft 9 and a size 8/10 with a flatter stomach than I have ever had she has a more womanly shape now as well. Even my friends dd went through it and she was a preemie who has been underweight since the day she was born.

I did worry when it happened to dd as she has a very healthy appetite always has but I did keep an eye on it made sure snacks and meals were healthy choices etc but didn’t draw attention to it to her and it all evened out in the end. I don’t necessarily think it should be ignored but I don’t think it’s necessarily a worry either.

Perhaps cut down ever so slightly on her portions ( so that it is hardly noticeable) If you don't already, sit at the dining table and have the tv off. Drink water with your meal or at least get her to drink a glassful just before a meal ( again you could say it's because you have been told you need to do it because of headaches and want her encouragement to help you ) Walk to your nearest park / outdoor area a few times a week. Things like that will help, she does probably not need to diet but a tiny drop in weight and her normal growth will stop it becoming a problem.

Could she join a sports club or something to get her into the habit of doing proper exercise while she's still fairly young?

Don’t make it “a challenge”

Just teach her everyday in a normal way about food and excersize from a point of view of health and looking after her health and happiness. For instance teach her about protein being a better snack for energy levels and blood sugar. Teach her about processed sugar and how it’s not actually nutrition, just entertainment and should only ever be eaten in small portions with/after meals in order that it doesn’t mess with blood sugar / hormones etc. Teach her about the link between good nutrition and health. Teach her about cooking and growing food. Teach her about consumer culture and the psychology of addiction that junk food manufacturers trade on. Teach her about the link between excersize and mental health. Teach her ways to release stress and keep her self esteem high .

Don’t EVER mention her body, her weight, her size or call her “flabby” “fat” “big” “big boned” “puppy fat” or link food or excersize to appearance or self esteem .

Speaking as a daughter of a mother with disordered eating who has struggled with a life time of eating disorders, please don’t.

Just teach her about health and well-being. And lead by example. Don’t Bring her body into it.

I think we'll work harder on prep for kids' triathlon this year- she did her first one in June this year and enjoyed it, but trying to improve her time could give her a reason to train harder this time.

I have a bad hip so can't do much by way of sports myself, though I go to the gym twice a week. For a bit of context I was always a bit underweight as a child as I ate very little at mealtimes, though I did snack as well. I'm basically slim, but post adolescence, fat always collects around my waist. I tend to need to eat little and often.

We don't have an au pair right now, but have a new one starting soon. Wondering if she could have been eating more than we thought after getting in from school, so maybe should lay down the law a bit more about snacks afterwards for the over starting next month.

Could she be getting snacks that you don’t know about, OP? I put on a lot of weight in that year, and my very healthy-eating DM was baffled. In fact, a friend and I were saving and scrounging our pennies and buying a lot of penny sweets and chocolate when we could. I would also raid the cupboards when she wasn’t aware. It did come off again, but it took a year or two.

Otherwise perhaps keep a food diary for the whole family for a few days (you could get her involved - make a project of it and choosing recipes/cooking together or something for the following few days, if she’d like that?), and then you can take a proper look?

Also agree with doing some family exercise for fun, maybe a group bike ride or something. My stepson is that age, and we drive up to places like the Peak District for family walks (pre-arranged ones that are easy to follow!).

Puppy fat around middle normal at this age mentioned by nurse to me yesterday with regard to my 10 yr old when we were having his annual asthma check

What is she actually eating? If your DH is worried about snacking

Please tell your husband NOT to tell her she’s looking “pudgy around the middle«

Under any circumstances

the one starting next month I mean!

I agree @hoochycoo about making it about health. My mum did a great job bring discreet about when she dieted, not criticising other women's bodies etc and I intend to carry that on. DD has never seen me diet, never heard me say 'I'm getting so fat' etc and never will. She is a sensitive and anxious soul and potentially just the type to develop an eating disorders if told the wrong thing and I just wouldn't know how to cope as I've never had a body image issues (though I know EDs are far more than a body image issue).

Also a sensitive issue as MIL, who DD is a total favourite of, is also a real body facist and I worry will say something harmful at some point.

Yes, I told DH not to mention fat or weight under any circumstances.

I have caught her foraging absentmindedly for snacks after a meal in the past and just told her not get into the habit of eating without thinking about it.

Are you sure it is actually fat? She'd be. Ery unlucky only to gain weight around her middle. You should consider the possibility of constipation or bloating. Do also keep in mind the quality of the food that she is eating. A lit of svjools feed children really rubbish food at lunch times. As people in general you really shouldn't be eating any refined carbs, cheap meat, fat reduced dairy, foods with added sugar etc. It may seem like you have a normal diet but the quality of your ingredients will make a difference. For example eating spaghetti bolognese made out of wholewheat spaghetti and says made trim scratch with added veg and good quality lean mince is very different to eating spaghetti bolognese made out of white pasta and sauce out of a tin.

If your DH grew up with a Mum who is «body fascist» then it explains why he thinks it’s appropriate to comment on a girl’s body and set her a «challenge» .

That’s teaching her to notice and worry about the shape of her body. And teaching her to see healthy eating as a «challenge» and teaching her how to diet.

Rather than teaching her about health and well-being, self esteem and lifetime long positive behaviours to regulate emotions and improve mental health. Lessons that will protect her health and wellbeing without linking it to her appearance.

Get him to read about the psychology of eating disorders.

Would you even have given it more than an initial moment of concern/indecision if it wasn't for DH? I agree with others that it doesn't sound like he's got a healthy attitude towards bodies and especially women's bodies.

DD has never seen me diet, never heard me say 'I'm getting so fat' etc and never will.

Actually I think it is quite healthy to see that if you start gaining you need to do something about it.

I remember after one big holiday when I was about 16 where we had done an awful lot of eating - my mum said "we've been eating a lot more than usual over the holiday, and I've put on a few pounds. Now we are back at home we could do with eating some plainer food and i'll make lots of lovely salads for lunches." It was a bit of a wake up call that if you over eat you put on weight, but you can pull it back if you ea less for a bit as well!