To hate birthdays

[LEMtheoriginal]

Its my birthday. I want it to be tomorrow.

I have to pretend to be happy - not that im not happy but you know what i mean.

Im torn between hoping dp didnt spend too much or spent nothing. Some years i get spoilt others not even a card. I think this might be an inbetween year. Inbetween is better.

I have the day off work but cant decide what to do with it. Will need to spend it with dp and dd2. I dont get paid til next week so loathe to spend out.

Cant i just stay in bed with my dogs?

Im the birthday grinch

I’m the same with my birthday.

I don’t mind making a bit of fuss for children’s birthdays, and can just about do it for “big” adult birthdays but otherwise I tend to just treat it as another day

Im another year older. Its gone from yayyy to meh to God help me!

I don’t like doing anything for my birthday other than a meal with DP it a family activity like going to the cinema or somewhere with DC.

Can’t stand big parties.

Hate my birthday.
Just don't want to bother with it at all anymore. It's a big one this year and that makes it even more depressing.

I hate my birthday too and DP hates his birthday. Pretend to put on a front when in the company of work colleagues etc but really just want to get them over and done with. It's a good excuse for a takeaway though

Happy Birthday LEM!

Happy birthday

Was mine very recently, feel your pain

Yup,that’s me.I find it hard to dredge up any enthusiasm for birthdays,Christmas,Easter.........any sort of ‘celebration’ where I feel under pressure and expectation to show ‘happy’ and I am uncomfortable with gifts but like you,OP, sometimes I get presents and sometimes not.I don’t really care.
I am not unhappy......it’s just hard to do ‘thrilled’

I love the ‘ yayyy to meh ‘

Ps happy birthday LEM

Dont even get me started on Christmas that can fuck right off

Oooh no, I love Christmas. It’s juat birthdays that are a bit lame!

Happy Birthday. I feel your pain - it’s mine tomorrow

I hate birthdays too. Birthdays are for kids imo. I try and sidestep my birthday with minimal fuss as possible.

I’m interested in the psychology of all this. Why do you feel “pressured to be happy”? Is it that you’re actually sad or depressed, and it’s an effort to fake it?
Or do you feel that, in some way, you don’t deserve a celebration and a nice fuss being made of you - that you have low self esteem and are conflicted by the disconnect between your self image of worthlessness and the love and attention you are receiving?
Birthdays are a two way thing.
Yes, they’re meant to be a celebration for you, but they’re also the chance for your family and friends to show you they love you. They may have put time, effort and money into trying to make it a special occasion for you. Surely it would be gracious for you to show your appreciation of that, however you feel inside?

Perhaps I should add that my own birthday is the day after my DH died, and it’s a monumental effort to overcome my grief and keep smiling for my DDs’ sake, but I’ve been very touched by their efforts to give me a lovely day each time.

Babdoc For me, I’m fine when it’s a small thing, like a meal with DP or something.

But if people do something as a group, such as make a fuss or throw a party, I feel I’m obligated to act in a certain way. Now, I know I am socially awkward. So I then start overthinking how to not appear awkward and rude. And the more I overthink, the more I think I’m messing it up and on and on it goes!

I’m an introvert and would rather people just quietly slipped me a book token if anything!

Babdoc i do have a mental health issue but i dont think its that i have never reslly enjoyed it.

Of course i will be gracious and when i haul my backside out of bed ill think about what to do. Just asked dp if we can go to london but he said wed have to go by train. Meh might go on sunday and just do a dog walk today

Why do you feel “pressured to be happy”?

Surely it would be gracious for you to show your appreciation of that, however you feel inside?

I think you've just answered your own question.

I have never been a big one for birthdays (don’t like attention on me I guess) but then my first birthday after ds was born he was critically ill so now birthdays are marred with memories of that day.

I don't mind other people's birthdays but can't stand mine. It's a crap time of year when no one can be bothered to do anything and ever since I outgrew the party bag age i have just found them a real drag.

I love birthdays, mine was 3 days ago.

Christmas, at this time of year! ( it's still summer!) and there's Christmas cards and stuff in the shops already, that makes me a bit meh..

Happy birthday LEM.

Yes you can stay in bed with the dogs, it's your birthday!!! I do nothing I don't want to on my birthday, this may include not getting dressed, having a 2 hour bath in the afternoon, lying on the sofa with the dogs. I do sweet FA all day, basically go on strike.

I take it all back - i got a happiness mug

Glad to hear it