To think i should call SS?

[coltitude]

DD's really sweet friend (14) is over for a sleepover. She told DD infront of me (quietly) about her parents and how they make her feel worthless. She said they don't hurt her physically but tell her she's a burden, that she's the sole reason of everyone in the family's problems, that she deserves all the bad things that happen to her and loads of other horrible things. She said they're nice to her siblings (2 boys one older one younger) she said she told a dr once and her parents found out and said that if she ever tells anyone, she'll go to hell and all her siblings will be moved to different homes. This girl is so sweet! I feel so bad for her I'm honestly about to pick up the phone to call NSPCC for emotional abuse but MIL (whos currently staying with us and overheard) says im overreacting completely. am i?

No you aren't. Poor kid.

No your not overreacting this is definitely EA. Please call nspcc. Poor girl I don't think I'd be able to let her go home if I was you. Please do what you need to do to help her.

I dont think you are overreacting but id ring NSPCC for advice id not call SS. You dont want to make things worse for her and im not sure how SS phoning her parents or visiting would actually improve things.
NSPCC could give you advice about what to do and who to contact for the best... maybe her school?

I’d also call her school once tent starts; if social services don’t do much then at least school can provide a bit of extra support

thanks everyone! honestly if worst comes to worst i'll be open to adopting her she's just so lovely, i'm going to call NSPCC and tell school in september :)

Oh the poor love . I assume she's at school with your DD? I'd let them know. TBH I doubt SS would do much, their thresholds for intervention are shocking. If you let the school know though it will be on record should anything else come up (in fact there probably already is stuff on her record) and build a bigger picture. I'd be tempted to invite her over a lot though, and treat her well, and show her she's worth caring for.

Nspcc will just pass it on to social services, they do very little themselves.

Is it possible the girl is not telling the truth? Maybe just wishful thinking. It sounds awful. SS may not intervene however they might do an assessment and if there are other concerns about the girl, e.g. at school, then they will be able to build a full picture.

You need to report it to social care really, NSPCC will probably advise you to do that although no harm asking them for their advice.
Not sure what area you are in but there will be a "front door" or a main number to ring to report any concerns about a child. They can then consult with the social worker on duty and make a decision of what to do. It's always helpful if you know her date of birth and address.
I hope she is ok, poor kid

NSPCC will pass the referral straight to children's social care. CSC will have to, as a minimum, do a section 17 assessment. However, if you want to remain anonymous NSPCC will ensure that happens. Contacting the school will also result in a referral to CSC

Call the school. There will be someone there who can pass on the information to the safeguarding lead. They will probably do a referral to social care but they are so understaffed they will likely refer it back to school. At least that way it is on record with the people who see the kids most often. CSC often only deal with really urgent cases these days.

You are absolutely doing the right thing - ignore mil.

Professionals will be able to talk to everyone and assess the situation. The child may be exaggerating, but she may also be downplaying how bad things are. As described it is emotional abuse, no child should go through that.

Poor little girl - either way she needs help.

Absolutely call the NSPCC for advice and let them take it from there.

It might been a child exaggerating and complaining like kids do or it might be a glimpse into what's going on. I'd be inclined to say the latter as often vulnerable children test the waters with adults they trust before disclosing more or sharing more.
Pass on anything of concern objectively and factually and avoid placing your own interpretation or explanation into your recount. In future you may find it useful to note key pointers down after the conversation to refer to later if you need to flag anything up.

I have a dd the same age and I would ring the school. The school is well placed to contact the appropriate people and can also help to build a proper case if they also have concerns, which they may do. They can also put support in place there and it’s good for them to be aware of how the parents are. Poor girl. So sad.

Is child line still operating? Could you encourage her to call them from your house?

I'm going to go against the trend here and say don't call anyone. Yes its heartbreaking but realistically what can any of those organisations do? Any interference will only make it worse for the poor girl, and if her parents suspect it's you who called she'll be banned from your house.

Instead I'd show as much love as I can, welcome her into my home, and let her know she's safe there.

If you tell SS she may have another story for them. Be cautious.

I would definitely speak to school and let them take the lead about further involvement.

I would also make it clear that she is welcome to spend as much time as she likes at your house (assuming that's okay with you).

realistically what can any of those organisations do?

• they can speak to the child alone and find out what's going on.
• they can make a plan for the parents to moderate their behaviour.
• if the child is fabricating exaggerating, they can find out why, and if necessary suggest a referral to school counsellor or CAMHS

hello! I'm talking to NSPCC, I asked DD's friend if she wants to stay another night and her mother said she could so she's safe for the time being. I told her to call childline (or me) any time she feels unsafe at home. NSPCC is telling me to hold for the moment so the woman can go get a superviser, hopefully they'll be a section 17 - thanks everybody!

Thank goodness she opened up yo you OP, you sound really caring.

NSPCC is a good start for some professional advice, they should signpost you.

Is there a children's and young people's hub in your county for 121 confidential support to children of this age? Please do have a look. It's usually run in conjunction with the LA, public health and the NHS. She can have access to that resource directly, without her parent's knowledge.

I hope it works out for her, poor thing.

That's good op, poor girl😪😪😪

Poor girl. It sounds like she’s lucky to have you. I still remember the mum of a friend who was kind to me when I was a teenager. I know new laws have recently come in about emotional abuse in relationships, so hopefully their will be more awareness of it in regards to children as well.

Please ignore Beupstanding's advice. All organisations start their investigations solely with the child.
Call NSPCC, they will advise on best course of action.
Also contact school and make appointment with head of year or student support or have phone conversations.
The majority of secondary schools have a number of things in place; counsellors, support groups for students with difficult home circumstances, buddy systems/mentors etc.
School will WANT to help because it will impact on things like Ofstead.

Poor girl. Just to play devils advocate - is it possible she's just trying to get attention? 14 is a funny age. But still. I'd contact someone.