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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague doesn't wash up

39 replies

Arkengarthdale · 22/08/2018 10:24

I have a new colleague, been here 6 weeks. We have a milk heater thingy for the coffee machine which was bought by the boss for me as boss doesn't take milk. Colleague gets in before me and uses the milk thingy but DOES NOT WASH IT UP! Uses it several times over the day without washing it up. Goes home at the end of the day and doesn't wash it up. I think he rinses it out first thing perhaps. I'm the most junior person in the room because I'm the admin but I'm actually an Executive Assistant and my boss absolutely does not expect me or even allow me to wash up his stuff. AIBU leave the now-manky milk thingy to become even more manky? It means that I can't have coffee without washing the bloody thing and I'm damned if I'm going to wash up after a bloke.

I'm so cross, it was such a lovely thing the boss did to ensure I could have milky coffee and now I can't.

We have already had a run in of sorts. The new colleague is trying to boss me about and is pretty patronising. I'm extremely well qualified and experienced but of course comparatively lowly on the pay scale because admin is poorly paid, but I'm still part of the management team.

I just needed to vent. WIBU to kill him for depriving me of coffee?

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 22/08/2018 10:28

If he washed up a cup his penis would fall off. Try to have some compassion for the fragility of man.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 22/08/2018 10:29

After you have used it take it to your desk.

bluetrampolines · 22/08/2018 10:29

Say to him 'is there a reason you don't.....whatever it is he doesnt do' And if he doesnt do it tell your boss.

SilverHairedCat · 22/08/2018 10:31

In this situation I would be keeping the item, clean, in a locked drawer as my personal equipment.

HansSolo22 · 22/08/2018 10:31

Keep it locked in a drawer so he can't use it if that's possible? I know it's such a small issue to get worked up about, but things like that really annoy me too!

MissusGeneHunt · 22/08/2018 10:32

Ask the boss (or just do it, depending on general office dynamics) if you can put up a sign along the lines of 'If you use it, please wash it up, or it's lost forever....'.

Or hide it in your desk drawer, depending on how angry you are....😉😉 Personally I'd probably end up hiding it.... But then I'm feeling like that at the mo.

KnoxValentine · 22/08/2018 10:32

Just ask him nicely to wash it up?

eyycarumba · 22/08/2018 10:33

Leave a passive aggressive note for him about washing his stuff up I have one pinned above the sink

BathroomLights · 22/08/2018 10:33

Was it bought specifically for you or you as in people who have milky coffee?

Biggles398 · 22/08/2018 10:34

What does he say when you've asked him if he could make sure he washes it properly after he's used it?

Parisbun · 22/08/2018 10:35

Well, since you cant speak to your colleague about it you must pass the baton to your/his boss . It cant go on like this and the colleague deserves to be informed of his failings so he can improve.
If he doesnt wash up after himself then the only recourse is to piss in the milk heater . That'll learn him

C0untDucku1a · 22/08/2018 10:36

I agree with blue. Other suggestions sound more passive aggressive and easy to
Ignore.

Is there a reason you do not wash up my the milk (thing) after each time you use it?

Assertive and direct. If he still doesn't, then clearly he is sexist lazy nob.

Original poster
Arkengarthdale · 22/08/2018 10:36

I like the penis falling off answer best Grin

You see, I don't think it should be down to me to ask a grown up to do routine every day grown up stuff like cleaning up after himself. He's not 4. He also leaves the dirty teaspoon on the top and doesn't wipe the top either! Surely people know this stuff by the time they reach their 40s?

The boss will comment eventually on the dirty counter top and will get a raised eyebrow and a look from me 😡

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 22/08/2018 10:39

Youre not asking him to do those things though. Look exasperated when you question why he DOESNT do them.

Original poster
Arkengarthdale · 22/08/2018 10:43

And yes the milk thingy was bought for me as I used to be the only one who used it, but new colleague also takes milk. His predecessor didn't.

Thanks for suggestions to be assertive, I'm not very good at that. The run in we had was when he was ranting about something that hadn't happened and I told him to take it up with the person responsible, not me, and he did that "all right, all right" patting the air with both hands in a calm down dear way. So being assertive got me nowhere last week.

Pissed off that I have to deal with crap at work that's not of my making and shouldn't happen Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Arkengarthdale · 22/08/2018 10:44

Ah good point! The exasperated is there a reason thing

OP posts:
serbska · 22/08/2018 10:44

"Hi Steve, you aren;t washing the milky thing after you have used it. Please can you wash it up ever time after use? Thanks."

He probably thinks it doesn't need to be washed each and every time during the day.

Sonders · 22/08/2018 10:46

I had this happen to me, and I was ruddy heartbroken. I worked for a small company and was the only one who took milk, and also joint most senior.

Then another team hired 3 new milk-lovers, who all used the milk frothy magic machine and didn't wash it up. Within 3 days (when I was off) they'd brunt so much milk into the bottom of it that it was unusable by anyone with standards. They still used it.

Animals.

PuppyMonkey · 22/08/2018 10:51

No need to do a passive aggressive note these days - instead you can do a passive aggressive email cc’ing the boss who bought the equipment. Grin

NaomiNagata · 22/08/2018 11:05

I don't understand; why do so many women on here have problems like this but refuse to do anything about it.

He's assuming it's not his job and you will sort it for him. But it is not your job. Everyone cleans up after themselves so just tell him. Don't ask him to wash it, just tell him. Next time you try to use it and it's not clean just say "You keep leaving the milk warmer dirty. I wash it after I've used it and you need to do the same. There isn't anyone here who is being paid to clean up after you; if you don't want to clean then do not use communal equipment".

It seems that it's usually men who do this sort of thing over and over, and no one ever pulls them up on it. Don't be shy or apologetic and don't ask. Tell him straight. If he comes at you, involve your boss.

VanGoghsDog · 22/08/2018 11:05

Why can't you just pour some milk in your coffee?

Anyway, take the milk thing, whatever it is, away with you and keep it in your desk until he grows up. If he asks say 'oh, I kept finding it dirty so I thought I'd move it so that can't happen'.

VanGoghsDog · 22/08/2018 11:08

I always pull them up on it, the other day I was in early and there was a teaspoon, dirty, already on the surface - only two people in, one very senior, the other mid level. I went to their area holding the spoon up 'whose is this? it was left dirty on the surface and there is only you two in'

Senior person immediately says 'oh, I've not made my coffee yet' - totally threw his team member under the bus. Anyway, he got one of my lectures. Glad I found the early morning spoon leaver at last.

EdisonLightBulb · 22/08/2018 11:09

I would hide it. Simple as. When he asks where it is, I would say it was bought for you and since he refuses to wash it up after he has used it, you are not lending it him anymore.

When you get to 50 you don't give two shits about what anyone thinks or how senior they are.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 22/08/2018 11:11

Just ask him or send him an email.

Original poster
Arkengarthdale · 22/08/2018 11:12

Oh bollocks. He's just washed and and made me coffee. I'll have to wash it now, won't I? Perhaps my post here was secretly beamed to him somehow...

OP posts:
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