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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Has anyone ever successfully got over their spider phobia?

40 replies

Pickleypickles · 22/08/2018 18:06

I'm so scared of them it's pathetic, it's an hour long teary event trying to get rid of them! Last night one escaped while I was trying to compose myself enough to get the Hoover and now I just can't relax at all I was up till 3am nearly worrying about what I'd do if it got on my baby and not being able to wee as the last place I saw it was in the bathroom.

Has any successfully overcome an extreme spider phobia? If you have how did you do it?

OP posts:

AnnieOH1 · 22/08/2018 18:13

Kind of. I used to suffer really badly, blood running cold, sweating etc. A proper fight/flight response. I'll never forget waking up as a young kid (probably just around time I had gone into a proper bed) and had this huge motherf*er dangling above me on it's thread.

I didn't bother with any self-help or one of the spider courses. I literally went to a reptile house thing where they offered handling experiences and held a Chilean Rose Tarantula. It really surprised me how much it was like holding a hamster or other small warm furry creature.

Now don't get me wrong, I still don't care for them although I can appreciate them a bit more than before. I don't kill them anymore that's the big thing. Holding that stupid spider 15 or so years ago really helped me connect that it was an animal. I have no problem killing rabbit hutch (false widow) spiders though. They're just horrible things. (Raid in an red can!) Most spiders either get a glass over them and are taken out, or we've recently purchased a spider grabber thing. Saying that not used it yet, not seen one yet this year but that might be from using Raid on the doorways etc.

SwearingMakesEverythingBetter · 22/08/2018 19:16

Yes, do the Friendly Spider programme at London Zoo. I used to be terrified. I still don't really care for them but I move them quite calmly with a spider grabber.

Fightthebear · 22/08/2018 19:18

Yes - like Swearing, the Friendly Spider programme st London Zoo.

My heart still jumps when I first see one then my rational side kicks in and I calm down. I can remove them from the house on my own now.

HouseOfSix · 22/08/2018 19:22

I see you have a baby so my advice is not going to work, but basically when I am pregnant or have a newborn I am apparently afraid of nothing, including spiders. The stomach tightening heart racing pure fear doesn't kick in for some reason the whole time I'm expecting or have a tiny baby. Same for heights, flights and darkness. It wears off about a year after birth!

LEMtheoriginal · 22/08/2018 19:26

I used to be PETRIFIED of spiders. Tears, shaking petrified.

Then i did some work for a friend who works with spiders and snakes in a kind of related field. There is nothing like working in a room with over a hundred tarantulas in (obviously safely contained) to cure one's phobia! I became fascinated by them and they really are amazing creatures. I am quite comfortable with them now and wont evict them anymore.

The most effective thing i did to overcome my fear of house spiders was to give them names. So now if there's a spider its like -oh hi Malcolm not seen you for a while...."

They keep wasps out! Spiders are our friends

Anquin · 22/08/2018 19:28

I name them. Sounds crazy but works for me! Reginald’s are the big ones, and Clements are the tiny ones with long legs. I encourage them into plasric cups with postcards to trap them the take them outside and release them. Works with DC too!

Anquin · 22/08/2018 19:30

Haha - I mean in terms of taking the fear away - I don’t trap DC’s using this method!

FlipnTwist · 22/08/2018 19:31

YES!
DS1 started keeping tarantulas and although I cannot say I completely loved them, it certainly made me think nothing of big house spiders . I know regard them as beautiful fragile talented creatures. I find it a bit upsetting when people want to kill them

Nothisispatrick · 22/08/2018 19:31

Following with interest. I get proper cold sweats, heart racing and panic. I don’t think the tarantula thing would work as it’s the brown house spiders that run really fast that are my worst.

Nothisispatrick · 22/08/2018 19:32

I also hate to kill them, so when there’s one in the house and DP isn’t here I can end up trapped in one area of the house all day!

dailyshite · 22/08/2018 19:35

Yes, sounds daft but I realised that I didn't want my kids to pick up on my fear so acted a role.

Tiny ones to start with and made up all this shit about how cute it was and a little story about what it was doing.

Then started putting glasses over them and leaving them in the room so I knew they were there and looking at them occasionally.

Have built up to holding a tarantula (which was actually lovely) and genuinely quite like them now.

My anxiety started when I woke up with a big one on my face as a kid and was absolutely paralysed with fear. Full on sweats, panic, heart racing etc every time I saw one then until I decided it didn't work for me.

SureIusedtobetaller · 22/08/2018 19:36

London Zoo Friendly spider course here too. I was petrified, utterly terrified. Did it over 18 years ago and still cured.
Now I will get someone else to move them if they are around but I can do glass and card removal with most sizes. Some kinds (those really spindly ones) don’t bother me at all. Not mad about chunky ones but can cope.

Original poster

Pickleypickles · 22/08/2018 19:37

anquin thinking of you encouraging children into plastic pots and releasing them into the wild 😂😂

OP posts:

MeganChips · 22/08/2018 19:37

Me and like some of the others, it was holding a tarantula! I never in a million years thought I would be able to do it and I’m stupidly proud of myself. Although years of rescuing the DCs from spiders had improved me, it really helped.

The spindly cellar spiders are allowed to live with us and those are the Charlottes. Even the kids live in harmony with those.

House spiders are now safely evicted using a pint glass and a piece of paper, although I will never love those I can now easily deal with them.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 22/08/2018 19:47

Anquin my son is 3 will you release him back into the wild for me?

Reading with interest as spiders make me feel sick! I'll happily leave the spindly ones now which is a big thing for me. But the big ones I can't manage. I'm not as bad as I used to be since having my son as I don't want him to be scared. It's just me and him so I'm gonna need him to get them

HectorlovesKiki · 22/08/2018 19:56

Yes! After I had my 1st DC, I didn't want her to witness (or inherit) my terror of spiders so whenever I saw a spider, I would say to her, quite casually, (with heart beating 19 to the dozen), "Oh look, there's Sarah spider" or Stanley, depending... Anyway, this went on for months & I never really gave it much thought. One day my DC saw a spider & pointed to it excitedly, I think it was a Stanley. It suddenly struck me that I was not afraid of it, not even concerned about it's presence. I realised that, my fear of spiders had completely disappeared, unbelievable considering my history.
Unfortunately, once DC started school, peer pressure resulted in her becoming terrified of spiders, like all the other little girls.
Still, as an adult she is no longer concerned about spiders.
It is possible to overcome arachnophobia but I'm not suggesting you have a child in order to solve this problem.
I wish you well with this issue.

pigsknickers · 22/08/2018 20:12

I wouldn't say I'm completely over it - I still get very teary and panicky if I think a big one is going to actually touch me - but I'm way way better than I was in the past. I make myself be the person in the house who deals with them - big jar, sturdy bit of card, scoop the fucker up and outside in one movement. I find talking to them in a brisk, no nonsense sort of way helps me convince myself it's all fine ("come on you daft hairy bugger what are you doing in that sink, let's get you back outside shall we"). I also big them up to my kids, like how great they are at getting rid of flies and midges. I still lose my shit around the big ones but the smallest size I can handle has got a lot bigger.

vampirethriller · 22/08/2018 20:31

I don't call them spiders. I call them Leggy Running Guys. (Yes it's childish but it works for me.) I tell myself they're frightened and only want to get away from me, and talk to them. "Come on now if you don't get into the cup I can't do anything for you. Have some dignity." Etc.
I used to be screaming terrified of them, couldn't even look at a picture. Having lived alone a while I have had to get over it and I have a baby due in October, and I'm determined she's not going to see me being afraid of them. I still think they're sent by Satan, though.

vampirethriller · 22/08/2018 20:32

And never use a see through container to catch them!

NoWordForFluffy · 22/08/2018 20:37

Like PP, I didn't want my DC to pick up on my fear, so have to act calm around spiders, telling them how great they are!

Then I read on here that spindly ones get rid of MAHOOSIVE house spiders, so they're now welcome to stay, but have an annoying lurking habit!

Also, since starting to do more gardening, I've been up close to all sorts of weird and wonderful-looking arachnids. So I'm getting better. Still don't want to touch one, however! 😂

YouBetterWORK · 22/08/2018 20:45

Yep, money spiders fine, spindlies also fine, it's the thick bodied thick leg scuttle monsters I can't stand. Absolutely terrified (that said a garden spider once got in and I screamed the house down)

I don't know if the friendly spider program would work for those, the goal seems to be holding a fuzzy slow moving tarantula which are nothing like the bastarding speedy giant twats that invade your home come autumn.

PinkBuffalo · 22/08/2018 20:46

I'm another who did the friendly spider course in London.
It has completely changed my life. I was terrified of them.
They really don't bother me now, and I can remove them calmly or happily live alongside them. It's a revelation!

Missdread · 22/08/2018 20:53

Another one highly recommending the Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo! I was terrified of even a picture of a spider and now, while I don't love them, I can catch one in a glass, hoover one up (although they wouldn't advocate that at London Zoo!!) and, even more amazingly, I can leave them alone on the wall. They just don't bother me any more so I can see one on the wall and just leave it. Beforehand, I would have run from the room, put rolled up towels against the doors to prevent it from escaping and would not have rested until it was destroyed!! Honestly OP, it is the best £100 you will ever spend!!! x

Missdread · 22/08/2018 20:54

YouBetterWORK, at London Zoo you do hold a tarantula but most of the "practice" is with domestic house spiders. You start with a small one and catch it in a clear plastic cup and then they get bigger and bigger. The tarantula is just a photo op really! x

chaoscategorised · 22/08/2018 20:58

My DH went on a spider phobia course, cost about £100, at London Zoo (they do it at other zoos too) while he doesn't love them, he can catch one and release it now and doesn't have panic attacks. The instructor said it was the worst case of a spider phobia he'd ever seen and he's SO much better now!

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