Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me please handle this *possible cheeky fucker*

67 replies

Itsmemotherfuckers · 23/08/2018 11:45

I’ve name changed because I know my friend is on mumsnet

A friend has recently had a big op (bowel related) and has 2 ds one is in my dd class.

They get a lot great and are best friends they are 8. Friend also has a 4 yr old ds who gets a long with my youngest ds.

We do a lot together, days out, holidays etc and friend has not done anything remotely cheeky fuckerish before but I agreed to look after her dc while she went into work for a day as she had no other option. Everyone knows I don’t like looking after other people’s kids, it’s a running joke but I always do whatever I can for my friends.

While the whole op process was going on I did childcare, cooked meals, brought presents and have been there for support.

But today said friend turned up with her ds early morning which was agreed and said her dh is at home today so if I have any problems just let her know and her dh would have them. I was very confused and asked if he was ok, she said he was but had some abdominal pain and was going to rest.

She had to rush off and looked very weird, probably because she knows it’s a bit cheeky.

Am I right in thinking actually if her dh is home then he should be doing childcare? I was asked because she had no other option and was stressing and I gladly agreed.

I’m tired too, my dc were up all night and I work too.

I need to tell her I’m not happy but I don’t know how, please help me.

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 23/08/2018 12:19

Let it slide. It's not worth losing a friendship over and maybe her DP is genuinely unwell.

daffodillament · 23/08/2018 12:20

I don't know. If he's home unwell I'm sure your support is appreciated more than ever. I wouldn't say owt. Also, why name change ? If she's an avid MNer she'll have spotted this ! Grin

Original poster
Itsmemotherfuckers · 23/08/2018 12:20

I’m going to leave it but it’s hurt me, just the being inconsiderate and I feel a bit shady :(

OP posts:
Cupoteap · 23/08/2018 12:21

You feel tricked into it and I would too

neveradullmoment99 · 23/08/2018 12:22

Yes, she should have said but maybe it all happened quickly. Her dh was going to come with her then changed his mind as he didn't feel well. Could have happened as they were all going out the door.

Dermymc · 23/08/2018 12:23

So they are both at home? That's a bit off.

neveradullmoment99 · 23/08/2018 12:23

I would feel tricked too. I think you will need to say something if it happens again. I would let this one go for now.

Dermymc · 23/08/2018 12:23

Oops just saw she's gone to work but alone. Hmm maybe he is ill.

DadDadDad · 23/08/2018 12:25

The point of a name-change is not to disguise this thread, but if recognised, it means the friend can't search for other threads by this poster that might reveal personal information.

Of course, if friend does see this thread, they're either going to be a bit embarrassed or a bit cross (depending on how much self-awareness they have!), so it will probably cool the friendship...

Original poster
Itsmemotherfuckers · 23/08/2018 12:26

Daddaddad precisely.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 23/08/2018 12:26

How many hours are you supposed to be having them for?

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 23/08/2018 12:27

Don’t take them back, it’s not the kids fault, just have a conversation with her a little later about not understanding why her DH could have them.

delphguelph · 23/08/2018 12:28

I think she should of at least offered to have her dh have them

^^

But he's not a baby-sitter is she? He is their father. Cheeky fuckery indeedy.

I can't understand these people at all.

Original poster
Itsmemotherfuckers · 23/08/2018 12:28

From 7am till 4pm

OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 23/08/2018 12:39

When your friend next asks you to look after her child it wouldn't be a bad idea to say you're tied up (not literally). I don't understand why husband couldn't look after the child unless he is working from home or was going somewhere later.

It's lovely and kind that you have given so much help but being taken for granted is not a happy situation.

mydogishot · 23/08/2018 12:40

9 hours?
Bloody hell.
She has, of course, supplied you with food, drinks and/or money for any activities?

ohtheholidays · 23/08/2018 12:40

Can you take them home and say something has come up?

You've already had them for over 5 hours so you've already done them a big favour OP.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 23/08/2018 12:40

9 hours?! you have them for a whole day? Bloody hell. I think if as you say she was sheepish she knows she’s being cheeky.

You’re a good friend to help out throughout her op. Why were you looking after them today? Was it op related?

But I’d feel duped. If circumstances changed and her dp was at home I wouldn’t expect her to still use you for 9 hours childcare.

Paddley · 23/08/2018 12:42

I wouldn't lose a good friend over this, but it would be a one off.

Has she ever helped you out, or would she be there for you if needed?

Original poster
Itsmemotherfuckers · 23/08/2018 12:42

Yeah a packed lunch. Was going to go out with them but I ironically have bad period cramps and a headache so we’re staying at home.

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 23/08/2018 12:43

He might well be properly ill.

But I’d be unfortunately unavailable next time she asked.

diddl · 23/08/2018 12:43

You did it to help her recover from surgery & so that her husband didn't have to take time off/them pay for childcare.

Not for him when he's got a "tummyache"Hmm

I'd say you've done enough & they are both taking the piss.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 23/08/2018 12:45

her dh had taken a day off work to go into work with her to support her

What do you mean by this?

And yes, it is cheeky fucker behaviour.

Jeezoh · 23/08/2018 12:46

I’d text your friend and say you’re not feeling well so as her H is at home, you’ll drop them back shortly. Why should you look after his kids so he can be alone when you don’t feel well either?

diddl · 23/08/2018 12:46

"if I have any problems just let her know and her dh would have them. "

So then take her at her word!

You've done almost two thirds!