To think women have to put up with a lot?

[Alldaylong1]

Just generally, aside from major health problems that can obviously affect anyone, women can have years of period pain/associated issues/ hormone hell, pregnancy and childbirth then later menopause. It can all cause a lot of pain discomfort and mental health problems. Men do have it easier on the whole don't they?! I think women minimise it a bit too much. It is hidden especially in the work place where you do just have to get on with work despite possibly feeling like crap a disproportionate amount of time!

Just found myself musing on this today as I have my monthly lower back and hip ache to contend with!

I don't know. I think men have their own sets of problems to deal with too - just look at the rate of suicide between men and women (far more men killings themselves than women). It's hard to directly compare the two, it's like apples & oranges.

I don't necessarily believe one has it harder than the other.

I do believe that on the whole women's health issues aren't taken as seriously. Even by other women unfortunately. After having an emergency c-section and post natal depression and generally just feeling like a bag of shite, I had my female GP telling me about how she was walking miles with her baby at 3 weeks after her c-section because she just had to get on with it.

Yeah, we have a rough ride of it, but we also get the massively rewarding bits too! Like growing the babies, having the babies, feeding them if we wish, and even if you don't have kids there are always multiple orgasms...

In that respect the guys have got a pretty bum deal

Hmm I think it’s swings and roundabouts. I have to admit that I was surprised to read a while ago that prostate cancer in men is as common as breast cancer in women, with similar survival rates.

Yet you hear far more about breast cancer, far more resources seem to be ploughed into it and look at all the major fundraisers like the moonlight walks in bras.

Not saying it’s always easy for women but I don’t think men have it any easier. Also men tend to hide things like mental health issues, seems to be more stigma around it, and suicide rate is higher

Men also more likely to be injured as victims of crime, eg mugging, fights etc (slightly off topic but still relevant )

When women suffer, men suffer too 😎

Yes we do, we have more empathy, are stronger and more mature as a result.

Men don't know how easy life is for them and as a result studies show they are more inclined to narcissistic behaviour, a third have a criminal record and they commit about 90% of violent and sexual crime if I remember correctly.

Very good points. I suppose I think Fatted has hit the nail on the head about how I feel, that women's health issues generally aren't taken seriously enough. I'm not really talking about serious health issues like cancer, which as I said can affect anyone, but specific women's health which feels like a constant low lying problem for a lot of women and just has to be lived with. Very true that men and mental health is a stigma. Anyway moan over!

The male body is stronger, males are supported and believed in a way females aren't.

if you don't have kids there are always multiple orgasms...

Yeah because a few seconds of pleasure (which you have to work twice as hard for as your male partner) totally makes up for all the difficult crap!

The male body is stronger

The female body is more resilient. That's why premature girls are more likely to survive and women live longer.

Yeah because a few seconds of pleasure (which you have to work twice as hard for as your male partner) totally makes up for all the difficult crap!

For me? Personally? The good outweighs the bad. I wouldn't swap. But I do know how lucky that makes me in many respects.

Women get far money spent on them than men (even when we remove child birth) yet, as someone else mentioned, prostate and breast cancer (female) have similar figures in mortality and prevalence.

Men suffer with more mental health issues including AEN although there are weak arguments that women mask these issues somewhat.

"Men do have it easier on the whole don't they?"

No.

I think they DO put up with a lot, but in fact don't HAVE TO. That's the difference. We hear a lot about "pressures on women", "guilt" they feel at everything, but not enough about how to resist it, or any good stories of how someone actually did.

When it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, I think (although not a mother myself, just from what I heard/read) that women are often treated like cattle by medical profession. All these agony stories of 2 days of labour ... I think it shouldn't be even legal, it's not "normal", something should be done to stop it, medically. If men were giving birth, I bet it's be in a luxury suit with a football on and a can of beer, and everyone attentive.

suite, sorry.

Healthwise I agree with you yes. All things being equal, childbirth affects women's bodies far more and as a PP said nowhere near enough attention is given to these issues. Look at the recent mesh scandal. This ruined thousands of women's lives but was largely ignored by pharmaceutical companies and GPs.

Mentally, it's hard one to call. Women actually attempt suicide more than men (the different methods favoured mean that men are more successful) but then men have their own problems of course they do. Perhaps the idea that they should be the breadwinners, be unemotional and not ask for help are things that bring them down.

On the other hand they don't have the exacting beauty standards that women have and they have an easier time when it comes to housework. No one expects that much from them.

They also have history behind them. They see themselves reflected in history and that must be nice.

Plus, for a range of reasons, they are less likely to be poor.

But then kids. On balance, we are more likely to get to keep the kids and that's a huge thing. I'm not sure I'd trade that for anything (although ask me on another day and I'll have a different answer!)

When women suffer, men suffer too

Except in most cases of DV and rape.

@IfyouseeRitaMoreno

Lesbians are the group most at risk of DV and talking about rape, a crime which is unusual insomuch as only men can do it (in the UK) it's nonsense to use this as evidence of women having it harder than men.

Ok, sub "rape" with "sexual violence" and you get my point, which is that when it comes to sexual violence women have it harder.

Lesbians are the group most at risk of DV.

Really?! Two lesbians a week are murdered by their partners? Can you send me a link towards evidence supporting this because that would have to be a hell of a lot of lesbian violence ( a minority group) to overtake that of male violence.

I'm sure I read a study which said that women were left in abdominal pain longer on average than men: www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

I've seen other similar studies so there might be something in the idea of women's pain being taken less seriously. Maybe it's part of the historic idea of women being 'hysterical', i.e. exaggerating.

Also, wasn't it decided that the side effect of the male contraceptive pill were considered too much? Whereas no-one seems to be concerned about that for women. I've known a lot of women who have had a terrible time with various forms of contraception and it's something men don't really have to deal with.

Yes, we feel more from the pain body.

my DD said to me the other day she thought it was easier being a boy/man, and my knee jerk reaction was that I was glad to be a woman/girl because of being able to have the baby, be the primary care giver and feed the baby. So interesting because men can do all of these things except bf, but there was something indefinably special for me in being a mum, not a dad.

I do think being a man is easier in some ways - my DH's most embarrassing trip to the doctor involved having to have his balls examined - so, so many worse indignities happened to me as a result of babies, birth injuries etc.

Contraception, work, pain of childbirth etc - still wouldn't want to be a man.

Ifyousee...

Surely you're intelligent enough to understand that DV extends to more than murder?

Women get far money spent on them than men

In what ways? Ok I have a smear test once every three years. Other than that, I've been to my GP once in the last few years because I had a solar keratosis on my arm which could have just as easily been there if I had been male.

Being a woman is more difficult. As a non-health related example, today I went out for a lunchtime run. Some utility is digging up the road near my house. As a woman I wondered if they'd wolf-whistle/make some silly remark as I ran past (they didn't). But a man wouldn't need to consider that possibility.

And surely the fact that so many people think pain in childbirth should be accepted is because only females have to go through it. Do we really think elective c-sections would be discouraged if men gave birth? Like hell.

No brainier imo.

Girls and women are expected to put up with less time, money and attention invested in them from the beginning.

It's only very recently that inequality in education has started to be addressed.

Period poverty.

Girls & women more likely to be victims of crime BUT less likely to report to police - that's why you get false stats claiming men are more likely to be victims of violence.

Harder for girls/women to get a uni place.

Harder for girls/women to get employment.

Still massive discrepancies between men & women's pay and conditions. Which subsequently affects sickness pay, maternity pay and pensions.

Sex, Pregnancy & maternity discrimination which again is rarely reported or addressed.

Contraception is still primarily a woman's responsibility AND has the most impact on women's health. The debacle of the trial of male contraceptive pill being halted because the poor men "couldn't cope" with the side effects - none of which were any worse than women deal with in taking hormonal contraception - was a fucking joke! There's also major issues with women not being listened to if they have a coil fitted, experience In some cases major issues, and then find it incredibly difficult to get it removed because women are just expected to suffer.

Health discrimination - I posted a thread a while ago which disappointingly went largely ignored. It was prompted by my coming across research (several studies) that show that girls/women are up to 4 times LESS likely to get referred to a specialist, that when they are it's usually taken them 3 times as long as boys/men to be referred. The stats are even worse for gynae issues!

Re breast cancer v prostate cancer, it may be roughly equal now in terms of funding etc but not that long ago there was a huge discrepancy in lack of funding for research/support for girls/women with breast cancer, that's WHY there was a huge push to improve it. There's still a serious lack of funding/research into gynae cancers (especially ovarian), mc and female infertility.

Mental health - again, not as straightforward as it may seem. Men are less likely to seek help. Women do seek help but frequently find they are treated dismissively. Particularly if those mh issues are felt to be related to 'being a woman' eg related to monthly cycles so not "all the time" or pnd. But mh as a whole has always been the poor relation in the nhs, because it's difficult to treat and difficult to quantify outcomes - so doesn't naturally lend itself to researchers/practitioners being able to easily give recognisable "proof" of success.

So, yea, I think women have it much harder than men.

Things were improving a great deal at one point, I think the women's rights movement lost momentum, I'm hoping it's coming back because we, and our daughters, need it to. But we're also responsible for that and mustn't become complacent.

Ifyousee...

Surely you're intelligent enough to understand that DV extends to more than murder?

When did I say it didn't? Murder by a partner/ex-partner is usually the end of a long line of abuse by that partner.

To repeat your micro-insult back at you - surely you are intelligent enough to know that whether fatal or not, whether PIV or not, when it comes to domestic violence and sexual assault, women are more likely to be the victims and men more likely to be the perps. That is statistically true, so in that particular respect women have it harder than men.