Colleague doesn't wash up

[Arkengarthdale]

I have a new colleague, been here 6 weeks. We have a milk heater thingy for the coffee machine which was bought by the boss for me as boss doesn't take milk. Colleague gets in before me and uses the milk thingy but DOES NOT WASH IT UP! Uses it several times over the day without washing it up. Goes home at the end of the day and doesn't wash it up. I think he rinses it out first thing perhaps. I'm the most junior person in the room because I'm the admin but I'm actually an Executive Assistant and my boss absolutely does not expect me or even allow me to wash up his stuff. AIBU leave the now-manky milk thingy to become even more manky? It means that I can't have coffee without washing the bloody thing and I'm damned if I'm going to wash up after a bloke.

I'm so cross, it was such a lovely thing the boss did to ensure I could have milky coffee and now I can't.

We have already had a run in of sorts. The new colleague is trying to boss me about and is pretty patronising. I'm extremely well qualified and experienced but of course comparatively lowly on the pay scale because admin is poorly paid, but I'm still part of the management team.

I just needed to vent. WIBU to kill him for depriving me of coffee?

I agree with naomi - just be direct. No need to play games about it. He may genuinely think that there is a "cleaner" or something whose job it is to wash up and wipe down. But there isn't.

So just be polite but tell him - don't ask - that everyone here is responsible for washing up after themselves and you keep finding the milk warmer dirty after he's used it.

*washed it

There's a man who works for my company but at another location, and occasionally comes in to our office. He always used to leave his dirty mugs and bowls in the sink, even though we have a dishwasher. After a few times of quietly seething every time I saw him do it, I casually said "did you know we have a dishwasher John?" to which he replied "oh you want me to put them in there myself? Ok but don't tell my wife, or she'll be expecting me to do it at home!" What a lazy manchild.

dont ask... tell
Tomorrow when you gt to work, go to get a coffee... walk to "Steves" desk and say "Steve you need to wash the milk wand on the coffee machine when you have used it" and walk away, if you go to get a coffee again and it is dirty go right back to him and loudly say "Steve the milk wand is again dirty, you need to clean it.... now" dont ask... tell!

Could you invest in one of those Aerolatte whisks - they are battery powered milk frothers (you used to be able to get a cheap knock off at IKEA, but the real ones are only about a tenner), so you can keep it in your desk, @Arkengarthdale? Then you have an option if he doesn't keep up this morning's good work.

It's a Nespresso Aerolatte thing that both whisks and heats the milk. They're £50.

I've just this second witnessed him patronising another member of staff and stomping all over this very mild-mannered colleague. Talking over him and ignoring what he was saying. He's obviously just a knob. I've been thinking of leaving and it has just cemented by decision to go. I can't be arsed to deal with any sort of conflict any more, I'm too old and tired now. I had a shit time in my last job and this one has been so very different, everyone has been absolutely fab. Until now.

I was meaning the cheaper ones that just froth the milk - like this one - you'd have to warm the milk first, but they do a good job of frothing it, and you could keep it in your desk drawer, in case he doesn't carry on washing up after himself.

Though, fingers crossed, he has twigged that he needs to stop being such a lazy slob!

Why should you go?
As the new person in the office, remind him he’d catch more flies with honey than vinegar, I.e. people will like him more if he isn’t a tosser.
(Is it flies?)

You're quitting your job over some bloke who's rubbish at washing up?

Just talk to the man. Talk about over-reacting!

All this 'hide it' and passive aggressive bollocks... you're an adult working in a professional situation. Act like it.

It’s up to you if couse op but don’t feel you have to leave over this!
I think a one off breezy comment should do it - no need to be pass agg, next time he uses it and doesn’t wash up just say ‘oh Colleague is it ok if you wash the milky thing after using it? I know it’s a pain but It gets a bit rank if not washed. And I know how important our coffee is here (haha insert weak office banter here).’

Normally these things are cleared up after a one off chat. Yes it’s annoying you have to have it in the first place, but easier down the line.

No I was leaving anyway, currently serving my notice but they're struggling to find a replacement and I've been tempted to use the lack of decent applicants as a lever to stay but change some of my terms and conditions to suit me. Now I won't bother, I'll just leave without a backward glance.

Certainly not leaving just because of someone not washing up!

Oh. Well that kind of ends the thread then.

Then why waste energy worrying about something that won’t concern you for much longer?
Focusing your energy on your next steps would be more productive

Because I still have three months to go and three months without coffee is not attractive