to ask if it is normal to have intense nostalgia, yearning for youth once you hit 40ish?

[lemon8de]

This is going to sound really sad but over the last few years I have suddenly started thinking a lot more about the past, about people I have not seen in 20+ years and having this intense sort of nostalgia. I am over 40. I thought it was just me but several of my friends have also said that they have this too and that they have suddenly had the urge to contact people they haven't seen in years or start listening to music they haven't played in years. Is this common?

I do find it hugely comforting that other people feel this way. Thought it was just me and I was going a bit loopy.

I feel a bit stuck at the moment, trying to have a second baby but nothings happening, I’ve got myself into a secure but flexible job perfect for having young children, it’s a bit boring and I can see peers getting on but don’t want to apply for anything else in case I do get pregnant.

Gah! Just need to try and enjoy the here and now - I wonder if one day I’ll feel nostalgic for now?

omg im 17 and i yearn for my youth i feel this

I find myself looking at my parents and feeling that we (dsis, dc, dn and I) should be making the most of our time with them.

The thought of and witnessing my parents getting old is deeply saddening.

Yes I feel like this a lot. Ive just had my 50th birthday, that’s a big milestone! I miss my kids being little, I miss feeling invincible, I miss feeling physically stronger and more energetic. It’s scary getting older and facing up to the physical effects of that, I had breast cancer 3 years ago and dh has also been diagnosed with a cancer.

I am starting a new career and studying so that helps distract me, and gives me something to aim for.

Strangely comforting to know I am not alone and that other people feel like this too.

I'm nearly 43 and definitely get the nostalgia (and enjoy a wallow now and again) but I absolutely don't feel that I don't have big events left to enjoy. My life is as full of possibilities as ever and I'm really excited to live it. And I say that as someone who is skint and has quite difficult caring responsibilities. I can't wait to see my children and my friends' children grow up, read all the wonderful books that will come out in the future, watch the Buffy reboot, finally have time to get to grips with gardening etc. This thread has made me feel very lucky!

Bad poet you are a great example to follow

Yes. To be honest, I've always had it but it got more intense when I hit 50.My dad died at the same time so maybe that had something to do with it.

But around then I started to revisit childhood holidays, favourite childhood books, Christmas traditions etc. I still do it and I find it very comforting.

I have also taken comfort from this thread knowing I am not alone. Here is an interesting article about nostalgia.

www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/ulterior-motives/201311/what-does-nostalgia-do

I had a huge wave of this feeling after I saw the second Trainspotting film (not that I was reminiscing over a youth quite as misspent as the film characters!). It captured the feeling perfectly - enjoying looking back at what was fun back then, but also this underlying mourning of all those hopes and dreams that failed to materialise.

Yes, definitely. I am 43 and often feel the way you describe. Often reflect on the past and regrets, but also what fun my late 20s and most of my 30s were. Not so much my teens or early 20s.
And the music back then was so much better than now.

Yes roomba the second trainspotting brought that feeling for me too.

I look at younger people and I feel such a sharp stab of sadness for myself. I see their possibilities, energy, youth and beauty and I see how shit I felt I was and how low my self esteem was when I was young. I want to go back in time and help myself achieve my potential and see my worth. Hopefully my dc will know how wonderful they are and have my support so they can take opportunities offered to them instead of giving them up in case they inconvenience someone. Hopefully I can do that for myself too

Really reassuring! I stared feeling this about a year ago. Was really freaked out! Glad to know I'm not alone

Yep. Me too..I am constantly dreaming about people from way back too.

I never really understood when people used to say they felt invisible. I'm almost 42.

I understand it now.

I get all nostalgic over my school, that I left 30 years ago.

Have had it all my life. When I was at school I became nostalgic for nursery days. It's nice to look back, but mostly I prefer to be in the present moment.

I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this! I’m almost 40 and have had intense bursts of nostalgia over the past couple of years. It’s almost unpleasant how sad it makes me. I had thought perhaps it was because I lost my mother when I was 20, so often feel there was a really brutal cut-off between my childhood and my adult years. But more recently I’ve even felt nostalgic for my early 20s, when I was actually having a pretty shit time! I think it’s just an awareness of the passing years, and knowing there are fewer possibilities now, and your life is more fixed (not immutably so, I know! But definitely more restricted). I often have the Pink Floyd song ‘High Hopes’ (about just this feeling) in my head - ‘the grass was greener, the light was brighter / when friends surrounded the nights of wonder’ … ah, yes!

My DC mourns for her early teens and she is only 26.

I am in my 50s and look back with sepia tinted nostalgia at my 30s. I was so slim and the kids were so lovable - even being skint looks better with hindsight. I am sure if I reach my 80s I’ll look back on my 50s with rose tinted affection.

@ACatsNoHelpWithThat
I know exactly what you mean.
Coming up for 50, I yearn for the time where so much was possible

I'm 39 and have been having this loads recently. It's mainly around my girls growing up (dd2 starts secondary school in a few weeks-and I've recently been a bit tearful about them not being little anymore), but also a bit about how my life doesn't look as I thought it would when I was this age maybe.

It's actually really weighing me down a bit at the minute. I'm hoping once School starts and we are all back in a routine I'll feel a bit better.
I'm starting a new job in September which will hopefully also help.

I'm 43 and have moments with this same feeling. Married nearly 20 years and feeling a little weird about how the time has gone and won't be coming back - my DCs are teenagers and I think it's connected to that. I can recall so clearly how I felt and what I wad doing at their ages and yet it all happened last century.... so when I talk about it with them, it's so far removed from their reality that it's like my parents talking about their youth.

I've achieved all I set out to achieve really so why do I feel sad nostalgia?

I’m almost 40 - I don’t feel this yet - too much going on and I feel like everything as come together now with young children, friends, career etc. I lived being young but I’m more content than I have ever been before.

But I can totally imagine how it would feel and I’m so conscious of passing time that I know I’ll feel this when I’m older. I’m sure I’ll feel nostalgic about my children being young - and I dread having to watch my parents getting old. Basically I’m nostalgic for the present!

You are only as old as the man you feel! I happen to be in my 20s, wanna feel like a 20-something again?

Well I hit the big Five O next year and whilst a lot of my child hood friends are desperately trying to regress back to their youth - tragic to see, I'm content with my lot.
I've never drunk, smoked, taken drugs etc etc as a result I feel bloody marvellous. Occasionally I'll hear a song and it whizzes me back in time to my youth - Madonna Crazy for you, does it everytime.
However, I wouldn't wish to the starting out today. The world seems to have hrunk, housing prices are ridiculous, cost of living sky high etc etc. But my youth was a totally different era, it's the era I miss more than my youth.